A Mother’s Dictionary

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1. Term dictionary Parent’s Dictionary of Meanings DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME: what you call your child when you’re mad at him. GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not […]...
2. A small boy walks into his mothers room A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless. “Mummy, mummy, what are these?” he says, pointing to her breasts. “Well, son,” she says, “these are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven.” Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied. Two […]...
3. A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. “don’t worry, ya,” he said. “I’ll pack some more trays and have them […]...
4. Dictionary for women Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, […]...
5. Перевод слова supermarket Supermarket – супермаркет Перевод слова To shop at a supermarket – делать покупки в супермаркете cashier in a supermarket – кассир в супермаркете supermarket trolley – тележка в супермаркете He clerks in a Supermarket. Он работает продавцом в супермаркете. At lunchtime, I popped to the Supermarket to stock up on vital provisions. В обеденный перерыв […]...
6. Значение идиомы boiling point [boiling point] {n.} 1. The temperature at which a liquid boils. The boiling point of water is 272 Fahrenheit. 2. The time when you become very angry. He has a low boiling point. After being teased for a long time, John reached the boiling point. When John made the same mistake for the fourth time, […]...
7. Clinton administration medical dictionary Acute: Opposite of an ugly Artery: The study of paintings Bacteria: Back door of a cafeteria Barium: What doctors do to dead patients Benign: What you are after you’re eight. Bowel: Letter like A, E, I, O, or U Cat scan: Searching for a kitty Cauterize: Made eye contact with her Cesarean Section: Neighborhood in […]...
8. Getting Immunizations Required by Schools Jonas: Hi, Jenny. Are you getting your kids ready for school, too? Jenny: Yes, as you can see, we’re buying lots of school supplies. Jonas: Did you get the school letter reminding parents to submit proof of Immunization before the first day of school? I know that your youngest is starting school this year. Jenny: […]...
9. Перевод слова distance Distance – расстояние, дистанция Перевод слова Air-line distance – расстояние по прямой free distance – зазор, просвет the station is no distance at all – до станции рукой подать Our oxen scented the water at a Distance. Наш скот издали почуял воду. I heard thunder grumbling in the Distance. Я слышал, как вдалеке грохочет гром. […]...
10. Перевод слова bottle Bottle – бутылка Перевод слова To drink a whole bottle – выпить целую бутылку to bottle a beverage – разливать напиток по бутылкам to fill a bottle – наполнить бутылку Has the baby finished her Bottle yet? Малыш уже выпил свою бутылочку? Between us, we drank three Bottles of wine. Между нами, мы выпили три […]...
11. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. “Don’t worry,” he said, “Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.” So he went home feeling […]...
12. Bikers Support Abused Children During Courtroom Cases Bikers Against Child Abuse International (BACA) exists with the intent to create a safer environment for abused children. Crime Watch Daily hits the road and meets the BACA crew in Los Angeles as they work with a new member named Mika. BACA members truly go above and beyond in order to make children more comfortable […]...
13. A Lutheran minister is driving down A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.” The […]...
14. Getting Advice from Mothers-in-Law Marc: Who was that? Carla: It was your mother – again. She wanted to give me another piece of Unsolicited advice about Housekeeping. She’s called five times this week already. Marc: She’s just trying to be helpful. Carla: I wish she’d do it without being so Critical. I feel like she enjoys Finding fault with […]...
15. I was shopping at our local supermarket I was shopping at our local supermarket. When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead of me. As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her, “Paper or plastic?” “It doesn’t matter,” she replied, “I’m bisacksual.”...
16. A Jewish Mother Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight? You’re going out? Yes. With whom? With a friend. I don’t know why you left your husband. He is such a good man. I didn’t leave him. He left me! You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies. I […]...
17. A Birthday Party My sister called me at the Last minute to help her with my nephew’s birthday party. She was feeling really sick and couldn’t get out of bed. I’d never given a children’s party before, but how hard could it be? Well, I found out. First, I had to go to the Party supply store To […]...
