Very dangerous mix

Related topics:

1. Chemistry song 06Quantum Chemistry On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the second day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: a double integral and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the third day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: three orbitals, a double integral, and ... Читать далее...
2. Chem one-liners 01Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. — Mike Adams Chemicals: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made. Remember, if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate! There is the joke about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова potassiumPotassium — калий Перевод слова Potassium acetate — ацетат калия potassium glass — калийное стекло potassium hydride — гидрид калия potassium nitrite — азотистокислый калий I rather fancy Potassium cyanide. You just chew a piece, and quick curtain. Я предпочитаю цианистый калий. Вы проглатываете кусочек, и конец. We would only need Potassium bromide and acetic ... Читать далее...
4. How does physics save lives?One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask «Why do we have to learn this stuff?» «To save lives.» the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. «So how does physics save lives?» he persisted. «It ... Читать далее...
5. Legal ProblemsI was reading the newspaper this morning and saw a story about a university student Arrested and Charged with Burglary and Assault. Last Monday, this student hit a Security guard over the head, Broke into his professor’s office, and Stole the professor’s computer. He wasn’t doing well in the class and thought that he could ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова bucketBucket — ведро Перевод слова Empty bucket — пустое ведро full bucket — полное ведро drop in the bucket — капля в море He sank the Bucket into the well. Он опустил ведро в колодец. The Greek, that great well whence we Bucket up our terms. Греческий язык, этот великий источник, из которого мы черпаем ... Читать далее...
7. Thrown out of the labTop Ten ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab 10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others. 9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, «Does this taste funny to you?» 8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as «KKK.» 7. ... Читать далее...
8. Preparing a PaperStudent: I wonder if I could ask you some questions about our paper, professor. Do you want us to Cite our Sources in the Footnotes? Professor: You should use Endnotes for longer explanations. Otherwise, just follow the Style sheet I passed out for Citations in your paper. Student: I see. And what about the Cover ... Читать далее...
9. A little delusionThe weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore ... Читать далее...
10. Jokes of science 02The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. «Hmmm,» says the theorist, «That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).» In the middle of it, the experimentalist says «Wait a minute», studies the chart for a second, and ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы lump in one’s throat[lump in one’s throat] {n. phr.} A feeling so strong that you almost sob. John’s mother had a lump in herthroat at his college graduation. All during her husband’sfuneral, Aunt May had a lump in her throat. The bride’s mother hada lump in her throat....
12. Students miss a finalIntroductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms — so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final ... Читать далее...
13. Pray hardA lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, «Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.» «What do they say?» the priest inquired. «They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?» «That’s obscene!» the priest exclaimed, ... Читать далее...
14. The evils of marijuanaA certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors, «Used regularly,» he explained, «pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!» «Now wait a minute, professor,» interrupted a student. ... Читать далее...
15. BonkistryIntroductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as «Bonkistry.» He has been around forever, so I wouldn’t put it past him to come up with something like this. Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry ... Читать далее...
16. Young naval studentA young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. «What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?» «Throw out an anchor, sir,» the student replied. «What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?» «Throw out another anchor, sir.» «And if another terrific ... Читать далее...
17. Chinese Fire DrillOne joke that we did in residence was the Chinese Fire Drill, I don’t quite know why it is called that. Anyway.. The victim is on the pot in the dorm washroom. Everyone grabs a bucket (we used the waste baskets from our rooms) and fills the buckets with water. Take a paper bag and ... Читать далее...
18. The College Food ChainTHE DEAN Leaps tall buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Gives policy to God THE DEPARTMENT HEAD Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Talks with ... Читать далее...
19. Chem one-liners 04Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? A: Methylated Spirits! Q: How many atoms in a guacamole? A:Avocado’s number. Q: What do chemists use to make guacomole? A: Avogadros. Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry. These were printed on bumper stickers and given out at an American Chemical Society meeting 10 or 12 years ago: ... Читать далее...
20. German Shepard on Golf CourseA golf pro was helping this attractive young woman with her swing when his zipper got caught in the rhinestones on the back of her skirt. Needless to say this was embarrassing to both of them since their relationship had been purely platonic. They decided to walk together in this lock-step back to the clubhouse ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод слова chemistryChemistry — химия Перевод слова Organic chemistry — органическая химия agricultural chemistry — агрохимия chemistry experiment — химический опыт She professes organic Chemistry. Она преподает органическую химию. The Chemistry test was a bear. Тест по химии был очень трудным. Chemistry is a closed book to me. Химия для меня — это закрытая книга....
