A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over

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1. An eight year old boy is walking down the road one dayAn eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him. «If you get in the car,» the driver says, «I’ll give you $10 and a piece of candy.» The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A few moments later, not to take no for an ... Читать далее...
2. A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and outA policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. «I can’t do that, officer.» «Why not?» «Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.» «Okay, we’ll just get a ... Читать далее...
3. A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain roadA man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, «Pig!» The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, «Bitch!» They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next ... Читать далее...
4. Значение идиомы road test[road test] {n.} 1. A test to see if you can drive a car. Jimtook the road test and got his driver’s license last week. 2. A testto see if a car works all right on the road. Most new cars aregiven road tests before they are put on the market. After herepaired the car, ... Читать далее...
5. Your hair smells niceA man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor’s office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, «What’s wrong with the coworker ... Читать далее...
6. A guy was driving down the road in his YugoA guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, «Excuse me, but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?» The ... Читать далее...
7. Test for being drunkA police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, «Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.» The man says, «Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have ... Читать далее...
8. A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditchA man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn’t usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help. As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, «You know, you ... Читать далее...
9. Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum withLittle Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on, standing in front of him, he looks up at her private parts he asks «What’s that mum? » His mum frozen tried to think what to say, finally she came up with the following, «That’s where your dad accidentially hit me ... Читать далее...
10. This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a buildingThis guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign «Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.» «Hans Olaffsen?», he thinks. «How in the world does that fit in here?» So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, «How in the world did this place ... Читать далее...
11. Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the roadLittle Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. «My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf», says Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time ... Читать далее...
12. A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeksA trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, «I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!!» The Madam is astonished. «But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of ... Читать далее...
13. A Lutheran minister is driving downA Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, «Sir, have you been drinking?» And the minister says, «Just water.» The ... Читать далее...
14. A man is driving down the road for a long period of timeA man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,»Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. ... Читать далее...
15. I trust you that you paidA man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is donem the bartender tells him he owes $9.00. «But I paid, don’t you remember?» says the customer. «Okay,» says the bartender, «If you said you paid, you did.» The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees ... Читать далее...
16. Harry and his wife are driving in the countryHarry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, «Cow For Sale…$5000.» He pulls in and says to the farmer, «There’s no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars.» The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this.» He lifts the cow’s tail, and Harry sees ... Читать далее...
17. A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-RoyceA guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, «Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!» The driver of Rolls looks ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод идиомы road hog, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: road hog Перевод: дорожный хам (человек, занимающий большую часть дороги и мешающий проезду) Пример: «Look at that road hog driving in the middle of the road and stopping other drivers from passing him.» Посмотри на этого чудака, едет посередине дороги и не дает другим водителям обогнать его....
19. A man walks into a friend and seesA man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, «What’s happened to your car?» «Well,» the friend responses, «I ran into a lawyer». «OK,» says the man, «that explains the blood… But what about the leaves, ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы road[road] See: ALL ROADS LEAD TO ROME, BURN UP THE ROAD, END OF THEROAD, GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD, HIT THE ROAD, HUG THE ROAD, MIDDLE OFTHE ROAD, ON THE ROAD....
21. This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little JohnnyThis guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter’s hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog’s ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод идиомы get the show on the road / get this show on the road, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: get the show on the road / get this show on the road Перевод: начать (работу), приступить к выполнению (работы, программы) Пример: «Let’s get the show on the road and begin work for the day.» Давайте приступим к выполнению работы на сегодняшний день....
23. Перевод слова roadRoad — дорога, путь, направление Перевод слова Dusty road — пыльная дорога road embankment — дорожная насыпь equipment for road construction — оборудование для дорожного строительства at a fork in the road — на распутье Are we on the right Road? Мы по той дороге едем? Redd the Road! Дорогу! The college is easily accessible ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы on the road[on the road] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Traveling; moving from oneplace to another. When we go on vacation, we take a lunch to eatwhile on the road. Mr. Smith is on the road for his insurancecompany. 2. Changing; going from one condition to another. Marywas very sick for several weeks, but now she is ... Читать далее...
25. He is extremely drunkLate one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. «Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven ... Читать далее...
26. An offenseLate one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. «Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven ... Читать далее...
27. A man goes to a psychiatristA man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatrist suggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds up the first picture and asks the man what he sees. «A man and a woman making love in a park,» the man replies. The psychiatrist holds up the second picture and asks the ... Читать далее...
28. Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, oneThree guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы hug the road[hug the road] {v. phr.} To stay firmly on the road; ride smoothlywithout swinging. A heavy car with a low center of gravity will hugthe road. At high speeds a car will not hug the road well....
30. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits downA blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. «I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы hit the road[hit the road] {v. phr.}, {slang} 1. To become a wanderer; to livean idle life; become a tramp or hobo. When Jack’s wife left him, hefelt a desire to travel, so he hit the road. 2. To leave, especiallyin a car. It is getting late, so I guess we will hit the road forhome. He ... Читать далее...
32. A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks himA policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, «Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?» The man gets really indignant and says, «Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. ... Читать далее...
33. Juggler, driving to his next performanceJuggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. ‘What are those knives doing in your car?’ asked the officer. ‘I juggle them in my act.’ Oh yeah?’ says the cop. ‘Let’s see you do it.’ So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, ... Читать далее...
34. Soap dispenserTwo priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has some soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы burn up the road[burn up the road] {v. phr.}, {informal} To drive a car very fast. In his eagerness to see his girl again, he burned up the road on his way to see her. Speed demons burning up the road often cause accidents....
36. The hunting seasonThis truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying «NERDS NOT ALLOWED — ENTER AT OWN RISK!» He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks ... Читать далее...
37. Working on the roadA fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then ... Читать далее...
38. Save the dead rabbitA man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side ... Читать далее...
39. A woman visits her physicianA woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it’s finally her turn. She enters the doctors’ office and sits down. The PhD asks her: «Well, what can I do for you madam?». The patient blushes and the PhD sees that apparently she is embarrassed so he says: «You can discuss any matter with ... Читать далее...
40. Hair sprayA man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side ... Читать далее...