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1. Ru-Ru Two guys get stuck on a desert island. They are soon caught by the natives and brought to a village and put before the cheif. He says to the first guy,”As punishment for tresspassing I give you a choice, death or Ru Ru”.Not wanting to die he picks Ru Ru. He is then beaten and […]...
2. The Missionary and the Chief A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. […]...
3. Перевод сленгового выражения bash, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: bash Перевод: 1. празднование, вечеринка; 2. критиковать, осуждать Пример: Yes, it was quite a bash. Да, это была замечательная вечеринка. Why do you have to bash my beliefs? Почему ты осуждаешь мои убеждения?...
4. Kind of awkward A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to fix some drinks. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he’s looking at it, […]...
5. A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this whistle – Whooee da Whoee! – but doesn’t know what it is. Predictably, he’s […]...
6. A crowd had gathered around a whore and A crowd had gathered around a whore and they were about to stone her. Jesus stepped in front of her and said: “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” From the back of the crowd came this stone which hit Jesus on the head and knocked him down. Jesus turned and looked […]...
7. A Burglar is in Big Trouble A burglar has just made it into the house he’s intending ransacking, and he’s looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, “I can see you, and so can Jesus!” Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his […]...
8. Using nails on a house These two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over […]...
9. Now he’s in trouble A police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, “what’s the problem officer?” To which the policeman responded, “I stopped you for running that red light behind you.” Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and […]...
10. You might be a redneck if 03 You might be a redneck if… There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. There is a wasp nest in your living room. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his […]...
11. Значение идиомы stone [stone] See: CAST THE FIRST STONE, HAVE A HEART OF STONE, KILL TWOBIRDS WITH ONE STONE, LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED, PEOPLE WHO LIVE INGLASS HOUSES SHOULD NOT THROW STONES, ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS....
12. Перевод идиомы ask for trouble / look for trouble, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: ask for trouble / look for trouble Перевод: напрашиваться на неприятности; вести себя таким образом, который приведет к неприятностям Пример: The boy is asking for trouble if he misses another class. Этот мальчик сам напросится на неприятности, если пропустит еще одно занятие....
13. Значение идиомы stand for [stand for] {v.} 1. To be a sign of; make you think of; mean. The letters “U. S. A.” stand for “United States of America.” Thewritten sign “=” in an arithmetic problem stands for “equals.” Ourflag stands for our country. The owl stands for wisdom. 2. Tospeak in favor of something, or show that you […]...
14. Birth control Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says “We’re Catholic so we can’t use it.” The next woman says “I am too but we use the rhythm method.” The third woman says “We use the bucket and saucer method.” “What the heck is […]...
15. Conducting a Search Security Chief: Okay, people. We’ve just had a report of a Missing child on this property. We need to find him fast. I want you two To search Every room in this building. Look in Every nook and cranny. Ramona: Excuse me, may I ask a question? Security Chief: You can when I’m done. Now […]...
16. Out All Night Drinking An Irishman’s been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat […]...
17. Перевод слова chief Chief – руководитель, начальник, вождь; главный, основной Перевод слова Chief editor – главный редактор chief intimate – лучший друг chief supporter – основной сторонник chief reasons – главные причины The Chief wants you. Вас требует начальник. The fire Chief suspects arson. Начальник пожарной охраны подозревает поджог. Safety is our Chief concern. Безопасность – наша главная […]...
18. An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said “I want to know the person you […]...
19. Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle. When Stacey returns with her mother, […]...
20. Miracle Bra Alternative Miracle Bra Alternative A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in […]...
21. Значение идиомы for the devil [for the devil] or [heck] or [the hell of it] {adv. phr.} For nospecific reason; just for sport and fun. We poured salt into UncleTom’s coffee, just for the heck of it. See: DEVIL OF IT....
22. A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile […]...
23. Значение идиомы have one’s head screwed on backwards [have one’s head screwed on backwards] {v. phr.} To lack commonsense; behave in strange and irrational ways. Henry seems to havehis head screwed on backwards; he thinks the best time to get a suntanis when it is raining and to sleep with his shoes on....
24. One day there was an indian chief who was constipated One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says “Big Chief, no shit”. the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow. The warrior went back to the chief and […]...
25. Father of my children A guy is in line at the local Wal-Mart when he notices that a rather hot blond behind him has just smiled “Hello” to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him… and although familiar he can’t place where he might know her from… so he says…”Sorry….do you […]...
26. Перевод слова voice Voice – голос, способность петь; выражать Перевод слова The compass of a voice – диапазон голоса in a decided voice – твердым голосом to voice a desire – выражать пожелание I know this Voice! Я узнаю этот голос! Sh! Keep your Voice down! Тсс! Говорите потише! His Voice deepened. Его голос стал более глубоким....
27. ZHow offensive is that? How offensive is that? Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize with Him. As Jesus looks out over the gathering he calls to one of his apostle’s. “Paul… Paul,” He calls out. Paul hears his name and comes […]...
28. Retire Aged Personell Early TO ALL MCCCD EMPLOYEES FROM GOVERNING BORED DATE 22 APR 1986 1. As a result of the HAYZE mismanagement study, we must drastically cut most salaries and reduce our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will go on early retirement, thus permitting management to focus its abuse on younger employees who represent our […]...
29. A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and his front bumper smashed. There’s no sign of the offending vehicle, but he’s relieved to see that there’s a note stuck under the windshield wiper. The lawyer picks up the note. “Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw […]...
30. There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area and found a […]...
31. Solve Indian puzzles An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made […]...
32. Trouble with the car WIFE: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor.” HUSBAND: “Water in the carburettor? That’s ridiculous.” WIFE: “I tell you the car has water in the carburettor.” HUSBAND: “You don’t even know what a carburettor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?” WIFE: “In the pool.”...
33. The Master Chief was inspecting the barracks The Master Chief was inspecting the barracks and he overheard one terrified recruit whisper, “Master Chief Barnes has the heart of a tiny child. . . on his desk. . . in a jar.” Without missing a beat, Master Chief Barnes snarled, “Goddamned if they don’t find out EVERY little thing about you!”...
34. An elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests “Look at me.” an elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests at his birthday bash. “I’ve aged like a fine old carefully stored wine.” “I certainly have to agree with that.” piped-up his obviously long suffering wife. “Henry’s cork’s been stationary for years.”...
35. Перевод слова body Body – тело, туловище, ствол Перевод слова Body temperature – температура тела body weight – вес тела decomposing body – разлагающийся труп She has a lean, athletic Body. Она худощавая, спортивного телосложения. Her Body is very muscular. Ее тело очень мускулистое. A sound mind in a sound Body. В здоровом теле здоровый дух. Примеры из […]...
36. Dealing with trouble A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The “disturbance” turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What’s more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too. Said the policeman, “I’ll bet that you’re also an escape artist-probably better than […]...
37. The alcohol trouble During grammar school science experiements into properties of different alcohols: The residue of each test was tipped down the sinks, which were grouped in threes. There were no U-bends, but each group of sinks emptied into a single box, which overflowed into the mains sewers. Presumably this was intended to retain things like droplets of […]...
38. A group of Americans was touring Ireland A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be followin’ […]...
39. Deaf lady in trouble One day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his […]...
40. Beware of IRS The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000.00 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the […]...