A life-long city man, tired of the rat race

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1. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to […]...
2. Want some chicken? A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken […]...
3. Excerpts from the rural life A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “Ok, old fellow, time to retire.” The old rooster says “You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!” The young rooster replies, “Now, […]...
4. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. “Hey kid!” the farmer says. “Where ya goin’ with that wire?” “Well,” the kid drawls, “this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s […]...
5. A city boy was visiting the country and A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy […]...
6. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s […]...
7. A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night, the farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife’s breast a little feel and says,”Mother, if this could give milk, we could get rid of the cow.” His hand then travels down to her crotch, and he says, “Mother, if this […]...
8. Man Comes To Realize His Puppies Aren’t Puppies After All A farmer in China bought two “good-looking pups” from a man who said they’d make good watch dogs. For two years he raised the little black puppies, grooming their coarse hair and feeding them ample quantities of food. Their appetites were huge and getting larger by the day… One weird thing about the dogs was […]...
9. Jokes about Dumb Irishmen The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. […]...
10. Перевод слова city City – город, большой город Перевод слова To live in the city – жить в городе capital city – столица free city – вольный город in the core of the city – в самом сердце города City life is not for me. Городская жизнь не для меня. The City was dimmed-out. Улицы в городе были […]...
11. Fluffy died This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbor is going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow […]...
12. Briefly about City & Guilds – Кратко о City & Guilds Examination City & Guilds is based in 1878. The organization is under protection Royal family of the Great Britain and is one of the leading commissions of the Europe. From the beginning tested only Englishmen, them estimated on 400 qualifications. However now this examination was recognized with 100 countries of the world, examined test on […]...
13. You could Feed them a lot Faster There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would […]...
14. A caring son It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. “Hey Willis!!” the farmer yelled. “Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up.” “That’s mighty nice of you, ” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like […]...
15. A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: “They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!” The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly […]...
16. Jokes of science 03 Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side. Why did the chicken cross the road? Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads. A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender […]...
17. These Chickens want Books A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, ‘Buk Buk BUK.’ The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them…and the chickens leave shortly thereafter. Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,’ Buk Buk BuKKOOK!’ […]...
18. A miserable rooster A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes […]...
19. Country and City – Деревня или город People are always wondering whether the country or the city is the ideal place to live. If there is one preference-which I take leave to make a conclusion-then it is the country rather than the city that provides people with optimal living conditions. There widespread testimonies for it and the primary ones are listed as […]...
20. Значение идиомы life [life] See: BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH, BIG AS LIFE, CAT HAS NINELIVES, CHARMED LIFE, COME ALIVE OT COME TO LIFE, FACTS OF LIFE, FORDEAR LIFE, FOR THE LIFE OF ONE, LEAD A DOG’S LIFE, NIGHT LIFE, NOT ONYOUR LIFE OR ONE’S LIFE, TAKE ONE’S LIFE IN ONE’S HANDS, TIME OF ONE’SLIFE, YOU BET or YOU […]...
21. New weapon Chicken Gun Flash – New Weapon in America’s Arsenal – Dubbed ‘The Chicken Gun’ Senate majority leader Howard H. Baker Jr., expressed astonishment to the Senate, over recent news accounts of an Air Force “chicken gun.” It seems the gun is a converted 20-foot cannon capable of hurling dead four-pound chickens at airplanes at 700 miles per […]...
22. A talking horse A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. “Yes sir, I’m a fine horse. I’ve run in 25 races and won over??5 million. I keep my […]...
23. Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. “Sure,” said the farmer, “my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 […]...
24. City & Guilds Centre in My Town – Центр City & Guilds в моем городе City & Guilds is one of the oldest and very well known British Examination Board and works about 130 years. It offers more than 500 qualifications exams. City & Guilds certificates are recognized in many countries around the world. In Stary Oskol City & Guilds centre has started in April 2005 and since that over […]...
25. Значение идиомы go to bed with the chickens [go to bed with the chickens] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go to bedearly at night. On the farm John worked hard and went to bed withthe chickens. Mr. Barnes goes to bed with the chickens because hehas to get up at 5 A. M....
26. Перевод слова farmer Farmer – фермер Перевод слова Cattle farmer – скотовод, владелец животноводческой фермы collective farmer – колхозник truck farmer – огородник They work for a Farmer. Они работают у фермера. The Farmer cut at the snake with a stick. Фермер ударил змею палкой. The Farmer hitched the cart to his best horse. Фермер впряг в телегу […]...
27. Жизнь в деревне/ Life In The Countryside На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Life In The Countryside Жизнь в деревне I have always wanted to spend more time in the countryside. My family and I live in the suburbs of a big city. My grandparents live in the village not far from us. We often visit them and in summertime I […]...
28. A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he’s been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female. “No! I’m not doing it anymore!” […]...
29. A farmer walked into an attorney office A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.” The attorney said, “well do you have any grounds?” The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.” The attorney said, ” No, […]...
30. Harry and his wife are driving in the country Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, “Cow For Sale…$5000.” He pulls in and says to the farmer, “There’s no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars.” The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this.” He lifts the cow’s tail, and Harry sees […]...
31. A wise choice The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer with a bodily injury claim. It came from a Houston, Texas insurance agent. Attorney: “At the scene of the accident, did you tell the constable you had never felt better in your life?” Farmer: “That’s right.” Attorney: “Well, then, how is it […]...
32. This lady who was living in New York City had to get back This lady who was living in New York City had to get back to her old country but she was broke. One day she wandered down to the docks and spotted a worker getting ready to load supplies onto a boat. “Please I need to get back to England” she pleaded. “If you sneak me […]...
33. The corporate boat race An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became […]...
34. Значение идиомы chickens come home to roost [chickens come home to roost] {informal} Words or acts come back to cause trouble for a person; something bad you said or did receives punishment; you get the punishment that you deserve. Fred’s chickens finally came home to roost today. He was late so often that the teacher made him go to the principal. – […]...
35. Перевод слова chicken Chicken – курица, курятина Перевод слова Casseroled chicken – запеченный цыпленок chicken manure – куриный помет chicken coop – курятник Don’t be such a Chicken! Не будь таким трусом! We cooked a whole Chicken. Мы варили курицу целиком. We barbecued Chicken and ribs. Мы жарили на гриле курицу и ребра....
36. Buinsk My native city and its people – Буинск Мой родной город и его люди The historic city of Buinsk is one of the most important cultural and economic centres of the Republic of Tatarstan. This hospitable city has extended a warm welcome to all quests ever since its foundation in 1780. Today, the city is entering a new period in its long life, but one that is characterised, at […]...
37. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.” “No problem,” […]...
38. City & Guilds для нас – City & Guilds for us English is a worldwide language. Nowadays knowing of English is very important aspect to get a good job in Russia. Knowledge of English gives you additional chance to find a well-paid job in the time of crisis. But it`s impossible to know the quality of English without a special certificate. That`s why more and more […]...
39. Значение идиомы inner city [inner city] {n.}, {colloquial} Densely populated neighborhoods inlarge metropolitan areas inhabited by low income families usually ofminority backgrounds, such as Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, or AfricanAmericans; characterized by slums and government-owned high rises. Joe comes from the inner city – he may need help with his reading....
40. Значение идиомы sweep the city [sweep the city] or [country] or [nation] or [world] {v. phr.} Togain great attention or popularity throughout the city, country, etc. Pavarotti’s unmatched tenor voice swept the world in anunprecedented manner....