A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy

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1. A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog’s fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That […]...
2. Indians and Polish There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. He stopped and hollered into the cave… “Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” and then listened very closely until he heard the […]...
3. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? […]...
4. When white man found this land, Indians were running it When white man found this land, Indians were running it. There were: – No Taxes – No Debt – Plenty buffalo – Plenty beaver – Medicine man free – Women did all the work – Men hunted and fished all the time The white man was dumb enough to think he could improve on that […]...
5. The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through one of the many canyons when suddenly rising from the hill on their right are hundreds of indians. They start to spur their horse forward when they realised that there are hundreds of indians ahead of them. Wheeling to the left they, once again, see hundreds of […]...
6. Large Indian mural In Montana, on the sight where Custer and his men had their asses handed to them by the Sioux, a huge mural is to be painted. The artist insists on complete secrecy. When the mural is unveiled it shows an orgy of naked Indians screwing all over the prairie, and in the center a cow […]...
7. Перевод слова naked Naked – голый, явный, неприкрытый Перевод слова Invisible to the naked eye – невидимый невооруженным взглядом naked aggression – явная агрессия to strip smb. naked – раздеть кого-л. донага naked confession – голословное признание Her Naked body was found in a field. Ее обнаженное тело было найдено в поле. They stripped me Naked. Они сорвали […]...
8. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says “Look Momma, I’m a white boy.” His mother slaps him hard On the face and says “Boy, go show your Daddy.” The […]...
9. Describing Brisk and Slow Business Clint: Anya! Long time no see. Let me buy you a drink. I’m celebrating. Anya: Oh, yeah? What’s the good news? Clint: My company has had a Banner month. Since we Launched our new Line of software, we’re having trouble Keeping up with demand. Every product is Flying off the shelves. Anya: Wow, that’s great […]...
10. Значение идиомы horse [horse] See: BET ON THE WRONG HORSE, CART BEFORE THE HORSE, CHANGEHORSES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREAM or CHANGE HORSES IN MIDSTREAM, EATLIKE A HORSE, HOLD ONE’S HORSES. IRON HORSE, LOCK THE BARN DOOR AFTERTHE HORSE IS STOLEN, LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH, OFF ONE’S HIGHHORSE, ON ONE’S HIGH HORSE, PUT ONE’S […]...
11. Перевод слова chief Chief – руководитель, начальник, вождь; главный, основной Перевод слова Chief editor – главный редактор chief intimate – лучший друг chief supporter – основной сторонник chief reasons – главные причины The Chief wants you. Вас требует начальник. The fire Chief suspects arson. Начальник пожарной охраны подозревает поджог. Safety is our Chief concern. Безопасность – наша главная […]...
12. Перевод слова bunch Bunch – пучок, пачка, связка Перевод слова A bunch of flowers – букетик цветов a bunch of grapes – гроздь винограда a bunch of keys – связка ключей I’ll send her a Bunch of flowers. Я пошлю ей букет цветов. The children Bunched together in small groups. Дети разбиты на небольшие группы. He is the […]...
13. Перевод слова capture Capture – захватывать, завоевывать, фиксировать, записывать, уловить (момент, фото, видео) Перевод слова To capture attention – привлечь внимание, увлечь to capture a channel – занимать канал to capture electron – захватывать электрон The city was Captured by the Romans. Город был захвачен римлянами. So far he has evaded Capture. До сих пор он избегал поимки. […]...
14. On Christmas morning a cop on horseback On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” The kid says, “Yeah.” The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to […]...
15. One day there was an indian chief who was constipated One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says “Big Chief, no shit”. the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow. The warrior went back to the chief and […]...
16. A cowboy walked into a barber shop A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, “I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.” The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, […]...
17. One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each […]...
18. A talking horse A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. “Yes sir, I’m a fine horse. I’ve run in 25 races and won over??5 million. I keep my […]...
19. A blonde decides to try horseback riding A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, […]...
20. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began. “You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. “I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe […]...
21. Перевод слова horse Horse – лошадь, конь Перевод слова Horse breeding – разведение лошадей draught horse – упряжная лошадь heavy draught horse – тяжеловоз Caparison my Horse. Седлай моего коня! He jumped his Horse. Он заставил лошадь прыгнуть. The Horse is in form. Лошадь вполне подготовлена к бегам....
22. Time for the wedding A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said to keep quiet! You’re […]...
23. An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes […]...
24. Chief is at a wedding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said […]...
25. Too much speeding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But, officer,” the man began, “I can explain” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say” “And I said […]...
26. There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area and found a […]...
27. A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse’s tail and our friend was stuck […]...
28. The Master Chief was inspecting the barracks The Master Chief was inspecting the barracks and he overheard one terrified recruit whisper, “Master Chief Barnes has the heart of a tiny child. . . on his desk. . . in a jar.” Without missing a beat, Master Chief Barnes snarled, “Goddamned if they don’t find out EVERY little thing about you!”...
29. Solve Indian puzzles An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made […]...
30. Be afraid if you annoy this husband A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman’s horse mis-steps and jostles the man’s wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, […]...
31. Значение идиомы cowboy [cowboy] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} A person who drives his car carelessly and at too great a speed in order to show off his courage. Joe’s going to be arrested some day – he is a cowboy on the highway....
32. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s […]...
33. A man gets home early from work A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, […]...
34. A horse and a rabbit A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes […]...
35. A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes […]...
36. The Missionary and the Chief A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. […]...
37. Indian chief’s signal An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card (unfortunately B-) ). So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: “Hey, […]...
38. That is ONE! A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had growen tired of working so hard to build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it. So he thought it would be nice to get one of those mail order brides. Well he sent for one and on the day she was […]...
39. Free drinks for everyone One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: “Drinks for all on me including you, bartender.” So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: “That will be $36.50 please.” The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. The next […]...
40. Investigating a Terrible Accident There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, […]...