About Steve who wants to know about somethings

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1. Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve’s body, Bob and Jeff realize they’ll have to inform his wife. Bob says he’s good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two […]...
2. Tommy goes into a confessional box and says Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, “Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.” The Priest says, “Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says “Yes father, it’s me.” The Priest says “Who was the woman you were with?” Tommy says “I cannot tell you, father, because I don’t […]...
3. Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he’s worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him, “Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.” Steve says, “Will that keep me from getting sick?” The doctor says, “No, but it’ll look real pretty in the […]...
4. Steve Jobs’ Fruitarian Diet Lands Ashton Kutcher in the Hospital Ashton Kutcher spent time in the hospital after going on one of Steve Jobs’ infamous fruitarian diets to prepare for a new role in a biopic featuring the late Apple CEO. Ashton Kutcher spent time in the hospital after going on one of Steve Jobs’ infamous fruitarian diets to prepare for a new role in […]...
5. Перевод слова sausage Sausage – сосиски, колбаса Перевод слова Sausage meat – колбасный фарш natural sausage casing – кишечная колбасная оболочка sausage casing – колбасная оболочка Would you like any Sausage? Вы хотите сосиску? I’ll take a pound of that Sausage. Я возьму фунт этой колбасы. Mould the Sausage meat into little balls. Слепите из колбасного фарша маленькие […]...
6. Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit and he spots a deer. Being a city kid he’s never seen one before and so he asks his teacher, “What’s that, Miss?” Miss decides to play a word game with him and says, “That’s what your Daddy calls Mummy, Tommy.” Tommy thinks for a […]...
7. Play doctor Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring. “Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don’t you try playing doctor for an hour?” “Sounds great,” Steve replied, “but how do you make it last for an hour?” “Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for […]...
8. There was three guys, one with a rubber There was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick, and one with a nine foot dick. The guy with the rubber dick couldn’t have sex because it wasn’t hard. The guy with the wooden dick couldn’t have sex because the other person would get splinters. Finally, the third guy with […]...
9. Giving CPR Joyce: Lie down on the floor. Steve: Why? Joyce: I have to practice for my CPR exam tomorrow. I’m taking it so I can get my CPR Certification. Lie down please. Steve: Okay, okay. Now what do I do? Joyce: You just lie there and pretend to be Unresponsive, like you’re in Cardiac arrest. Okay, […]...
10. Значение идиомы cat got one’s tongue [cat got one’s tongue] You are not able or willing to talk because of shyness. Usually used about children or as a question to children. Tommy’s father asked Tommy if the cat had got his tongue. The little girl had a poem to recite, but the cat got her tongue. Compare: LOSE ONE’S TONGUE....
11. Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said, “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation: A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Lately, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter […]...
12. Значение идиомы like father, like son [like father, like son] A son is usually like his father in the wayhe acts. – A proverb. Frank’s father has been on the city council;he is now the mayor, and is running for governor. Frank is on thestudent council and is likely to he class president. Like father, likeson. Mr. Jones and Tommy are […]...
13. Describing Touch and Textures Tommy: It’s Just our luck that there’s a major Power failure while we’re shopping in this outdoor Bazaar. Louisa: How are we going to find our way back to the hotel? Tommy: Follow me and stay close. I’ll Lead the way. Louisa: This road is so Rough. I keep Tripping over the stones. Ah! Tommy: […]...
14. Перевод слова grandfather Grandfather – дедушка, предок, почтенный старик Перевод слова Grandfather rights – “дедовские” права; исконные права great grandfather – прадед grandfather file – предпоследняя версия файла My Grandfather had a weak heart. У моего деда было слабое сердце. Give my dear love to Grandfather. Передавай нежный привет дедушке. Grandfather won’t see out another month. Дедушка не […]...
15. Soap dispenser Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has some soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back […]...
16. Describing the Taste of Food Steve, my new boyfriend, decided to cook dinner for me. I was really excited, That is, until I tried his cooking. Steve: What do you think of the soup? I thought: This is so Bland, and what are these little Lumpy things in the soup? Of course I didn’t say that aloud. Elaine: It’s Delicious. […]...
17. Being Hungry and Full Steve: I’m finally home and I’m Hungry. What’s for dinner? Brandy: I’m making a new Dish. I think you’re really going to like it. Steve: Oh, good. Bring it on. Brandy: Well, I Miscalculated the Cooking time a little and it’s going to take longer than I originally planned. I know you’re Famished. Here’s a […]...
