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1. Перевод слова potassium Potassium – калий Перевод слова Potassium acetate – ацетат калия potassium glass – калийное стекло potassium hydride – гидрид калия potassium nitrite – азотистокислый калий I rather fancy Potassium cyanide. You just chew a piece, and quick curtain. Я предпочитаю цианистый калий. Вы проглатываете кусочек, и конец. We would only need Potassium bromide and acetic […]...
2. Перевод слова bucket Bucket – ведро Перевод слова Empty bucket – пустое ведро full bucket – полное ведро drop in the bucket – капля в море He sank the Bucket into the well. Он опустил ведро в колодец. The Greek, that great well whence we Bucket up our terms. Греческий язык, этот великий источник, из которого мы черпаем […]...
3. A little delusion The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore […]...
4. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked “Could I have a fucket please?” The assistant asked”Pardon sir?”. “Can I have a fucket please?” Replied the man. […]...
5. Перевод слова stir Stir – шевелить, помешивать; шевеление, суета, переполох Перевод слова A stir of warm wind – дуновение теплого ветерка to make a stir – наделать шуму, произвести сенсацию to stir the fire with a poker – помешать в камине кочергой The book caused quite a Stir. Книга вызвала ажиотаж. Next, Stir up the eggs with the […]...
6. Значение идиомы stir up [stir up] {v.} 1. To bring into being, often by greatexertion or activity; cause. It was a quiet afternoon, and Johntried to stir up some excitement. Bob stirred up a fight betweenTom and Bill. Compare: WHIP UP. 2. To cause to act;incite to action or movement; rouse. The coach’s pep talk stirredup the team to […]...
7. Thrown out of the lab Top Ten ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab 10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others. 9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, “Does this taste funny to you?” 8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as “KKK.” 7. […]...
8. Chinese Fire Drill One joke that we did in residence was the Chinese Fire Drill, I don’t quite know why it is called that. Anyway.. The victim is on the pot in the dorm washroom. Everyone grabs a bucket (we used the waste baskets from our rooms) and fills the buckets with water. Take a paper bag and […]...
9. A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis. The professor commented, “Oh, no, I wanted it the other way.” She replied, “What other […]...
10. How does physics save lives? One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask “Why do we have to learn this stuff?” “To save lives.” the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted. “It […]...
11. Birth control Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says “We’re Catholic so we can’t use it.” The next woman says “I am too but we use the rhythm method.” The third woman says “We use the bucket and saucer method.” “What the heck is […]...
12. Dinner prepared by kids A Thanksgiving Cookbook by Mrs. Geraghty’s Kindergarten Class NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook. Ivette – Banana Pie You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it. Russell – Turkey You cut the […]...
13. Перевод слова purpose Purpose – замысел, цель, намерение Перевод слова On purpose – нарочно, с целью beside the purpose – нецелесообразно man of purpose – целеустремленный человек What is the Purpose of your visit? Какова цель вашего визита? You can speak to the Purpose when you choose. Вы можете говорить по существу, когда захотите. He answered him very […]...
14. Chemistry song 06 Quantum Chemistry On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the second day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: a double integral and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the third day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: three orbitals, a double integral, and […]...
15. Перевод слова professor Professor – профессор, преподаватель Перевод слова Former University professor – бывший преподаватель университета professor of sociology – преподаватель социологии a promotion to the rank of professor – присвоение звания профессора The new Professor always pontificates. Новый профессор всегда занимался догматическими разглагольствованиями. He looked like a nutty Professor. Он выглядел как полоумный профессор. The Professor flunked […]...
16. A small boy is sent to bed by his father A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: “Da-ad…” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?” “No. You had your chance. Lights out.” Five minutes later: “Da-aaaad…” “WHAT?” “I’m THIRSTY…Can I have a drink of water??” “I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have […]...
17. Jokes of science 02 The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. “Hmmm,” says the theorist, “That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).” In the middle of it, the experimentalist says “Wait a minute”, studies the chart for a second, and […]...
