A loving couple

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1. An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman’s doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again – the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live […]...
2. Перевод слова mistress Mistress – хозяйка, госпожа; учительница; любовница Перевод слова Mistress of the house – хозяйка дома mistress of the situation – хозяйка положения new English mistress – новая учительница английского kept mistress – содержанка She had always been Mistress of her own destiny. Она всегда была хозяйкой своей собственной судьбы. The Prince had shocked society by […]...
3. Перевод слова evasion Evasion – уклонение, отговорка Перевод слова Draft evasion – уклонение от отбывания воинской повинности evasion of law – обход закона evasion of tax – уклонение от уплаты налога The act was originally passed as a safeguard against tax Evasion. Этот закон был изначально принят для того, чтобы предотвратить уклонение от уплаты налогов. He took shelter […]...
4. Перевод слова income Income – доход Перевод слова After-tax income – доход после уплаты налогов, чистый доход aggregate national income – совокупный национальный доход annual income – годовой доход Costs outran her Income. Расходы превысили ее доходы. He spent his Income all on pleasure. Он тратил деньги только на развлечения. He gave away most of his Income. Он […]...
5. Перевод слова utter Utter – произносить; полный, абсолютный Перевод слова Utter ruin – полное разорение utter darkness – абсолютная темнота to utter a groan – издать стон, простонать to utter a declaration – сделать заявление The movie was Utter garbage. Фильм был полным отстоем. She Uttered a few words to them. Она сказала им несоклько слов. To my […]...
6. Giving Someone Your Recommendation Jimmy: My cousin Sal said that he Put in an application for a job here. Suzanne: Yeah, that’s right. Jimmy: Well? Suzanne: Well, what? Jimmy: Are you going To hire him? Suzanne: I’m not sure. He doesn’t have any experience and he didn’t provide any References. Jimmy: I can Vouch for him. Sal is Solid. […]...
7. Running a Pilot Program Rosalind: How is the Pilot program coming along? Jimmy: We’ll be ready To launch it in another month, but I have some serious Reservations. Rosalind: Like what? Jimmy: We haven’t Worked out all of the bugs yet and we might Come up against some Resistance from the community. Rosalind: Isn’t that the Nature of a […]...
8. One day a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stall One day a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stall. While he was on the toilet, he heard moaning coming from the stall next to him. He stood up to look over, and there was little Jimmy, sitting on the toilet masturbating. The priest was shocked. He told Jimmy that he knew […]...
9. Forming a Union Norma: What is this? Jimmy: It’s a Flyer for a meeting I’ve called to talk about forming a Labor union here. Norma: Here? Do you think the Management will let us? Jimmy: They can’t stop us. We’re working longer and longer hours and we need To demand higher pay. We also need better Work conditions […]...
10. Paycheck Deductions Bill: It’s about time! I’ve been waiting for my first Paycheck and now it’s finally here. I’m ready to party this weekend! Whoa! Carol: What’s the matter? Bill: What happened to all my money? The amount of this check is a lot less than I expected it to be. Carol: Yeah, my first paycheck was […]...
11. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. “Don’t worry,” he said, “Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.” So he went home feeling […]...
12. Believing in Scary Things Ella: No matter what you say, I am not going out tonight. It’s Halloween and EvilThings are Lurking everywhere. Jimmy: Come on, it’s Halloween! It’s the holiday when kids get Dressed up and ask for candy. There is nothing evil or Creepy about this day. If you’re Scared stiff, it’s Your own doing. Ella: Don’t […]...
13. An elderly couple walk into a doctor office An elderly couple walk into a doctor’s office. The man tells the doctor, “Doctor, we want to have a baby.” The doctor replies,”At your age I don’t think it’s possible, but I’ll give you a jar, come back in a few days with a sperm sample.” So the couple comes back a few days later. […]...
14. A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that […]...
15. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors office A couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” And he then charged […]...
16. Перевод слова couple Couple – пара, два, двое Перевод слова A couple of apples – два яблока in a couple of days – через два-три дня loving couple – любящая пара “Are they a Couple?”No, they are just good friends.” “Они пара?”Нет, они просто хорошие друзья.” They’re an odd Couple. Они странная парочка. We spent a Couple of […]...
17. Перевод слова afraid Afraid – испуганный, боящийся Перевод слова To be afraid of smth. – бояться чего-л. to make afraid – пугать to be half afraid – опасаться Don’t be Afraid to ask for help. Не бойтесь просить о помощи. I’m Afraid you’re wrong. Я боюсь, что вы неправы. I’m Afraid I’ve overdone the vegetables. Кажется, я переварил […]...
18. Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play. Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now? Bob: Darts? Bill: Nah. Bob: Shoot some pool? Bill: Nah. Bob: Cards? Bill: Nah. Hey, I’ve got an […]...
