A couple married forty years were revisiting the

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1. Forty years later, they’re in the same hotel room Forty years later, they’re in the same hotel room they spent their honeymoon in. She takes off her clothes, lies down on the bed, spreads her legs… Her husband looks at her and he begins to weep uncontrollably. She says, “What’s the matter?” He says, “Forty years ago, I couldn’t wait to eat it, and […]...
2. A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, “What’s the matter?” He says, “Thirty years ago I couldn’t wait to eat it. Now it […]...
3. Перевод слова forty Forty – сорок, сороковой Перевод слова There were forty of them – их было сорок a man of forty – сорокалетний человек forty times as much – в сорок раз больше Chapter forty – сороковая глава She is in her Forties. Ей за сорок. The well was Forty feet deep. Глубина колодца составляла 40 футов. […]...
4. An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman’s doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again – the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live […]...
5. There was an old married couple that had happily There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband’s habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she […]...
6. Перевод идиомы up in years / advanced in years / along in years / on in years, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: up in years / advanced in years / along in years / on in years Перевод: старый, пожилой Пример: Although our grandparents are up in years they still have much energy. Хоть наши дедушка и бабушка уже пожилые, они все еще полны энергии....
7. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. “Don’t worry,” he said, “Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.” So he went home feeling […]...
8. A young couple gets married, and the groom A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000. She confronts […]...
9. A couple have not been getting along for years A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.” Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything. She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?” […]...
10. Значение идиомы forty winks [forty winks] {n. phr.}, {informal} A short period of sleep; a nap. When the truck driver felt sleepy, he stopped by the side of theroad to catch forty winks. Compare: SHUT-EYE....
11. A young couple got married, and in their family A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between […]...
12. Перевод идиомы take / catch / have forty winks, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: take / catch / have forty winks Перевод: соснуть ненадолго, немного вздремнуть Пример: I was very tired so I decided to catch forty winks. Я был очень уставшим, поэтому я решил немного вздремнуть....
13. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat […]...
14. A company in the Foreign Legion had spent three years A company in the Foreign Legion had spent three years in the Sahara desert never having seen a woman. They finally decide to send one private on vacation to the nearest town to spend some time with a woman and tell them all about it. After a week the private comes back all happy and […]...
15. An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon. They were in bed getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said I should tell you I have acute angina The old man says I hope so, you sure don’t have cute tits....
16. Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to […]...
17. There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son’s room and says “Son do you remember that session I arranged for you […]...
18. An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman’s head. “Yech!” says the woman. “Get some toilet paper.” “What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now.”...
19. The couple was dining out when the wife noticed The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Elliot,” she said, pointing “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?” The husband looked over and nodded. “Well,” the woman continued, “he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!” The husband returned […]...
20. Married life is very frustrating Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen....
21. Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. “So, how’s life been for you?” Ed asked. “Not too good,” Ted replied. “My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son’s in prison for […]...
22. Karam Chand, 110, believed to be longest-married dies The couple were married in 1925 and they have eight children and 27 grandchildren. A man who was one half of what is believed to be the longest-married couple in the UK has died aged 110. Karam Chand, of Bradford, died on Friday after 90 years of marriage to his wife Kartari. The pair, who […]...
23. Значение идиомы make no bones [make no bones] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To have no doubts; not toworry about right or wrong; not to be against. – Used with “about”. Bill makes no bones about telling a lie to escape punishment. Theboss made no bones about hiring extra help for the holidays. 2. Tomake no secret; not keep from talking; […]...
24. Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, “Mama! I […]...
25. An old italian couple is walking around in the mall An old italian couple is walking around in the mall. After a while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and ask: “Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He’s got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?” The saleswoman answers that she hasn’t seen her […]...
26. Just like my wife A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my […]...
27. Значение идиомы along in years [along in years] or [on in years] {adj. phr.} Elderly; growing old. As Grandfather got on in years, he became quiet and thoughtful. Our dog isn’t very playful because it is getting on in years....
28. Значение идиомы on the fence [on the fence] {adj.} or {adv. phr.} Not able, or not wanting tochoose; in doubt; undecided. – Often used with “sit”. Jack sat onthe fence for a week last spring before he finally joined the trackteam instead of the baseball team. Mrs. Jones has decided to votefor the Democrats, but Mr. Jones is still on […]...
29. Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married, Merry Christmas to you, and please don’t worry. I’m just fine considering I can’t breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I’ve sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I […]...
30. A young married woman A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, “Do you talk to your husband when you’re making love?” She thought about it a minute then said, “Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now.”...
31. Значение идиомы bone [bone] See: BRED IN THE BONE, FEEL IN ONE’S BONES or KNOW IN ONE’S BONES, FUNNY BONE, MAKE NO BONES, SKIN AND BONES, T-BONE STEAK, WORK ONE’S FINGERS TO THE BONE....
32. This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to […]...
33. Перевод слова immediately Immediately – непосредственно, немедленно Перевод слова In the years immediately ahead – в ближайшие годы it does not affect me immediately – это меня непосредственно не касается to reply immediately – моментально реагировать They fell to work Immediately. Они сразу взялись за работу. The police Immediately ringed the building. Полиция в один момент окружила здание. […]...
34. Значение идиомы skin and bones [skin and bones] {n.} A person or animal that is very thin; someonevery skinny. The puppy is healthy now, but when we found him he wasjust skin and bones. Have you been dieting? You’re nothing butskin and bones!...
35. World’s oldest man, a Holocaust survivor in Israel, to celebrate bar mitzvah 100 years late JERUSALEM (JTA) – The world’s oldest man, 113-year-old Yisrael Kristal, a Holocaust survivor living in Israel, will celebrate his bar mitzvah. Kristal’s daughter, Shulimath Kristal Kuperstoch, told the DPA news agency that about 100 family members will gather in Kristal’s home city of Haifa in the coming weeks to mark the rite. “We will bless […]...
36. Значение идиомы feel in one’s bones [feel in one’s bones] or [know in one’s bones] {v. phr.} To have anidea or feeling but not know why. I feel in my hones that tomorrowwill be a sunny day. I know in my bones that God will protect us....
37. After the party, as the couple was driving home After the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her husband, “Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?” The flattered husband said, “No, dear they haven’t.” The wife yells, “Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?”...
38. A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, “Please be gentle… I am still a virgin.” The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married twice…” The bride responds… […]...
39. Перевод идиомы feel something in one’s bones / know something in one’s bones, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: feel something in one’s bones / know something in one’s bones Перевод: интуитивно чувствовать что-либо, предчувствовать что-либо Пример: I feel it in my bones that I will win the lottery this month. У меня такое чувство, что в этом месяце я выиграю лотерею....
40. Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets of calcutta when an old woman walked by. “Hey, Billy Joe,” one said, “I think that’s Mother Teresa.” “Your nuts.” “I’m telling you.” They approached the woman and one asked, “Are you Mother Teresa?” The old lady eyed them scornfully. “Fuck off, you goddamn perverts,” she hissed, […]...