A caring son

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1. Perot cornTwo farmers were talking at the general store. One farmer says to the other, «Did you hear about that new variety of corn called Perot corn?» The second farmer replies,»No I ain’t.» The first farmer says, «Yeah, it’s a big yielding variety. The stalk don’t grow too big, but the ears are tremendous!»...
2. You could Feed them a lot FasterThere was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would ... Читать далее...
3. Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the countrySeems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. «Sure,» said the farmer, «my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 ... Читать далее...
4. A bus filled with politicians was driving through theA bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians he buries them. The next ... Читать далее...
5. A horse and a rabbitA horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes ... Читать далее...
6. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadowA horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова noiseNoise — шум, гам, галдеж Перевод слова Noise density — интенсивность шума noise control — борьба с шумом constant, persistent noise — постоянный, вечный, непрекращающийся шум deafening noise — оглушительный шум What Noise was that? Что это был за шум? Hold your Noise! Перестаньте шуметь! I heard a weird Noise. Я услышал странный шум....
8. Travel with a horseAn out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, «Pull, Nellie, pull!» Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, «Pull, Buster, pull!» Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer ... Читать далее...
9. Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the southMike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south when he decided he wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with ... Читать далее...
10. A life-long city man, tired of the rat raceA life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a ... Читать далее...
11. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty lifeA blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to ... Читать далее...
12. A wise choiceThe following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer with a bodily injury claim. It came from a Houston, Texas insurance agent. Attorney: «At the scene of the accident, did you tell the constable you had never felt better in your life?» Farmer: «That’s right.» Attorney: «Well, then, how is it ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы fix someone’s wagon[fix someone’s wagon] or [fix someone’s little red wagon] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. to administer aspanking. Stop that right away or I’ll fix your wagon! 2. to thwart or frustrate another, toengineer his failure. If he sues me for slander, I will counter-suehim for malicious prosecution. That will fix his wagon!...
14. A city boy was visiting the country andA city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy ... Читать далее...
15. Humor about the Stupid IrishHiggins lived in Staten Island, New York, and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, So Higgins decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. When ... Читать далее...
16. Want some chicken?A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken ... Читать далее...
17. Noisy stuffRadar: «Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.» Pilot: «Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?» Radar: «Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?»...
18. Перевод слова loadLoad — загрузка, груз, ноша, грузить Перевод слова To bear a heavy load — нести тяжелый груз pile bears load — свая несет нагрузку to load a camera — зарядить фотоаппарат working load — рабочая нагрузка His Load impeded him. Ноша обременяла его. He Loaded his gun carefully Он осторожно зарядил свое ружье. It took ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова farmerFarmer — фермер Перевод слова Cattle farmer — скотовод, владелец животноводческой фермы collective farmer — колхозник truck farmer — огородник They work for a Farmer. Они работают у фермера. The Farmer cut at the snake with a stick. Фермер ударил змею палкой. The Farmer hitched the cart to his best horse. Фермер впряг в телегу ... Читать далее...
20. A farmer walked into an attorney officeA farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, «May I help you?» The farmer said, «Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.» The attorney said, «well do you have any grounds?» The farmer said, «Yea, I got about 140 acres.» The attorney said, » No, ... Читать далее...
21. Learn it by listeningTwo cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, «You see that Indian?» «Yeah,» says the other cowboy. «Look,» says the first one, «he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.» Just ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы on the wagon[on the wagon] {adv. phr.} Participating in an alcohol addictionprogram; not touching any alcoholic beverage. Jim’s doctor and hisfamily finally managed to convince him that he was an alcoholic andshould go on the wagon. Contrast: FALL OFF THE WAGON....
23. Значение идиомы hitch one’s wagon to a star[hitch one’s wagon to a star] {v. phr.} To aim high; follow a greatambition or purpose, In trying to be a famous pianist, Mary hadhitched her wagon to a star. John hitched his wagon to a star anddecided to try to become President....
24. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy manA lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, «There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.» «No problem,» ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова cornCorn — зерно, зернышко, кукуруза Перевод слова Corn bread — хлеб из кукурузы, маисовый хлеб corn chowder — похлебка из злаков corn of salt — крупинка соли Corn doesn’t grow here. Кукуруза здесь не растет. All our chickens are fed on Corn. Всех наших кур кормят кукурузой. The Corn is ground into meal. Зерно перемалывается ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод слова nearbyNearby — ближний, поблизости, неподалеку Перевод слова Nearby farmhouse — соседняя ферма nearby galaxies — ближайшие галактики nearby trail — близкий след Do you live Nearby? Вы живете поблизости? There’s good sport to be had at a Nearby lake. На близлежащем озере можно хорошо порыбачить. Jews were expelled from Vienna, many to settle in the ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы get a load of[get a load of] {v. phr.}, {slang} 1. To take a good look at; see — Often used to show surprise oradmiration. Get a load of that pretty girl! Get a load ofDick’s new car! Compare: LOOK OVER. 2. To listen to carefully or withinterest, especially exciting news. — Often used as a command: Get ... Читать далее...
28. Excerpts from the rural lifeA farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says «Ok, old fellow, time to retire.» The old rooster says «You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!» The young rooster replies, «Now, ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы all but[all but] {adv. phr.} Very nearly; almost. Crows all but destroyed a farmer’s field of corn. The hikers were exhausted and all but frozen when they were found....
30. Перевод слова farmFarm — ферма; сельскохозяйственный Перевод слова Poultry farm — птицеферма farm tenure — условия аренды земли farm lobby — сельскохозяйственное лобби She grew up on a dairy Farm. Она выросла на молочной ферме. This Farm covers some 200 acres. Эта ферма простирается почти на 200 акров. The old Farm is a good mile from here. ... Читать далее...
31. And Badly-Behaved ChildrenJosephine: Hello. Ray: Hi, Josephine, it’s Ray. We have a meeting today at 10 a. m. and I was wondering if you would mind if I brought my kids with me. Their babysitter didn’t show up. Josephine: Oh, sure. That’s no problem. Your children are so Well-behaved. Even at their age, they have Impeccable manners. ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы airquake[airquake] {n.} An explosive noise of undetermined origin usually heard in coastal communities and appearing to come from some higher point in elevation. What was that awful noise just now? — I guess it must have been an airquake....
33. That is ONE!A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had growen tired of working so hard to build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it. So he thought it would be nice to get one of those mail order brides. Well he sent for one and on the day she was ... Читать далее...
34. Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheepFarmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local minister comes walking around the corner. The minister says, «My, Farmer Petrovich, you’re certainly giving that sheep a beating. You wouldn’t do that to your wife, would you?» The farmer says, «I would if she farted and jumped sideways every time I tried to ... Читать далее...
35. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
36. A ventriloquist was driving in the countryA ventriloquist was driving in the country when he was attracted to a large farm. He asked for and was given a tour. As he was shown through the barn, the ventriloquist thought he’d have some fun. He proceeded to make one of the horses talk. The hired hand, wide-eyed with fear, rushed from the ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы lay by[lay by] {v.} To save, especially a little at a time. Thestudents laid a little money by every week till they had enough for atrip to Florida. The farmer laid by some of his best corn to usethe next year for seed....
38. Looking for a monkey wrenchAn old farmer is driving down a country road in his pickup truck when it starts making an awful noise. He stops the truck and crawls underneath to investigate the problem. «Hmmm…muffler’s loose. I bet I could fix that if I had a Monkey Wrench.» He says. He crawls out from underneath the truck and ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы off the wagon[off the wagon] {adj. phr.}, {slang} No longer refusing to drinkwhiskey or other alcoholic beverages; drinking liquor again, afterstopping for a while. When a heavy drinker quits he must reallyquit. One little drink of whiskey is enough to drive him off thewagon. Contrast: ON THE WAGON....
40. Перевод идиомы on the wagon, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: on the wagon Перевод: воздерживаться от спиртного, лечиться от алкоголизма, бросить пить, завязать (обычно употребляется с глаголами Be и Go) Пример: The man has been on the wagon for seven months now. Этот мужчина не пьет вот уже несколько месяцев....