18. Childhood Illnesses and Diseases Rebecca: You look exhausted! Another tough day at the Daycare center? Puneet: Yeah, it was. This is a Record year for the kids getting sick. The Chicken pox is Going around. Last year, it was the Measles. The year before that, it was the Mumps. This year, it’s the chicken pox. Rebecca: You sent the […]...
19. Dictionary of Musical Terms JAZZ : Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes. BLUES : Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning. WORLD MUSIC : A dozen different types of percussion all going at once. OPERA : People singing when they should be talking. RAP : People talking when they should be singing. CLASSICAL […]...
20. Wear your collar backwards Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?” The priest says, “Because I’m a father.” Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.” The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I […]...
21. Divine Right Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest […]...
22. Значение идиомы boil over [boil over] {v. phr.} 1. To rise due to boiling and overflow down the sides of a pan or a pot. “Watch out!” Jane cried. “The milk is boiling over on the stove!” 2. To become enraged to the point of being unable to contain oneself. John took a lot of abuse from his boss, […]...
23. The Eighteen Bottles I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else… I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with […]...
24. Значение идиомы believe one’s ears [believe one’s ears] {v. phr.} 1. To believe what one hears; trust one’s hearing. – Used with a negative or limiter, or in an interrogative or conditional sentence. He thought he heard a horn blowing in the distance, but he could not believe his ears. 2. To be made sure of. Is he really coming? […]...
25. Get me something cheap After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. “That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. “Thats […]...
26. Перевод слова shopping Shopping – покупка товаров, шопинг Перевод слова Shopping street – торговая улица to do one’s shopping – делать покупки she’s out shopping – она пошла по магазинам I am just raring to go Shopping. Мне просто не терпится отправиться в поход по магазинам. I need to go shopping this Afternoon. Днем мне нужно сходить за […]...
27. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands There’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on […]...
28. Значение идиомы keep one’s distance [keep one’s distance] {v. phr.} To be cool toward someone; avoidbeing friendly. Mary did not like her co-worker, Betty, and kepther distance from her. Compare: KEEP ONE AT A DISTANCE....
29. At a grocery store A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, “No.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Monica, we just have […]...
30. Значение идиомы crack a bottle [crack a bottle] {v. phr.} To open a new bottle of alcoholic beverage. On birthdays it is customary to crack a bottle and offer one’s best wishes....
31. Перевод слова dictionary Dictionary – словарь Перевод слова Standard dictionary – нормативный словарь explanatory dictionary – толковый словарь bilingual dictionary – двуязычный словарь an encyclopedic dictionary – энциклопедический словарь I am in want of a good Dictionary. Мне нужен хороший словарь. Look it up in the Dictionary. Посмотри в словаре. She recommended me a good Dictionary. Она порекомендовала […]...
32. Tarzania What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance” What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses in the distance? Nothing. He doesn’t recognize them. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in […]...
33. ATM procedures Chase is very pleased to announce that we are installing new Drive-thru ATMs where customers will be able withdraw cash without leaving their vehicle. (Other accounts can also utilise this facility) Male and Female procedures have been tailored to best reflect the behaviors of those particular groupings. PROCEDURE FOR MALE CUSTOMERS: 1. Drive up to […]...
34. Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying. “Why are you crying?” asked the other child. “I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger.” When he heard this, the other child started to cry. “Why are you crying?” “I’m here for a urine test.”...
35. Значение идиомы walking dictionary [walking dictionary] {n. phr.} A person highly knowledgeable inmatters of language use. If you want to know what “serendipity”means, ask my Uncle Fred. He is a professor of English and is also awalking dictionary....
36. The man approached the very beautiful woman The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”...
37. Перевод слова child Child – ребенок Перевод слова Gifted child – одаренный ребенок delinquent child – провинившийся ребенок disobedient child – непослушный ребенок He is but a Child. Он всего лишь ребенок. I was a timid Child. Я был застенчивым ребенком. He is our only Child. Он наш единственный ребенок....
38. Перевод сленгового выражения mind-blowing, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: mind-blowing Перевод: потрясный, фантастический, шокирующий Пример: The horror movie that we just saw was mind-blowing. Фильм ужасов, который мы только что посмотрели, был просто потрясный....
39. A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate.” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I […]...
40. University courses for men and women Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You Too Can Do […]...