A Mother’s Dictionary

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1. Term dictionaryParent’s Dictionary of Meanings DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME: what you call your child when you’re mad at him. GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова yardYard — ярд; двор Перевод слова To sell by the yard — продавать на ярды (ткань и т. п.) all over the yard — по всему двору poultry yard — птичий двор The dog ran loose in the Yard. Собака свободно бегала по двору. The kids built a snowman in the front Yard. Дети слепили ... Читать далее...
3. Dictionary for womenArgument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, ... Читать далее...
4. The Hazards of Kicking the CatThe Hazards of Kicking the Cat There was a little boy with a bad attitude. He was at home one day doing his chores. He was feeding the chickens and he got mad and kicked one across the yard. He was feeding the hogs and got mad and kicked the hell out of one of ... Читать далее...
5. A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noisesA man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, «help, help, I am having a heart attack», the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run ... Читать далее...
6. Your father is drunkTo The Tune Of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town Oh you better not shout, you better not cry, You better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why, Daddy’s home and I think he’s drunk. He’s walkin’ real slow, he slurs when he speaks, I don’t even think he’s shaved in two weeks, Daddy’s home and ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова opportunityOpportunity — возможность, перспектива Перевод слова Golden opportunity — прекрасный случай, блестящая возможность to let the opportunity slip — упустить возможность at the first opportunity — при первом же удобном случае equality of opportunity — равные возможности I hope I will have the Opportunity of seeing you here often. Надеюсь, что буду иметь возможность часто ... Читать далее...
8. Little Lucy was playing in the garden when sheLittle Lucy was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating. «Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?» «They’re mating, Lucy» he replied. «What do you call the spider on top Daddy?» Lucy asked. «Oh, that’s a Daddy Longlegs. Lucy asked, «Oh, so one’s a Daddy Longlegs and the other one is a ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы big daddy[big daddy] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} The most important, largest thing, person or animal in a congregation of similar persons, animals, or objects. The whale is the big daddy of everything that swims in the ocean. The H-bomb is the big daddy of all modern weapons. Al Capone was the big daddy of organized crime in ... Читать далее...
10. A small boy walks into his mothers roomA small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless. «Mummy, mummy, what are these?» he says, pointing to her breasts. «Well, son,» she says, «these are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven.» Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied. Two ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова defenseDefense — защита Перевод слова Defense mechanism — защитный механизм defense alliance — оборонительный альянс defense pact — договор о защите They mounted a good Defense. Они соорудили хорошую защиту. We need to improve our Defenses. Мы должны улучшить нашу оборону. The Defense called only one witness. Защита вызвала только одного свидетеля. Интересные факты Tower ... Читать далее...
12. Anybody Home?A boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, «Hello?» Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to the youngster, the boss asked, «Is ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова distanceDistance — расстояние, дистанция Перевод слова Air-line distance — расстояние по прямой free distance — зазор, просвет the station is no distance at all — до станции рукой подать Our oxen scented the water at a Distance. Наш скот издали почуял воду. I heard thunder grumbling in the Distance. Я слышал, как вдалеке грохочет гром. ... Читать далее...
14. Bikers Support Abused Children During Courtroom CasesBikers Against Child Abuse International (BACA) exists with the intent to create a safer environment for abused children. Crime Watch Daily hits the road and meets the BACA crew in Los Angeles as they work with a new member named Mika. BACA members truly go above and beyond in order to make children more comfortable ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова bottleBottle — бутылка Перевод слова To drink a whole bottle — выпить целую бутылку to bottle a beverage — разливать напиток по бутылкам to fill a bottle — наполнить бутылку Has the baby finished her Bottle yet? Малыш уже выпил свою бутылочку? Between us, we drank three Bottles of wine. Между нами, мы выпили три ... Читать далее...
16. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have childrenAfter a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. «Don’t worry,» he said, «Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.» So he went home feeling ... Читать далее...
17. A tough case was being argued in courtA tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle of hundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied. «The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!» «I don’t think so,» his attorney told him. «I sent it in ... Читать далее...
18. Getting Advice from Mothers-in-LawMarc: Who was that? Carla: It was your mother – again. She wanted to give me another piece of Unsolicited advice about Housekeeping. She’s called five times this week already. Marc: She’s just trying to be helpful. Carla: I wish she’d do it without being so Critical. I feel like she enjoys Finding fault with ... Читать далее...
