A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby

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1. A young couple gets married, and the groom A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000. She confronts […]...
2. A young couple got married, and in their family A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between […]...
3. Speaking to a Baby or Young Child My sister had to go out of town for a couple of days and I offered To look after her 18-month-old Twins. It wasn’t long before I realized that I was Over my head! … Colleen: Okay, you two, it’s time to go Beddy-bye. Baby: No! Colleen: Yes, let’s get your Jammies on. You can […]...
4. The young immigrant couple had just left the The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. “It is wonderful,” the husband exclaimed. “We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?” “Yes, you male chauvinist pig,” his wife replied. “Tonight, you cook dinner and I get on […]...
5. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors office A couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” And he then charged […]...
6. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. “Don’t worry,” he said, “Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.” So he went home feeling […]...
7. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. “Heavens,” she cried, “it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.” The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the […]...
8. Delivering a baby A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he […]...
9. There was an old married couple that had happily There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband’s habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she […]...
10. An elderly couple walk into a doctor office An elderly couple walk into a doctor’s office. The man tells the doctor, “Doctor, we want to have a baby.” The doctor replies,”At your age I don’t think it’s possible, but I’ll give you a jar, come back in a few days with a sperm sample.” So the couple comes back a few days later. […]...
11. One day shortly after the birth of their new baby One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby […]...
12. A couple married forty years were revisiting the A couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman said, “Sweetheart, let’s do the same thing we did here forty years ago.” The guy stopped the car. His […]...
13. A pregnant woman is about to give birth A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. […]...
14. A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each […]...
15. The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant. “Doctor,” she explained, “the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.” The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl’s breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on […]...
16. An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18 An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. “Oh honey”, said the young nymph, “Does that mean we’re going to do it three times?” “No”, said the old man, “It means you can take your pick.”...
17. A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, “What’s the matter?” He says, “Thirty years ago I couldn’t wait to eat it. Now it […]...
18. Three couples wanted to join a church Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the […]...
19. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front […]...
20. A young mother paying a visit to a doctor A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.” “No,” said the doctor calmly, […]...
21. MY TWO DELICATE OPERATIONS Humor story by Larry Graves Website: http://www. gravetimes. com MY TWO “DELICATE” OPERATIONS A few years ago, I had two operations in the space of a couple of Months. These were not major operations. Although for most men, I Believe they would prefer triple heart bypass surgery instead… No man Alive has ever looked forward […]...
22. An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman’s doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again – the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live […]...
23. A young girl had not been feeling well A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. “Young lady,” the doctor began, “you’re pregnant.” “But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists and in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes.” “Well my dear,” said the doctor, “someone in that colony is […]...
24. A young married woman A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, “Do you talk to your husband when you’re making love?” She thought about it a minute then said, “Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now.”...
25. A young lady walks into a doctors office A young lady walks into a doctors office. “Doctor I’m suffering from a terrible discharge” The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says “how does that feel?” Young lady, “Oooh doctor that feels lovely….. …but the discharge is from my ear!!”...
26. An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor’s office. “We have come for an examination,” said the young girl. “Alright,” said the doctor. “Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.” “No, not me,” said the girl. “it’s my old aunt here.” “Very well,” said the doctor. “Madam, stick […]...
27. The wife of an older man is distraught The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband’s um… little sailor can’t salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her. The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, “listen, I don’t do this for […]...
28. A young lady had just visited her doctor A young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share the good news with someone. The […]...
29. Having a Baby Patrick: Hey, congratulations! I just heard that You’re expecting. How far along are you? Cindy: Thanks. I’m Four and a half months pregnant. It feels like it! I feel huge. Patrick: You don’t look it. I bet Carlos is excited. Do you know yet if it’s a boy or a girl? Cindy: No, we don‚Aot. […]...
30. Перевод слова baby Baby – ребенок, младенец Перевод слова Mother’s baby – мамин любимчик, маменькин сынок the chirrup of the baby – детский щебет baby daughter – дочурка, малышка How is the Baby? Как чувствует себя ребенок? Don’t be a Baby! Не будь ребенком! The Baby’s so cute. Ребенок такой милый. Примеры из жизни Слово ‘baby’ используется во […]...
31. A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor surgery A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a […]...
32. This rich couple were going out for the evening This rich couple were going out for the evening when the woman of the house decided to give the butler the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his night. Well, as it turned out the wife wasn’t having a good time at the […]...
33. One night, as a couple lay down for bed This joke sucks…. One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.” The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to […]...
34. Значение идиомы baby grand [baby grand] {n.} A small grand piano no longer than three feet, maximally four feet. This apartment can’t take a regular grand piano, so we’ll have to buy a baby grand....
35. Baby bear wants to live somewhere else The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of […]...
36. There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when […]...
37. Перевод слова couple Couple – пара, два, двое Перевод слова A couple of apples – два яблока in a couple of days – через два-три дня loving couple – любящая пара “Are they a Couple?”No, they are just good friends.” “Они пара?”Нет, они просто хорошие друзья.” They’re an odd Couple. Они странная парочка. We spent a Couple of […]...
38. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making love down there!” “What’s the matter with you?” the husband said when the sailor climbed down. “We weren’t making love.” “Sorry,” said the sailor, “From […]...
39. Karam Chand, 110, believed to be longest-married dies The couple were married in 1925 and they have eight children and 27 grandchildren. A man who was one half of what is believed to be the longest-married couple in the UK has died aged 110. Karam Chand, of Bradford, died on Friday after 90 years of marriage to his wife Kartari. The pair, who […]...
40. Several weeks after a young man had been hired Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the director asked. “When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.” “Well,” the young man […]...