A blonde and a brunette were talking one day

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1. A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded womanA blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: «I don’t want to complain, but I think those ... Читать далее...
2. Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blondeThree women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: » OOOOOhhh that looks like semen.» She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says «It feels like ... Читать далее...
3. There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redheadThere are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When they got about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no idea way use your imagination). The three girls jump off and swim to a nearby island. After being there ... Читать далее...
4. A blonde came running home to her motherA blonde came running home to her mother, sobbing and hysterical. «What’s wrong?» her mum, (another blonde) asked. «My boyfriend’s just dropped me!» wailed the blonde. Her mother nodded wisely and started to tell her all about the birds and the bees. «No mum,» the blonde interrupted. «You don’t understand — I can fuck and ... Читать далее...
5. Commiting suicideA blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, «You put it around your neck!» The ... Читать далее...
6. Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriendsJudi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends. Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Judi: That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy....
7. A blonde goes for a job interviewA blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. ‘So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?’ The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, ‘Ehhhh.. 22!’ The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. ‘And can you ... Читать далее...
8. Blonde on blondeA blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. «What does it look like?» she finally ... Читать далее...
9. One day a blonde went into Wal-Mart andOne day a blonde went into Wal-Mart and saw something she liked. The Blonde asked the clerk what it was. The Clerk said it was a thermous. What does the thermous do? It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. So she bought one. The blonde brought it to work one day and the ... Читать далее...
10. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a jobA blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think ... Читать далее...
11. A BlondeA Blonde A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, «I’ve kidnapped you.» She then wrote a note saying, «I’ve kidnapped your kid. ... Читать далее...
12. A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly beingA blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her «go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?» The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she ... Читать далее...
13. A blonde is speaking to her psychiatristA blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. «I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.» Psychiatrist: «Don’t you have a phone in your car?» Blonde: «That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.» Psychiatrist: ... Читать далее...
14. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty lifeA blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to ... Читать далее...
15. A young blonde woman is distraughtA young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband ... Читать далее...
16. A blonde decides to try horseback ridingA blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы good head on one’s shoulders[good head on one’s shoulders] {n. phr.} Good sense; good judgment. Jack has a good head on his shoulders; he never drives too fast. Alice is a girl with a good head on her shoulders, she always keepsgood company. George showed he had a good head on his shoulders byrefusing to cheat....
18. Buying A BullTwo sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы head and shoulders[head and shoulders] {adv. phr.} 1. By the measure of the head andshoulders. The basketball player is head and shoulders taller thanthe other boys. 2. By far; by a great deal; very much. She is headand shoulders above the rest of the class in singing. See: FAR ANDAWAY....
20. Значение идиомы shoulder[shoulder] See: CHIP ON ONE’S SHOULDER, COLD SHOULDER, GOOD HEAD ONONE’S SHOULDERS, HEAD AND SHOULDERS, PUT ONE’S SHOULDER TO THE WHEEL, ON ONE’S SHOULDERS, RUB ELBOWS or RUB SHOULDERS, SQUARE ONE’SSHOULDERS, WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON ONE’S SHOULDERS....
21. A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselorA blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was ... Читать далее...
22. Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one askedDown in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, «Do you ever get to feeling horny?» «Yes,» her friend replied. «What do you do about it?» «I usually suck on a Lifesaver.» After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, «Well, what beach do you go to?»...
23. An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doingAn Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, «Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.» The Mexican opened ... Читать далее...
24. A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar intoA blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into the coke machine at a large Vegas casino. She kept punching the buttons only to have happen what you’d expect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other, and change too! After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so went and got more. Back ... Читать далее...
25. A blonde with two red ears went to her doctorA blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, «I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang — but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.» «Oh Dear!» the ... Читать далее...
26. A couple of blonde men in a pickup truckA couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, «We need some four-by-twos.» The clerk said, «You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?» The man said, «I’ll go check,» and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, ... Читать далее...
27. A blonde went to the appliance store saleA blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. «I would like to buy this TV,» she told the salesman. «Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,» he replied. She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, «I would like to buy this TV.» «Sorry we don’t sell ... Читать далее...
28. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her motherOne day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, «Why are some of your hairs white, Mom? Her ... Читать далее...
29. A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her handA blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened? The blonde said, «Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, ... Читать далее...
30. A talking horseA travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. «Yes sir, I’m a fine horse. I’ve run in 25 races and won over??5 million. I keep my ... Читать далее...
31. A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamondA buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond. «It happens to be the third most famous diamond in the whole world,» she boasted. «The first is the Hope Diamond, then comes the Kohinoor, and then comes this one, which is called Lipshitz.» «What a diamond!» «How lucky you are!» «Wait, wait, nothing ... Читать далее...
32. Two confirmed bachelors sat talkingTwo confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. «I got a cookbook once,» said the first, «but I could never do anything with it.» «Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?» asked the second. «You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way — ‘Take a clean dish ... Читать далее...
33. A blonde got lost in her car in a snow stormA blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. «If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it». Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for ... Читать далее...
34. A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to tryA blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes ... Читать далее...
35. Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hairMrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, «I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there.» That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, «I’ve never seen anything like that. ... Читать далее...
36. An easy solutionOn a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, «I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.» Not wanting to argue ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод слова slightSlight — незначительный; худощавый, тонкий, хрупкий Перевод слова A slight girlish figure — изящная девичья фигура to be slight of figure — быть худощавым slight knowledge — поверхностные знания a slight attack of illness — легкий приступ болезни He has a Slight cold. У него легкая простуда. There is a Slight chance of rain. Есть ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы talking point[talking point] {n.} Something good about a person or thing thatcan be talked about in selling it. The streamlined shape of the carwas one of its talking points. John tried to get Mary to dateBill. One of his talking points was that Bill was captain of thefootball team....
39. Перевод идиомы Now you’re talking!, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: Now you’re talking! Идиома: Now you’re talking! разг. Перевод: Вот это уже другой разговор! Неплохая идея! Пример: «Would you like pizza for dinner?» «Now you’re talking!» Хочешь пиццы на ужин? — Еще как!...
40. A drunken blonde goes into a barA drunken blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, «Gimme a beer.» The bartender then asks, «Anheuser-Busch?» To which she replies, «Fine thanks, and how’s your cock?»...