A town in Poland had only one cow

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1. In a small Southern town there was a nativity scene In a small Southern town there was a nativity scene that indicated great skill and talent in its creation. One small feature bothered me though. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, I […]...
2. A little town had a high birth rate that A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, anthropologist and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented offices; set up their computers; got […]...
3. Man goes to see the Rabbi Man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning […]...
4. Перевод слова town Town – город Перевод слова The best people in the town – лучшие люди в городе town clerk – секретарь муниципалитета the contrast between town and country – различие между городом и деревней I walked around Town. Я бродил по центру города. This Town is jinxed. На этом городе лежит проклятие. He tore off into […]...
5. Majority rules So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual “3 to 1, majority rules” statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority. “Oh, God!” he cried. […]...
6. Government cow types If a communist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government sells him some of the milk. If a Socialist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government gives him some of the milk. If a Nazi has two cows, the government shoots him, and takes both […]...
7. Rabbi Stern rides his bike down the road, when Rabbi Stern rides his bike down the road, when a truck careens around = the corner, out of control, and broadsides the Rabbi. Father Flannery watches this event unfold, and as he runs toward the = Rabbi, he notices that Rabbi Stern first touches his forehead, then his = stomach, then each shoulder. As Father […]...
8. Перевод слова mate Mate – помощник, приятель, товарищ Перевод слова I say, mate! – послушай, приятель! machinist’s mate – помощник машиниста cook’s mate – помощник кока What’s the time, Mate? Который час, приятель? I told my Mates some of these facts on returning. По возвращении я рассказал моим приятелям о некоторых из этих фактов. The first Mate was […]...
9. Kislovodsk – the town I was born in Hello, everyone. I’m Svetlana Shmal, 36. I’d like to tell you about the town I’ve been born and I’m still living in. Kislovodsk is a small town in size but a big one in its meaning. It is a health resort, famous with its mineral water called “Narzan” and the biggest park in Russia. Our […]...
10. Значение идиомы on the town [on the town] {adv.} or {adj. phr.}, {informal} In or into a townto celebrate; having a good time or enjoying the amusements in a town. When the sailors got off their ship they went out on the town. Compare: PAINT THE TOWN RED....
11. A stupid dog While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk to Bernie. Rabbi: “What are doing here with a dog?” Bernie: “The dog came here to pray.” “Oh, come […]...
12. For many years, the border between Poland and Russia For many years, the border between Poland and Russia was volatile. Due to a political shift, a farmer found that he was no longer a Russian, but had become a Pole. Thrilled, he told his Wife, “Thank God! No more of those freezing Russian winters.”...
13. Значение идиомы paint the town red [paint the town red] or [paint the town] {v. phr.}, {slang} To goout to drink and have a good time; celebrate wildly; carouse. Itwas the sailors’ first night ashore; they painted the town red. Compare: ON THE TOWN....
14. How far to the town A unit of soldiers was marching a long dusty march across the rolling prairie. It was a hot blistering day and the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next town. A rancher rode past. “Say, friend”, called out one of the men, “how far is it to the next town?” […]...
15. Two Texan are sitting in a small town bar Two Texan are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: “You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister.” “Well,” his buddy replied, “between you and me we got ’em all.”...
16. Значение идиомы town and gown [town and gown] {n.} The residents of a college town and thestudents and teachers of the college. The senator made a speechattended by both town and gown. There were fights between town andgown....
17. A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, “So how high can you advance in your organization?” The Priest says “If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop.” “Well, could you get any higher than that?” asks the Rabbi. “I suppose that […]...
18. An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying “I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork…Have you actually ever tasted it? The Rabbi said, “I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd […]...
19. A young punk gets on the cross-town bus A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He’s got spiked, multicoloured hair that’s green, purple and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he’s wearing worn-out shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewellery and his earring are big, bright feathers. He sits […]...
20. The Rabbi There is a story about a popular young rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave. Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up […]...