19. Children`s happiness — Детское счастьеChildhood is the happiest time. We always remember our childhood as the happiest moments of our life. However, childhood made for us our parents. Each child dreams about happy family, about loving parents. And parents dream to do only the best for their babies, give them that they had not. Parents are the nearest people ... Читать далее...
20. Daddy is going to warThe following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred during the war. During the Persian Gulf War, I was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia. As I was saying good-bye to my family, my three-year-old son, Christopher, was holding on to my leg and pleading with me not to leave. «No, ... Читать далее...
21. Their true intentionOne morning a little girl ran inside and said «Daddy, Daddy my sister and the man you hired last week are up on the hay loft in the barn on all that new hay we just bought. She has her dress up and he has his pants down. I think they are about to piss ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы child’s play[child’s play] {adj.} Easy; requiring no effort. Mary’s work as a volunteer social worker is so agreeable to her that she thinks of it as child’s play....
23. A Jewish MotherHi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight? You’re going out? Yes. With whom? With a friend. I don’t know why you left your husband. He is such a good man. I didn’t leave him. He left me! You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies. I ... Читать далее...
24. Two poor kids were invited by a rich kidTwo poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool. When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said: «Did you notice the small dongs on the rich kids?» The other answered: «Yeah! It’s probably because they have toys to play with!»...
25. A Birthday PartyMy sister called me at the Last minute to help her with my nephew’s birthday party. She was feeling really sick and couldn’t get out of bed. I’d never given a children’s party before, but how hard could it be? Well, I found out. First, I had to go to the Party supply store To ... Читать далее...
26. England JokesQ: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы zone defense[zone defense] {n.} A defense in a sport in which each player has to defend a certain area. Thecoach taught his team a zone defense because he thought his playersweren’t fast enough to defend against individual opponents....
28. A man gets home early from workA man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. «What’s up?» he says. «I’m having a heart attack,» cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, ... Читать далее...
29. Prison vs a housewifeIn prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle. At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow ... Читать далее...
30. Childhood Illnesses and DiseasesRebecca: You look exhausted! Another tough day at the Daycare center? Puneet: Yeah, it was. This is a Record year for the kids getting sick. The Chicken pox is Going around. Last year, it was the Measles. The year before that, it was the Mumps. This year, it’s the chicken pox. Rebecca: You sent the ... Читать далее...
31. Dictionary of Musical TermsJAZZ : Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes. BLUES : Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning. WORLD MUSIC : A dozen different types of percussion all going at once. OPERA : People singing when they should be talking. RAP : People talking when they should be singing. CLASSICAL ... Читать далее...
32. Wear your collar backwardsJohnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, «Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?» The priest says, «Because I’m a father.» Johnny says, «Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.» The priest says «You don’t understand, son. I ... Читать далее...
33. Clinton administration medical dictionaryAcute: Opposite of an ugly Artery: The study of paintings Bacteria: Back door of a cafeteria Barium: What doctors do to dead patients Benign: What you are after you’re eight. Bowel: Letter like A, E, I, O, or U Cat scan: Searching for a kitty Cauterize: Made eye contact with her Cesarean Section: Neighborhood in ... Читать далее...
34. Being GiftedWould you want to have a special Talent in something? Maybe as a musician or an athlete? I’m Of two minds about this. Sometimes I watch TV or read about someone who has a special talent. This was true during the Olympics. Some of those athletes I saw were very talented. Whether it was Playing ... Читать далее...
35. A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a showerA little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower. It’s at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says….. «Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?» The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back at the little girl and winks…. ... Читать далее...
36. The Eighteen BottlesI had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else… I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with ... Читать далее...
37. Get me something cheapAfter being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. «How about some perfume?» he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. «That’s a bit much,» said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. «Thats ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы boys will be boys[boys will be boys] Boys are only children and must sometimes get into mischief or trouble or behave too roughly. Boys will be boys and make a lot of noise, so John’s mother told him and his friends to play in the park instead of the back yard....
39. Значение идиомы keep one’s distance[keep one’s distance] {v. phr.} To be cool toward someone; avoidbeing friendly. Mary did not like her co-worker, Betty, and kepther distance from her. Compare: KEEP ONE AT A DISTANCE....
40. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is bakingA young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says «Look Momma, I’m a white boy.» His mother slaps him hard On the face and says «Boy, go show your Daddy.» The ... Читать далее...