A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral

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1. Перевод слова marineMarine — морской Перевод слова Marine engineering — кораблестроение marine boiler — судовой котел marine cable — морской кабель He dishonored the uniform and did not deserve to be a Marine. Он опозорил честь мундира, и недостоин быть в рядах морской пехоты. Marine insurance is governed by a strict series of rules and regulations. Морское ... Читать далее...
2. A sailor and a marine are taking a pissA sailor and a marine are taking a piss at a public restroom. The marine finishes first and washes his hands. The sailor just walks to the exit. So the marine says to him: hey, in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after taking a piss. The sailor says: yeah well, in ... Читать далее...
3. An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a newAn army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, «But you just got a new pair last month!» «Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,» stammered the private. «Accident, what kind of an accident?» ... Читать далее...
4. A dog for a wifeIt was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out «Sir, Good Evening, Sir!» The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute ... Читать далее...
5. My men are very braveGeneral McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: «So how are your men?» «Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie.» «I hope ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова armyArmy — армия Перевод слова Army brass — командующий армией to organize an army — создать армию to raise an army — собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now — семнадцатый ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова generalGeneral — общий, повсеместный, главный Перевод слова General meeting — общее собрание as a general rule — обычно, как правило general opinion — общее мнение The practice threatens to become General. Этот обычай грозит стать всеобщим. There was a General disposition to remain. Большинство хотело остаться. In General people like her. Обычно она людям нравится....
8. The Army Airborne major was used to harassmentThe Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. «Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'» the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, «because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in ... Читать далее...
9. Tribute to the MarinesA tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world. . . * United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can’t have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less ... Читать далее...
10. Fishing on the lakeA famous admiral and an equally famous general were fishing together when a sudden squall came up. When it died down both eminent warriors were struggling helplessly in the water. The admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the general, using an oar. Catching his ... Читать далее...
11. At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturerAt the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, «Will we have to fight a World War Three?» «Yes, comrades, looks like ... Читать далее...
12. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the MeadowlandsThere’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on ... Читать далее...
13. There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man forThere was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for a soldier and propositioned him. The Salvation Army gent said, «Ma’am, you may be forgiven, as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of ‘original sin’?» The hooker replied, «Well, maybe and maybe not. But if it’s «really» ... Читать далее...
14. Marine biology researchers have developed a new method«Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible.» «If this doesn’t work, beat the shark with your stump.»...
15. Army fitness reportBritish Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s «206’s»…. — His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. — I would not breed from this Officer. ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы in general[in general ] {adv. phr.} Usually; very often. In general, mother makes good cookies. The weather in Florida is warm ingeneral. Compare: ON THE WHOLE....
17. The general went to the doctor for a physicalThe general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor asked him the standard questions — age, height, weight, and then he asked when was the last time the general had sex. ‘Oh,’ he mused, ‘It was 1945.’ ‘Isn’t that a long time to go without sex?’ the doctor asked. ‘I ... Читать далее...
18. Army needs new recruitsTop Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting 8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles 7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit? 6. Get rid of all those creepy «Richard Simmons Wants ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова seamanSeaman — моряк, мореплаватель, матрос Перевод слова Merchant seaman — моряк торгового флота leading seaman — старший матрос ordinary seaman — простой матрос The captain of a ship is above a Seaman. Звание капитана корабля выше звания матроса. They offered three guineas ahead to the crimps for every good able Seaman. Они платили вербовщикам по ... Читать далее...
20. By definitionA young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy, seeing the young Lt.’s green uniform asks him if he was in the Army. The Lt. smiles and say’s, «Why yes I am…you wanna wear my hat?» The boy nods and the ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод идиомы in general, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: in general Перевод: вообще, в общем Пример: In general, most of the people in our apartment are happy with the new manager. В общем, большинство жильцов нашего дома довольно новым менеджером....
22. How Chuko Liang Used A Lute To Single-Handedly Defeat An Army Of 150,000During China’s Three Kingdoms period there was a brilliant general and master strategist of Shu Han named Chuko «Sleeping Dragon» Liang. During the War of the Three Kingdoms, he had sent a majority of his soldiers many miles away before he was alerted that an opposing army of 150,000 was headed towards the small town ... Читать далее...
