A man was walking down the street when he noticed

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1. Two blondes were walking down the street Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar.” “Let me look.” said the other one. So she handed her the compact. The second blonde looked in the mirror […]...
2. Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, “Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?” Grandpa looks at him and says “No Johnny, I will not.” “But Grandpa, why?” asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies. “Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you […]...
3. A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile […]...
4. There was a drunk man walking down the street turning There was a drunk man walking down the street turning his car keys back and forth. A policeman came up to him and asked, “Sir, what are you doing?” The drunk replied, “I am looking for my car, the last time I saw it, it was on the end of these keys.” The police officer […]...
5. A mute was walking down the street one day A mute was walking down the street one day and chanced upon a friend of his, also a mute. In sign language, he inquired how his friend had been doing. The friend replied (vocally!) “Oh, can that hand-waving shit. I can talk now.” Intrigued, the mute pressed him for details. Seems he had gone to […]...
6. Two men were walking along the street when Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, “I sure wish I could do that.” The other replied, “You can, but you’re probably going to have to pet him first.”...
7. A priest is walking down the street one day when A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer […]...
8. A necessary condition There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, “Can you make a sound like a frog, Grandpappy? Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, “No, I don’t really want to make the sound of a frog now.” So, the second little boy comes out and […]...
9. This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, “Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas.” “Sure,” he says and they were off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, “Is […]...
10. This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter’s hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog’s […]...
11. Commiting suicide A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, “You put it around your neck!” The […]...
12. Перевод слова stiff Stiff – жесткий, тугой, напряженный Перевод слова Stiff brush – жесткая щетка stiff smile – застывшая улыбка stiff penalty – строгое, суровое наказание He has a Stiff hand. У него рука онемела. A Stiff whisky for me. Мне виски покрепче. He was scared Stiff. Он оцепенел от страха....
13. Grandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sitting Grandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sitting on the veranda of the old folks home rocking back and forth in their rocking chairs. Grandpa Rabinowitz rocks forward in his chair and says to Grandma, “Fuck you!” Grandma Saperstein rocks forward in her chair and says to Grandpa, “Fuck you too!” Grandpa becomes very much excited […]...
14. Перевод слова waist Waist – талия Перевод слова Waist measurements – объем талии a slender waist – тонкая талия waist belt – поясной ремень, портупея She wore a belt around her Waist. Она повязывала пояс вокруг талии. He put his arm around her Waist. Он обнял ее за талию. He has a narrow Waist and broad shoulders. У […]...
15. When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physician examined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient’s wife […]...
16. An American was waiting on a London street corner An American was waiting on a London street corner. An attractive English girl was passing by when a gust of wind blew her dress above her waist. “A bit airy, isn’t it?” remarked the American. Hearing this, the Cockney girl replied indignantly, “‘Ell yes! What did you expect – feathers?!”...
17. One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the […]...
18. The couple was dining out when the wife noticed The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Elliot,” she said, pointing “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?” The husband looked over and nodded. “Well,” the woman continued, “he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!” The husband returned […]...
19. This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal and brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first arrived he got them a hotel room and as they were laying in bed she looked over in the corner and saw a discarded condom, “Oh yuck!!” she proclaimed as she ponted […]...
20. One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said […]...
21. Rooms in a House I don’t like cats. That’s not really true. I like cats, but they don’t like me. Last week, my friend Sara asked me To babysit her cat for two days while she was out of town. Normally, I would have said no, but she was In a jam, so I said okay. As I said, […]...
22. Значение идиомы neck [neck] See: BREATHE DOWN ONE’S NECK, BREAK ONE’S NECK, CATCH IT INTHE NECK or GET IT IN THE NECK, PAIN IN THE NECK, SAVE ONE’S NECK, STICK ONE’S NECK OUT....
23. Перевод идиомы the man in the street / the woman in the street / the person in the street, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: the man in the street / the woman in the street / the person in the street Перевод: обычный человек, обыватель, рядовой гражданин Пример: According to the man in the street the city government is not very popular. Согласно рядовому гражданину, городское правительство не очень-то популярно....
24. At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry a young girl of 20. Grandpa’s doctor tried to explain that at his age sex with a young girl could be dangerous, even fatal. Grandpa, not the slightest bit perturbed replied “Oh well, if she dies, I’ll just get myself another one.”...
25. A game of golf A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. “Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough,” replied his friend. “Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. […]...
26. Red shirt Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and […]...
27. Two hookers were on a street corner Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said, “Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air.” The other hooker looked at her and said, “No, I just burped.”...
28. Перевод слова shirt Shirt – рубашка, сорочка Перевод слова Check shirt – клетчатая рубашка flaxen shirt – льняная рубаха sports shirt – рубашка-поло Have you ironed my Shirt? Вы погладили мою рубашку? Tuck in your Shirt. Заправь рубаху. This Shirt is all worn out. Рубашка совсем износилась....
29. Значение идиомы neck of the woods [neck of the woods] {n. phr.}, {informal} Part of the country;place; neighborhood; vicinity. We visited Illinois and Iowa lastsummer; in that neck of the woods the corn really grows tall. Wewere down in your neck of the woods last week....
30. Значение идиомы break one’s neck [break one’s neck] {v. phr.}, {slang} To do all you possibly can; try your hardest. – Usually used with a limiting adverb or negative. John nearly broke his neck trying not to be late to school. Mother asked Mary to go to the store when she was free, but not to break her neck over […]...
31. Перевод слова neck Neck – шея Перевод слова To break the neck – свернуть шею up to the neck – по горло, по уши to break the neck of winter – оставить позади большую часть зимы nervy neck – мускулистая шея They Necked their Queen. Они отрубили голову своей королеве. She gave him a Neck massage. Она сделала […]...
32. A little girl was walking along a beach in California A little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper covering his genitals. The little girl said, “What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?” The man said, “Nothing, it’s just a bird, now go away!” The man thought nothing of […]...
33. Значение идиомы keep a stiff upper lip [keep a stiff upper lip] {v. phr.} To be brave; face troublebravely. He was very much worried about his sick daughter, but hekept a stiff upper lip. Although he was having some trouble withthe engine, the pilot kept a stiff upper lip and landed the planesafely. Compare: KEEP ONE’S CHIN UP....
34. A story with a morale A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper.” Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. “Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.” Confused, […]...
35. Two men were walking through the woods when Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bear slowly approached them. The […]...
36. As US tourists in Israel As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the […]...
37. Someone really stinks A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, “Now how can I tell my wife that I’ve got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I’ve managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she’s […]...
38. Fortunate ingenuity A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to […]...
39. This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above “You will live to be 100.” She looked around and didn’t see anyone. Again she heard “You will live to be 100.” Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I’ve got 40 more years […]...
40. This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.” “Hans Olaffsen?”, he thinks. “How in the world does that fit in here?” So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, “How in the world did this place […]...