All Jews and six Mexicans

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1. During World War II, Hitler told his Nazis to rape During World War II, Hitler told his Nazis to rape as may French women as they could then say, “In nine months you will have a baby. Name it Adolf. Heil Hitler!” So a young Nazi soldier, eager to do his duty, dutifully went out and raped a pretty young French girl. He said, “In […]...
2. A Jewish man has just won the lottery and invites A Jewish man has just won the lottery and invites his family to a dinner. He then stands up to thank everyone. “First I must thank my beautiful wife for her help and support, then I want to thank my children, and the lottery commission.” “Then I would like to thank Adolf Hitler”. Suddenly everyone […]...
3. Перевод слова journalist Journalist – журналист Перевод слова Freelance journalist – внештатный журналист accredit a journalist – аккредитовать журналиста hack journalist – наемный писака A chance meeting with a Journalist changed everything. Случайная встреча с журналистом изменила все. The minister has dismissed the Journalist’s comments as impertinent. Министр отмел замечания журналиста как не относящиеся к делу. The Journalist […]...
4. Значение идиомы show one’s hand [show one’s hand] {v. phr.} To reveal or exhibit one’s true andhitherto hidden purpose. Only after becoming Chancellor of Germanydid Adolf Hitler really show his hand and reveal that he intended totake over other countries....
5. Hiring an accountant Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, “What is three times seven?” “Twenty-two,” Kowalski replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he knew he should have taken it to […]...
6. Перевод слова America America – Америка Перевод слова Equinoctial America – экваториальная Америка on a visit to South America – во время посещения Южной Америки bank america – американский банк The idea came from America. Идея пришла из Америки. New-York is the gateway to America. Нью-Йорк – ворота в Америку....
7. Перевод слова interview Interview – интервью, собеседование Перевод слова To conduct an interview – проводить интервью to give an interview – давать интервью to obtain an interview – взять интервью taped interview – беседа, записанная на пленку telephone interview – собеседование по телефону We Interviewed the job candidates. Мы провели собеседование с соискателями. The Interview was conducted in […]...
8. Hitler and the Eiffel Tower Adolf Hitler and his entourage pose in front of the Eiffel Tower shortly after the fall of France. One of the most recognized structures in the world is located in Paris, France. With just those clues alone (well and the title of the post…) many have already guessed that this post is about the Eiffel […]...
9. Having a Backup Plan Jerome: This is a very dangerous Undertaking. Do you have a Backup plan if anything goes wrong? Sandy: It’ll work. I’ve come up with Contingencies for every possible Setback. Jerome: It’s just that I’d like to know we have some Recourse if anything goes wrong. Sandy: My plan is Foolproof. Failure is not an option. […]...
10. So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building and this white dude sees him. After the Mexican is done the white guy asks him, “How come you Mexicans don’t wash your hands after you pee?” And the Mexican guy replies, “Because we Mexicans don’t piss in our hands”...
11. Перевод слова living-room Living-room – гостиная, столовая, общая комната Перевод слова Living-room interview – интервью с имитацией домашних условий kitchen living room – кухня-столовая living room spaces – жилые помещения He squired them to the Living-room. Он проводил их в гостиную. When the Living-room door opened, he could hear the bath filling. Приоткрыв дверь гостиной, он услышал шум […]...
12. Journalist I decided to be a journalist. I think it is an interesting and useful profession. I like to watch TV, listen to the radio, read newspapers and magazines. I like everything which connected with mass media. I have a hobby. My friends and I are publishing a small newspaper once a month in our school. […]...
13. A man was driving through West Virginia A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to. He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, “I’m moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?” The men answered, “Go hunt’n, kill things, ‘n screw”. He then asked, “What do you hunt and kill?” […]...
14. A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She asks: “You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that […]...
15. Перевод слова south South – юг, южный Перевод слова In the south – на юге towards the south – к югу to ship goods to South Africa – перевозить товары в Южную Африку Turn South onto Elm Street. Поверните на юг, на улицу Вязов. Most of the birds had already flown South. Большинство птиц уже улетело на юг. […]...
16. The woman who gave birth for Hitler In 1936, Nazi supporter and school graduate Hildegard Trutz was recruited as one of Germany’s racially’pure’ women, chosen to sleep with SS officers in the hope of producing an Aryan child. It is estimated that some 20,000 such babies were bred during the 12 years of the Third Reich, principally in Germany and Norway. This […]...