23. Flushing Toilets With Seawater Could Protect Marine LifeEnvironment: Salty wastewater is less toxic to some marine organisms than freshwater, despite concern about disinfection by-products In Hong Kong, about 80% of residents flush their toilets with seawater, thanks to a separate water distribution system set up in the 1950s. The approach conserves the city’s scarce freshwater resources, and has also been adopted by ... Читать далее...
24. Pirate at the local bar discusses his pastA seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, «So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?» The pirate replies, «We were in a storm at sea, and ... Читать далее...
25. During an Army war gameDuring an Army war game, a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C. O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. «Sorry sir,» said one of the loafers, «but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.» The C. ... Читать далее...
26. How Army policy beganThis is Army policy all begins… Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes ... Читать далее...
27. A duck walks into a general storeA duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,»Got any fresh fruit?» «No.» «Got any fresh vegetables?» «No. We have only canned and dry goods.» The next day, the duck returns. «Got any fresh fruit?» «No.» «Got any fresh vegetables?» «No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods. If ... Читать далее...
28. The Pentagon decided one day that there were to manyThe Pentagon decided one day that there were to many Generals, so they decided to offer early retirement to three of them. They called Congress and asked them to vote on a method of determining each General’s early retirement bonus. After voting Congress decided that each man would choose two points of their body to ... Читать далее...
29. A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial IndiaA British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. «Sergeant-Major!» the colonel shouted.»Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave.» «Yessir,» the Sgt. Major replied. A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. «Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate ... Читать далее...
30. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopersA young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. «So, did you ... Читать далее...
31. US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary schoolUS Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school. After fifteen minutes speaking he says: ‘I will now answer any questions you have.’ Bobby stands up and says: ‘I have four questions’: 1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why haven’t you caught Osama bin Laden? 3. Why ... Читать далее...
32. IBM Memo about Peripheral ReplacementIBM Memo about Peripheral Replacement This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us may find it rather funny. Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) Mouse balls are now available as FRU. ... Читать далее...
33. Bring some more ammoThe company commander saw the results of Private Gibbson’s Firing exercise and his face fell. The private exclaimed plaintively: «Sir, I think I am going to commit suicide by shooting myself.» «By shooting?» reasked the company commander, «Not a bad idea! But take as many cartridges as possible.» — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
34. Soldier stands guardA new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, «Halt, who goes there?» The chauffeur, a corporal, says, «General ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова towerTower — башня, вышка Перевод слова Lower part of the tower — подвал башни stumpy tower — низкая и широкая башня fire tower — пожарная вышка water tower — водонапорная башня How high is the Eiffel Tower? Какова высота Эйфелевой башни? The castle Tower has been shot away. Башня замка была разрушена орудийным залпом. She ... Читать далее...
36. Pilot to towerPilot to tower. . . pilot to tower. . . I am 300 miles from land. . . 600 feet over water. . . and running out of fuel. . . please instruct! Tower to pilot. . . tower to pilot. . . repeat after me: «Our Father, which art in heaven. . .»...
37. A merchant captain and several of his officersA merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after a big night ashore. As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted, «Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting on me!» The following morning the ... Читать далее...
38. Hitler and the Eiffel TowerAdolf Hitler and his entourage pose in front of the Eiffel Tower shortly after the fall of France. One of the most recognized structures in the world is located in Paris, France. With just those clues alone (well and the title of the post…) many have already guessed that this post is about the Eiffel ... Читать далее...
39. During the Vietnam warDuring the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle. «Didn’t you hear me say that we’re outnumbered 4 to 1 ?» The Marine replied, «I got my four Sir.»...
40. A man was being interviewed for a jobA man was being interviewed for a job. «Were you in the service?» ask the interviewer. «Yes, I was a marine,» responded the applicant. «Did you see any active duty?» «I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability.» «May I ask what happened?» «Well, I had a grenade go off ... Читать далее...