A nun arrives at the local bar

Related topics:

1. Newly issued alcohol warningsThe Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a ... Читать далее...
2. A man running a little behind schedule arrivesA man running a little behind schedule arrives at a picture theatre, goes in to watch the movie that has already started, and as his eyes adjust to the darkness, he is surprised to see a dog sitting beside its master in the row ahead, intently watching the movie. It even seemed to be enjoying ... Читать далее...
3. Farmer John had just walked into the local watering holeFarmer John had just walked into the local watering hole, when who should he see, but his old friend Chris the tractor salesman sitting up at the bar. Chris looked so down and dejected, that John just had to go up and say something to him. «Say, Chris, how ya doing? How’s the tractor selling ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова localLocal — местный, локальный Перевод слова Local bus — местный автобус local call — местный звонок local dialect — местный диалект local jurisdiction — местная юрисдикция, внутренняя юрисдикция We had dinner at a Local restaurant. Мы поужинали в местном ресторане. The shop sells Local crafts. Магазин торгует ремесленными изделиями местного производства. He writes for the ... Читать далее...
5. Double vodkaA guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman «Give me six double vodka.» The barman says «Wow! you must have had one really bad day.» «Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.» The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same ... Читать далее...
6. Bloke is drinking at a pubBloke is drinking at a pub and after a few rounds goes to leave, explaining to the barman he has to go home to do a shit. «Don’t be stupid,» says the barman, «We’ve got a perfectly good toilet here!» «Yes,» explains the drinker, «but I take salts.» «So what??!! That doesn’t matter — you ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова quietQuiet — тихий, бесшумный, спокойный, мирный Перевод слова Quiet wind — тихий ветер quiet footsteps — бесшумные шаги quiet sleep — безмятежный сон quiet conscience — чистая совесть Please be Quiet! Потише, пожалуйста! We were enjoying the Quiet of the forest. Мы наслаждались тишиной леса. He led a Quiet life. Он вел тихую жизнь....
8. Перевод слова pintPint — пинта, кружка эля или пива Перевод слова Pint of milk — пинта молока give us the price of a pint! — налейте кружечку half-pint — бутылка в полпинты A Pint of bitter, please. Пинту горького, пожалуйста. The soldier took pride in being able to gulp back a whole Pint of beer at once. ... Читать далее...
9. A snooker player Bill Webeniuk was famous for his drinking abilityWilliam Alexander «Bill» Werbeniuk (14 January 1947 — 20 January 2003) was a Canadian professional snooker and pool player. Recognisable for his girth, he was nicknamed «Big Bill». William Werbeniuk was born on 14 January 1947 in Winnipeg. His paternal grandfather had immigrated to Canada from Ukraine; his father, according to Werbeniuk, «was one of ... Читать далее...
10. A man walks into a pubThe following was contributed by Emil: A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman, «cor! I’ve just had my first blow-job and it was great! — I’ll have a large whiskey please, barman.» The man takes his whiskey and downs it. «Same again?» asks the barman. «Okay» ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы nurse a drink[nurse a drink] {v. phr.}, {informal} To hold a drink in one’s handat a party, pretending to be drinking it or taking extremely smallsips only. John’s been nursing that drink all evening....
12. A Duck walks into a barA Duck walks into a bar. Duck: You got any bread? Barman: No, sorry, we don’t have any bread [After a few minutes] Duck: You got any bread? Barman: Look, we don’t have any bread [In a little while] Duck: You got any bread? Barman: We don’t have any F*****g bread! [Some time later] Duck: ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы local yokel[local yokel] {n.}, {slang}, {citizen’s hand radio jargon} Citypolice officer, as opposed to state police or highway patrol. There’s a local yokel westbound on the move....
14. A psychology student at a local universityA psychology student at a local university was sent on a field assignment to evaluate three patients in a local mental hospital. The first patient was locked in his room throwing tennis balls everywhere. The student asked why, and the patient answered «When I get out of here I going to ba a tennis pro.» ... Читать далее...
15. The customs of an IrishmanAn Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, «You know, a pint goes flat after ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы drink like a fish[drink like a fish] {v. phr.} To drink in great quantities; to be addicted to alcohol. John is a nice guy but, unfortunately, he drinks like a fish....
17. The local priest came across Paddy who hadThe local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. «Paddy,» he said, » I’m afraid I’ll not be seeing you in Heaven one day.» «Really, Father?» slurred Paddy. «What have you done?»...