18. Значение идиомы there is more than one way to get a pig to market [there is more than one way to get a pig to market] or [flay a fox]or [skin a cat] There are always new and different ways to accomplisha difficult task. – A proverb. “‘How did you get Tommy to study sohard?” Eleanor asked. “I simply disconnected the television set,”Tommy’s mother answered. “There’s more than one […]...
19. After working together for a while After working together for a while, Dick and Jane’s office romance blossomed, and they really developed the hots for each other. One day, they seize the opportunity to sneak into a supply closet to consummate their lust. Dick finds Jane very tight, and difficult to enter, but finally succeeds. When they are finished, Dick says […]...
20. Lick that Tommy, Johnny and Harry were standing around bullshitting about how tough their fathers were. “My dad went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. Lick that!” said young Harry. “Well, my dad did two tours of Vietnam and killed 19 men… so lick that!” Tommy said. “That’s nothing!” declared little Johnny. “My dad hasn’t wiped his ass […]...
21. Appropriate punishment Through the kitchen window a farmer’s wife sees her son coming home from school. The boy’s in a bad mood, and as he crosses the field he kicks a pig. He walks a little further and kicks a cow. Once inside, his mother says, “I saw what you did, young man! For kicking the pig […]...
22. Значение идиомы wear well [wear well] {v.} 1. To continue to be satisfactory, useful, orliked for a long time. My old overcoat has worn very well. Their marriage has worn well. That author wears well. Compare:STAND UP. 2. To carry, accept, or treat properly or well. Grandfather wears his years well. Tommy has won many honors buthe wears them […]...
23. A little girl and a little boy were at day care A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, wanna play house?” He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?” The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your thoughts.” “Communicate my thoughts?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no […]...
24. Optimist vs. pessimist A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, […]...
25. This guy walks in to a bathroom This guy walks in to a bathroom. There is a hole in the wall, and a sign that says “put your dick in here, we’ll do what your wife does for you”. So the guy puts his dick in there, and they sew a button on it....
26. Safe to appear Don was looking for a little “action.” He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. After six times, she was screaming for more. After the *eighth* time, Don told her that he needed to slip […]...
27. Working With the IT Department Whenever I have a Technology problem at work, I try to solve it myself. It’s not that I know a lot of about technology. In fact, the Opposite is true. I’m Pretty much a Computer illiterate, but I still try. Why do I Bother? The answer is the IT department in my company. Every time […]...
28. How many people work in the U. S. government? One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy’s Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turns to his father and asks, “Dad, how many people work in the U. S. government?” The father replies without hesitating, “Oh, about ten percent.”...
29. One day an older fella was in for a checkup One day an older fella was in for a checkup. After his examination, his doctor was amazed. “Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in the greatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!” “Did I say I was 64?” “Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?” “Damn […]...
30. Little Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom Little Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom one day only catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of fucking his wife. Johnny’s father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little […]...
31. We have new babies For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about […]...
32. During the World War II During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something – at least they would die laughing. The navigator went down […]...
33. Значение идиомы shoot out [shoot out] {v.} 1. To fight with guns until one person or side iswounded or killed; settle a fight by shooting. – Used with “it”. The cornered bank robbers decided to shoot it out with the police. The moment she opened the door, the cat shot out and ran around thehouse. During the last half-minute […]...
34. Just cut your hair first A young man comes home and says “Dad, just got my driver’s license and would like to use the family car.” Father replies, :”O. K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months […]...
35. Is it over yet? It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his Priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWll, I hid a Jewish man in my attic.” “Well,” answered the Priest, “That’s no a sin.” “But I made him pay me 20 […]...
36. On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked execpt for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed […]...
37. Fortunate ingenuity A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to […]...
38. Tarantino This guy comes into a bar walks to the bartender and says” Bartender, I got a bet for you. I’ll bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a drop.” The bartender looks at the glass. It’s 3 meters away. He says……”You’re telling me you’ll bet me $300 […]...
39. Значение идиомы have a go at [have a go at] {v. phr.}, {informal} To try, especially afterothers have tried. Bob asked Dick to let him have a go at shootingat the target with Dick’s rifle. She had a go at archery, but didnot do very well....
40. On a very cold winter night On a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close to keep warm. In the morning, the guy on the right says, “I had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick.” The guy on the left says, “I also had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick.” “The guy […]...