17. News from Washington WASHINGTON, DC – Frustrated by failed attempts to turn public support away from the president, congress today announced it would begin releasing completely fabricated documents and videotapes on Monday. Speaker Newt Gingrich addressed the press at the Capitol this morning. “We feel that with the release of all the documents from the Starr Inquisition, and […]...
18. Unique job interviews Job Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time. Candidate […]...
19. Значение идиомы big as life [big as life] or [large as life] {adj. phr.} 1. or [life-size] The same size as the living person or thing. The statue of Jefferson was big as life. The characters on the screen were life-size. 2. or [big as life and twice as natural] {informal} In person; real and living. I had not seen […]...
20. My Future Profession (Journalist) В топике Моя будущая профессия (журналист) – я хочу рассказать, почему я решил стать журналистом. Мне нравится все, что связано с СМИ, кроме того, мы с друзьями выпускаем в нашей школе небольшую газету, в которой стараемся интересно написать о школьных событиях и жизни молодежи, публикуем шутки, рисуем карикатуры. Мои любимые школьные предметы – история и […]...
21. Значение идиомы life of Riley [life of Riley] {n. phr.}, {informal} A soft easy life; pleasant orrich way of living. He’s living the life of Riley. He doesn’t haveto work anymore. Compare: BED OF ROSES, IN CLOVER, LIVE HIGH OFF THEHOG....
22. In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about […]...
23. Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. “So, how’s life been for you?” Ed asked. “Not too good,” Ted replied. “My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son’s in prison for […]...
24. Only in America Only in America…can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance… Only in America…are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink… Only in America…do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke… Only in America…do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to […]...
25. One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on. She said “you don’t have to worry about getting me pregnant because you are too […]...
26. A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. “Oh, it was very disappointing,” he said. “I didn’t kill a thing. I’d have been better off staying here in the hospital.”...
27. Ошибки, совершаемые при построении вопросов в косвенной речи в английском языке Наиболее распространенные ошибки Неправильно Правильно Перевод Объяснение She asked me why did I work so much. She asked me why I worked so much. Она спросила меня, почему я так много работаю. Порядок слов в косвенных вопросах: Подлежащее + глагол . She asked me it was raining. She asked me If it was raining. Она […]...
28. Значение идиомы lay-away plan [lay-away plan] {n.} A plan for buying something that you can’t paycash for; a plan in which you pay some money down and pay a littlemore when you can, and the store holds the article until you have paidthe full price. She could not afford to pay for the coat all atonce, so she used […]...
29. Перевод слова plan Plan – план; составлять план, проектировать Перевод слова Five-year plan – пятилетний план to plan a piece of work – спланировать какую-л. работу the school was planned for 500 pupils – школа была запроектирована на пятьсот учащихся He agreed to my Plan. Он принял мой план. The Plan worked out. План сработал. His Plan petered […]...
30. Значение идиомы new lease on life [new lease on life] {n. phr.} A new chance to live; an improvedmanner of living. After his illness and his retirement, living inHawaii was a new lease on life....
31. The Great Depression Causes The decade after World War I was called the “Roaring Twenties”. It was a time of rebuilding after a great war. Many European countries didn’t have enough money. They had to pay a lot back to the USA because the Americans helped to win the war. Above all, Germany was weak because it had […]...
32. Make a last request Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning […]...
33. Baby bear wants to live somewhere else The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of […]...
34. Photographer works There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk – the ghost which ‘lived’ there was feared by all. However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, […]...
35. Last Request Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning […]...
36. Перевод слова South Pole South Pole – Южный полюс Перевод слова South magnetic pole – южный магнитный полюс south celestial pole – южный полюс небесной сферы south geographic pole – южный географический полюс The North Pole and the South Pole are antipodes. Северный полюс и Южный полюс – антиподы. Amundsen’s expedition was the first to reach the South Pole. […]...
37. This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, “Where are you going?” He said, “I’m going to the doctor.” And she said, “Why? Are you sick?” “No,” he said. “I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.” So his wife got up out […]...
38. A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile […]...
39. Значение идиомы foolproof [foolproof] {adj.} So constructed that not even a fool can spoilit; easy. This entrance examination is so easy that it is actuallyfoolproof....
40. When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, “Life isn’t worth living. I think I’m gonna top myself.” “Don’t be stupid, Joe,” said the psychiatrist. “My wife ran […]...