22. Birth controlSome women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says «We’re Catholic so we can’t use it.» The next woman says «I am too but we use the rhythm method.» The third woman says «We use the bucket and saucer method.» «What the heck is ... Читать далее...
23. A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasureA college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He says, «A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse.» One student stands up and says, «Professor, ... Читать далее...
24. American University Grading ProceduresHere is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams: DEPT OF STATISTICS: — All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: — Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы hold water[hold water] {v. phr.} 1. To keep water without leaking. Thatpail still holds water. 2. {informal} To prove true; stand testing;bear examination. — Usually used in negative, interrogative, orconditional sentences. Ernest told the police a story that wouldn’thold water....
26. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopersA young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. «So, did you ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы water[water] See: BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, DEEP WATER, FISH OUT OF WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGH WATER, HEADABOVE WATER, HOLD WATER, HELL AND HIGH WATER, HOT WATER, LIKE WATER, LIKE WATER OFF A DUCK’S BACK, MAKE ONE’S MOUTH WATER, OF THE FIRSTWATER, POUR OIL ON TROUBLED WATERS, THROW ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова solutionSolution — решение, объяснение; раствор Перевод слова To discover a solution to the problem — найти решение проблемы facile solution — поверхностное заключение to make a solution — приготовить раствор The problem has a unique Solution. Задача имеет единственное решение. The Solution boiled at 57.4°C. Этот раствор кипел при 57.4°с. There’s no Solution to this ... Читать далее...
29. Computers are femaleThe top six reasons computers must be female: 6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner. 5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic. 4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. 3. The native language used to communicate with other ... Читать далее...
30. A rookie police officer was assignedA rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, «Let’s ... Читать далее...
31. Friends Don’t Let Friends Walk Through Revolving Doors AloneWhat it says about your friendship when you find yourself squished into a revolving-door with a companion. «Great works are often born on the street-corner or in a restaurant’s revolving door,» said Albert Camus, and a recent study shows that he was on to something. The revolving door is not just the accidental setting for ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод слова femaleFemale — женщина, женский; женского пола Перевод слова Female relations — родственницы female patients — пациентки female education — женское образование Female cattle are cows. Женские особи крупного рогатого скота — это коровы. A Female deer is a doe. Самка оленя называется оленихой. The workers were overwhelmingly Female. Среди работников преобладали женщины. Примеры из жизни ... Читать далее...
33. A young female teacher was giving an assignmentA young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, «What’s so funny Pat?» «Well teacher, I just ... Читать далее...
34. A human’s Chalkboard AssignmentsThis list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your human when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment for him/her. 1. I will not bathe my master after he bathes himself in the mud puddle. 2. I will not drag my master from the interesting ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова masterMaster — мастер; хозяин, господин Перевод слова Master of a shop — хозяин мастерской master and man — господин и слуга master of satire — мастер сатиры master of English — знаток английского языка He had learned to Master his fear of heights. Он научился контролировать свой страх высоты. He is a Master liar. Он ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова professorProfessor — профессор, преподаватель Перевод слова Former University professor — бывший преподаватель университета professor of sociology — преподаватель социологии a promotion to the rank of professor — присвоение звания профессора The new Professor always pontificates. Новый профессор всегда занимался догматическими разглагольствованиями. He looked like a nutty Professor. Он выглядел как полоумный профессор. The Professor flunked ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы lump sum[lump sum] {n.} The complete amount; a total agreed upon and to bepaid at one time. The case was settled out of court with theplaintiff receiving a lump sum of half a million dollars for damages....
38. Question is too easyON A CHEMISTRY TEST at Midpark High School in Middleburg Heights, Ohio, one question concerned how to clean the floor after a chemical-powder spill. In detail, I described the liquid I would combine with the powder in order to dissolve it with chemical bonding and electron transfer. I was pleased with my grasp of molecular ... Читать далее...
39. Convince these studentsAn Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR. But the culminating point of his oration was greeted with cat calls, whistles and projection of rotten eggs and an assortment of no less rotten vegetables and fruits. A visitor asked a student: «Why you throw ... Читать далее...
40. Biology ClassIn a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and asked, «If I understand, you’re saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?» «That’s correct», responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand ... Читать далее...