18. I was shopping at our local supermarketI was shopping at our local supermarket. When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead of me. As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her, «Paper or plastic?» «It doesn’t matter,» she replied, «I’m bisacksual.»...
19. A rather attractive woman goes up to the barA rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. ... Читать далее...
20. Drink fault-finding guideA solution to all of your drinking troubles Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet. Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face. Solution: Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror. Continue with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is ... Читать далее...
21. Humor about Dumb IrishmenThe local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. «Now don’t let me ever see your face again,» said the ... Читать далее...
22. Cleverest women are the heaviest drinkersThose with degrees are almost twice as likely to drink daily, and they are also more likely to admit to having a drinking problem. A similar link between educational attainment and alcohol consumption is seen among men, but the correlation is less strong. The findings come from a comprehensive study carried out at the London ... Читать далее...
23. The local courtroom was packed as testimony beganThe local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова alcoholAlcohol — алкоголь, спирт Перевод слова Absolute alcohol — чистый спирт denatured alcohol — денатурат methyl alcohol — метиловый спирт alcohol addict — алкоголик I abstain from Alcohol. Я воздерживаюсь от алкоголя. Alcohol fogs his brain. Алкоголь затуманивает его мозги. His breath stank of Alcohol. От него воняло перегаром. Примеры из жизни Обратите внимание, что ... Читать далее...
25. A woman goes into the local newspaper office to seeA woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, «Well, then, let it read ‘Fred Brown died’.» Confounded at the woman’s thrift, ... Читать далее...
26. A young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supplyA young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supply of tampons for herself. She goes to the aisle where they are located and sees they are priced at five boxes for one dollar. Thinking this is a misprint; she finds a clerk and asks if this can possibly be the correct price. ... Читать далее...
27. Once the club duffer challenged the local golf proOnce the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. «But,» said the duffer, «since you’re obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two’gotchas’.» The golf pro didn’t know what a ‘gotcha’ was, but he went along with ... Читать далее...
28. While enjoying a drink with a mate one nightWhile enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he’d like to come back to her place. The pair jump into ... Читать далее...
29. Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunchBill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, «Are you ready to order?» Clinton replies, «Yes, I’d like a quickie.» «A quickie?!?» the waitress replies. «Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don’t think that is ... Читать далее...
30. Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the streetLarry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her pet cat in her arms. «Hey, lady,» yells Larry, «Throw me the cat.» «No,» she cries, «It’s too far.» «I play football, I can catch him.» The ... Читать далее...
31. A local United Way office realized thatA local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. «Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like ... Читать далее...
32. Warning labelsIf government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let’s at least have a little truthfulness about the matter! WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major ... Читать далее...
33. Albert arrives at a party and introduces himself toAlbert arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, «What is your IQ?» to which the man answers, «241.» «That is wonderful!,» says Albert. «We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!» Next Albert introduces himself ... Читать далее...
34. A woman goes into a bar and orders a beerA woman goes into a bar and orders a beer. She grabs the beer and tips it down the back of her skirt. The barman looks amazed as she orders another and again tips it down her skirt. Finally, the barman says: «Why are you tipping your drinks down your skirt?» «Well,» the chick replies, ... Читать далее...
35. A wild partySam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alabama to be as far away from humanity as possible. Sam sees the mailman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it’s total peace ... Читать далее...
36. Discovering too late that aDiscovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant’s owner waited nervously for the clerics’ reaction. «Quick, man,» he whispered to the waiter, «what did they say?» «Nothing,» replied the waiter. «They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets.»...
37. I don’t owe anything for this drinkThe bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, «What’ll you have?» The guy answers, «A scotch, please.» The bartender hands him the drink, and says «That’ll be five dollars,» to which the guy replies, «What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.» A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, ... Читать далее...
38. Picking a FightI was sitting at my local bar waiting for my friends to arrive to watch the game. Two guys sitting a few seats away kept giving me strange looks, and one of them said, “What are you looking at?” I looked around to make sure that he was speaking to me, and before I could ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы pint-size[pint-size] {adj.}, {informal} Very small. The new pint-size, portable TV sets have a very clear picture. It was funny to hear apint-size voice coming out of a great big man....
40. Перевод слова generallyGenerally — обычно, как правило, вообще, в большинстве случаев Перевод слова What time do you generally get up? — когда ты обычно встаешь? generally speaking — вообще говоря; в общих чертах generally received — общепринятый He was Generally punctual to a minute. Он был обычно пунктуален до минуты. Frogs Generally feed at night. Лягушки, как ... Читать далее...