21. Значение идиомы go to town [go to town] {v. phr.}, {slang} 1. To do something quickly or withgreat force or energy; work fast or hard. The boys went to town onthe old garage, and had it torn down before Father came home fromwork. While Sally was slowly washing the dishes, she rememberedshe had a date with Pete that evening; then […]...
22. When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. The the guy’s amazement, when […]...
23. Getting in an accident A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, “So you’re a […]...
24. You know you are in a small town You know you’re in a small town….. – when you don’t use turn signals because everybody knows where you’re going. – if you’re born on June 13 and your family receives gifts from the local merchants because you’re the first baby of the year. – if you speak to each dog you pass, by name….. […]...
25. A theological debate Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the […]...
26. Значение идиомы out of town [out of town] {adv. phr.} Having left one’s usual residence orplace of work on a longer trip. “Mr. Smith is out of town untilMonday,” the secretary said. “May I take a message?”...
27. A snow town – Город из снега My name is Vika Vishnjakova and I live in a very small town somewhere behind the Polar circle. I study English at school №6 and I am a student of the 7th form. Very often I spend my summer holidays in summer camps near the Black Sea or the Azov Sea. I like it very […]...
28. A pious man who had reached the age of 105 A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, “How come after all these years we don’t see you at […]...
29. Clean St. Patrick’s Day Jokes An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, “Oy vey! What a wreck!” The priest asks him, “Are you all right, Rabbi?” The Rabbi responds, “Just a little shaken.” The priest pulls a […]...
30. Значение идиомы man-about-town [man-about-town] {n. phr.} A sophisticate; an idler; a member ofcafe society; one who knows where the best plays and concerts aregiven. Ask Mark where to go when you’re in New York City; he’s areal man-about-town....
31. My native town (Tomsk) В топике Мой родной город Томск – я рассказываю о древнем и красивом городе, в котором я родился, и который я очень люблю. Томск – студенческий город, в нем много университетов и институтов, много памятников и ярких цветов. У каждого человека есть родной город и неважно, большой он или маленький. I live in Tomsk. It […]...
32. Rabbi’s anniversary present A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid. When he walks into his hotel room, there’s a beautiful girl, nude, lying on the bed. She says, “Hi, Rabbi, I’m a little something extra that the president of the […]...
33. Confuse Santa Claus 1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask […]...
34. An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, “I gladdened seven hearts today.” “Seven hearts?” asks the friend. “How did you do that?” The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, “I performed three marriages.” The friend looks at him quizically. “Seven?” he asks. “I could understand six, […]...
35. Small Town Charm Alisha: Hey, you’re back from your vacation. Where did you go? New York City? Miami? Ramon: I decided to spend my vacation in Maddieville. Alisha: Where is Maddieville? I’ve never heard of it. Ramon: It’s a small town about a six-hour drive from here. I read about it being a Throwback to the days of […]...
36. Перевод идиомы paint the town red, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: paint the town red Идиома: paint the town red разг. Перевод: кутить, удариться в загул, отпраздновать по полной программе Пример: We decided to paint the town red after we passed our exams. Мы решили отпраздновать по полной программе, когда сдали экзамены....
37. Перевод слова wise Wise – мудрый, благоразумный, здравомыслящий Перевод слова Wise saying – мудрая пословица wise decision – мудрое решение it would not be wise to do it – было бы неблагоразумно делать это This differences a Wise man and a fool. В этом различие между умным и дураком. He was not very Wise. Он был не очень […]...
38. Stay over one night A hindu priest, rabbi and a lawyer were driving down the road, when the car breaks down. Fortunately finding a farmhouse nearby, the farmer informed them that he had only one spare room, and that it had only two twin beds. They were welcome to it, but one of them had to sleep in the […]...
39. Перевод идиомы night on the town, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: night on the town Перевод: вечер, проведенный в развлечениях, праздновании (в городе) Пример: We went out for a night on the town when we finished the project. Вечером мы отправились развлекаться, когда закончили проект....
40. Перевод идиомы man about town, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: man about town Перевод: светский человек Пример: Andrew’s too much of a man about town to go to a football game. Эндрю слишком уж светский человек, чтобы пойти на футбол....