18. New Words Each year, the Washington Post’s “Style Invitational” asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2001 winners: Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. Reintarnation: […]...
19. Biology Class In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and asked, “If I understand, you’re saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?” “That’s correct”, responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand […]...
20. A little boy was excited about his first day at school A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked […]...
21. Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day. They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that they were 4 for a dollar. The nuns said okay. The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when there were only three of them. A nun answered back, “Well, […]...
22. Значение идиомы act out [act out] {v.} 1. To show an idea, story, or happening by your looks, talk, and movements. He tried to act out a story that he had read. 2. To put into action. All his life he tried to act out his beliefs....
23. Insulting to women The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Bangkok, Thailand A member of the ruling junta who oversees Thai Airways International has ordered the carrier to hire more-attractive stewardesses. “We have received a lot of complaints that our air hostesses […]...
24. Legal Problems I was reading the newspaper this morning and saw a story about a university student Arrested and Charged with Burglary and Assault. Last Monday, this student hit a Security guard over the head, Broke into his professor’s office, and Stole the professor’s computer. He wasn’t doing well in the class and thought that he could […]...
25. Перевод слова action Action – действие, деятельность, поступок, работа Перевод слова Clarion call to action – громкий призыв к действию a coherent plan for action – согласованный план действий to compromise an action – закончить дело миром consecution of action – последовательность действий Lights, camera, Action! Свет, камера, мотор! Now’s the time for Action. Пришло время действовать. The […]...
26. A dangerous job This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one. “Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?” the service guy asks. “Boy,” is the man’s response. “Oh yeah, I can do it. I’ll be right there,” says […]...
27. Fun on first day of class This is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of these things on the first day of class or for that matter, on any day of class. 1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, “Quite right, old bean!” 2. Wear […]...
28. Police Work Isn’t as Dangerous as You May Think After the senseless death and tragic funerals of two young New York City policeman, cops have got to be thinking about assassination. “I want to go home to my wife and kids,” said a cop to the New York Post.” I am concerned about my safety.” On NBC’s Meet the Press,” NYC Police Commissioner William […]...
29. With a puzzled look on his face With a puzzled look on his face an Indian boy asked, “Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?” She told him, “Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.” Then he asked, “Why is my sister named Cornflower?” She replied, “Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made […]...
30. A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. So they did. They drove it home and parked it in the street between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out […]...
31. A dangerous animal The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in […]...
32. Last minute requests A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his […]...
33. Значение идиомы sob story [sob story] {n.} A story that makes you feel pity or sorrow; a talethat makes you tearful. The beggar told us a long sob story beforehe asked for money. The movie is based on a sob story, but peoplelove it....
34. Two drunks walk into a bar Two drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his buddy and says “I gotta go use the can.” So he wonders off to the bathroom and is gone for 5 … 10… 20 minutes. Well his friend gets pissed off and goes in to get him. He finds him in there and […]...
35. Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” he asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.” Jones sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the […]...
36. Значение идиомы kick the bucket [kick the bucket] {v. phr.}, {slang} To die. Old Mr. Joneskicked the bucket just two days before his ninety-fourth birthday. Compare: KICK OFF....
37. Значение идиомы hold water [hold water] {v. phr.} 1. To keep water without leaking. Thatpail still holds water. 2. {informal} To prove true; stand testing;bear examination. – Usually used in negative, interrogative, orconditional sentences. Ernest told the police a story that wouldn’thold water....
38. The Cesium song 10 Cesium (All through the Night) (Tune, Fever) (1) Never know how much I need you, Never know how much I’d dare, When I mix you up with water, I get a heat that’s hard to bear. I need my Cesium! Burnin’ brightly, Cesium to give me light. Cesium – In the morning, Cesium all through […]...
39. Age difference What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her […]...
40. The evils of marijuana A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors, “Used regularly,” he explained, “pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!” “Now wait a minute, professor,” interrupted a student. […]...