19. Ne day, this man, Tony, died One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could […]...
20. Candidate Clinton vs President Clinton Candidate Bill Clinton: Cut taxes for middle class President Bill Clinton: Wants to raise them Candidate Bill Clinton: Vowed not to tamper with Social Security President Bill Clinton: Wants to tax more SS benefits Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed energy tax cuts President Bill Clinton: Wants energy tax increases Candidate Bill Clinton: Claimed he had the […]...
21. Перевод слова community Community – община, сообщество Перевод слова The scientific community – научный мир community feeling – чувство принадлежности к данному сообществу community affairs – вопросы местного самоуправления He is a respectable member of the Community. Он уважаемый член общества. They hoped to join the NATO Community. Они надеялись вступить в блок НАТО. We know that Community […]...
22. Значение идиомы force one’s hand [force one’s hand] {v. phr.} To make you do something or tell whatyou will do sooner than planned. Ben did not want to tell where hewas going, but his friend forced his hand. Mr. Smith planned tokeep his land until prices went up, but he had so many doctor billsthat it forced his hand....
23. Paying an Employee Under the Table Martin: I’m confused. I’ve been Going over the books and I don’t see several members of the Staff listed and Accounted for. Jina: Oh, I have a special arrangement with a few of them. I pay them Under the table. Martin: Are you sure that’s wise? You could Get busted for Tax evasion. Jina: No […]...
24. An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession: Man: Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18 year old. Father: When was the last time you made a […]...
25. Значение идиомы can’t help but [can’t help but] {informal} also {formal} [cannot but] {v. phr.} To be forced to; can only; must. When the streets are full of melting snow, you can’t help but get your shoes wet. When a friend gave Jim a ticket to the game, he couldn’t help but go. When a close friend dies, you cannot […]...
26. A local United Way office realized that A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like […]...
27. An affair with the horse Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.” His second friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with […]...
28. Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends. One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess. He went into the confession booth and told the Father, “Father, I have sinned. I have committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me.” The Father said, “Tell me who […]...
29. Jokes about Ireland 2 Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. “What’s wrong, Seamus?” Joey-Jim asked. “Well didn’t ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?” said Seamus. “Ah, praise the Almighty!” he replied with relief. “I thought I’d […]...
30. Choking a girlfriend The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Sunday, November 29, 1992 The Ontario Press Council dismissed a complaint filed by Allan Sorensen against the Toronto Sun, which had reported that Sorenson had choked his ex-girlfriend. Sorensen’s complaint was that […]...
31. Investing Your Money Karen: My company offers a 401(k) plan. Do you think I should have one? Jimmy: Yes, definitely. I had a 401(k) account when I worked for McQ Corp, and when I started working on my own I converted it to an IRA. Karen: I really don’t understand any of these Investment options. I talked to […]...
32. Fake two dollar bill On my way home from the second job I’ve taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a […]...
33. GIRL’S CONFESSION GIRL’S CONFESSION The priest leaned closer to hear the girl’s confession. “So me and my cousin were alone in the house,” she continued, “and went up to my bedroom…” “Go on, my child,” said the priest gently. “I lay down on the bed and Joe got on top of me and put his hand on […]...
34. Bad news and awful news One morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side, it had snowed during the night and everything was covered in snow. He looks down and sees something written in urine on the lawn it reads “I hope YoU GeT ImPeAcHeD”. Bill calls the FBI and says “Someone has written “I hope you get impeached” […]...
35. Значение идиомы leave in the lurch [leave in the lurch] {v. phr.} To desert or leave alone in trouble;refuse to help or support. The town bully caught Eddie, and Tomleft him in the lurch. Bill quit his job, leaving his boss in thelurch. Compare: LEAVE FLAT, HIGH AND DRY, WALK OUT....
36. A strange kind of robbery Jim had been out on the town with a dazzling blonde, and he was returning home as the rosy tints of dawn began to color the skies. Marshaling all his inner resources, he managed an air of sobriety and dignity before the suspicious eye and wagging tongue of his wife. Suddenly, as he was undressing, […]...
37. Two neighbors had been fighting each other Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. After about a year […]...
38. Значение идиомы make no bones [make no bones] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To have no doubts; not toworry about right or wrong; not to be against. – Used with “about”. Bill makes no bones about telling a lie to escape punishment. Theboss made no bones about hiring extra help for the holidays. 2. Tomake no secret; not keep from talking; […]...
39. Перевод слова force Force – сила, мощь; заставлять, принуждать Перевод слова With all one’s force – изо всех сил the force of circumstances – сила обстоятельств to force a confession – вынудить признание to force an entry – ворваться, вломиться Peace cannot be imposed by Force. Мир не может быть навязан силой. In both these two reasons there […]...
40. After years of psychotherapy After years of psychotherapy, John no longer believes he is a grain of wheat. However, one day he and a friend came across a chicken, and John was terrified. “Why are you so afraid, you’re not a grain of wheat after all,” his friend asked. John replied, “You know it and I know it, but […]...