A construction worker was whistling

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1. A construction worker goes to the doctor and says A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I’m constipated.” The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, “Lean over the table.” The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the bathroom. He comes out a […]...
2. Construction Worker Hides Waldo On Site For Kids In Hospital Next Door One man is helping kids find a little joy. Jason Haney, a construction foreman, hides a life-size cutout he made of Where’s Waldo on site every day for kids who are staying at a hospital next door to find. “It’s just for the kids to get their minds off of things,”Haney told The Huffington Post. […]...
3. A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his Wet Willy in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, “Stop! […]...
4. Перевод слова construction Construction – сооружение, строительство Перевод слова Modular construction – модульная конструкция machinery construction – машиностроение dam construction project – проект по строительству плотины The new skyscraper is under Construction. Строится новый небоскреб. We both heard what he said, but she put quite a different Construction on it. Мы все слышали его слова, но она истолковала […]...
5. Перевод слова worker Worker – работник, трудящийся, сотрудник Перевод слова Factory and office workers – рабочие и служащие brain worker – работник умственного труда fellow worker – сотрудник, сослуживец She is a very responsible Worker. Она – очень ответственный работник. The Worker bee is neuter. Рабочая пчела бесплодна. The Worker was dismissed for laziness. Рабочего уволили за лень. […]...
6. Visiting a Construction Site Bill: Ma’am! ma’am! Estelle: Yes? Bill: Ma’am, you’re not supposed to be here. This is a Construction site and you’re not allowed. Please don’t step on that Scaffolding. It’s dangerous. Estelle: Oh, I just wanted a quick look to see how the building is Coming along. Look at all this Lumber and Brick. The Foundation […]...
7. Two Italian construction workers Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other “hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?” pointing to the supervisor. The other says, “I don’t know, go ask him.” So Guido goes up to the […]...
8. A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl’s feet. “What’s this,” […]...
9. Значение идиомы under construction [under construction] {adv. phr.} In the process of being built orrepaired. It is a good idea to take the train to work while theexpressway is under construction....
10. Значение идиомы blue collar worker [blue collar worker] {n. phr.} A manual laborer who is probably a labor union member. Because Jack’s father is a blue collar worker, Jack was so anxious to become an intellectual. Contrast: WHITE COLLAR WORKER....
11. Brain or muscles? The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said. […]...
12. Перевод идиомы under construction, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: under construction Перевод: в процессе строительства, строящийся Пример: The hotel was still under construction, two years after it began. Через два года после начала строительства, гостиница все еще строилась....
13. A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: “So, where y’all from?” The New York girl said, “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.” The […]...
14. Paying bills Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard, ” replied the smirking male clerk. “That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all over his […]...
15. One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, “I did that by accident.” She replied, “I know that, daddy.” He replied, “How’d you know?” The girl said, “Because you didn’t say ‘ASSHOLE!’ afterwards!”...
16. Passing a parrot A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same […]...
17. A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, “Pig!” The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, “Bitch!” They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next […]...
18. Перевод слова ugly Ugly – уродливый, безобразный, противный Перевод слова Ugly clothes – некрасивая одежда ugly building – уродливое здание ugly habits – скверные привычки He has an Ugly disposition. У него отвратительный характер. Jealousy is an Ugly emotion. Ревность – это неприятное чувство. The prince was transformed into an Ugly animal. Принц был превращен в ужасного дикого […]...
19. Clean Jokes about Ireland An American and an Irishman were enjoying a ride in the country when they came upon an unusual sight – an old gallows. The American thought he would have a joke on his Irish companion. “You see that, I reckon,” said he to the Irishman, pointing to the gallows. “And now where would you be […]...
20. Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, “F. F.” His wife turned to him and answered, “E. F.” Out on the highway, he […]...
21. Barry took a girl out on her first date Barry took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, “My mother told me to say no to everything.” “Well,” Barry said, “do you mind if I put my arm around you?” “No,” the girl replied. “Do you mind if I put my […]...
22. Last Lunch Three steel workers were having lunch at the construction site, a 20 story building. The first worker is Italian and when he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, “Oh, no, if I have to eat spaghetti for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.” The second […]...
23. The last request Father O’Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears. “What’s bothering you so, dear?” inquired Farther O’Grady. “Oh, father, I’ve got terrible news.” Replied Mary. “Well what is it, Mary?” “Well, my husband, passed away last night, […]...
24. A little girl was walking along a beach in California A little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper covering his genitals. The little girl said, “What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?” The man said, “Nothing, it’s just a bird, now go away!” The man thought nothing of […]...
25. At a grocery store A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, “No.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Monica, we just have […]...
26. One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the […]...
27. Drawing God A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God […]...
28. What God looks like A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows […]...
29. A little girl came running into the house crying A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. “Why do you want cider?” asked Mom. “To take the pain away,” sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little […]...
30. An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor’s office. “We have come for an examination,” said the young girl. “Alright,” said the doctor. “Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.” “No, not me,” said the girl. “it’s my old aunt here.” “Very well,” said the doctor. “Madam, stick […]...
31. A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said. “Can we leave now?” “No,” her mother replied. “Well, I think I have to throw up!” “Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.” […]...
32. New Minnesota Vikings stadium construction cost more than NASA’s trip to Pluto The cost to construct NFL stadiums has reached an astronomical level – literally. Pat Kessler of CBS Minnesota recently pointed out a mind-blowing fact: The construction of the Minnesota Vikings’ new stadium is a more costly project than the space probe NASA sent to Pluto. The Vikings’ new home, recently christened U. S. Bank Stadium, […]...
33. A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. “Your organ,” she […]...
34. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]...
35. Purchasing a New Bird After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on […]...
36. Ne day, this man, Tony, died One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could […]...
37. A famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditorium A famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditorium full of students one night. He began to speak in a soft and steady voice over the loud-speaker system. “Listen to the sound of my voice…”, he kept repeating, “the sound of my voice… every word is a command… the sound of my voice…” Pretty soon, […]...
38. Перевод слова terrible Terrible – ужасный, кошмарный, жуткий Перевод слова Terrible flirt – ужасная кокетка terrible nightmare – страшный сон terrible ordeal – ужасное испытание Rick’s a Terrible gossip. Рик ужасный сплетник. A Terrible rage possessed her. Страшный гнев овладел ею. His death will be a Terrible blow. Его смерть будет страшным ударом....
39. Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. “So, how’s life been for you?” Ed asked. “Not too good,” Ted replied. “My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son’s in prison for […]...
40. Jokes about St. Patrick’s Day Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy “Jez, that look like Sean” to which Paddy replied “No Sean was taller than that” It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride […]...