Unable to attend the funeral after his father died

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1. Перевод слова funeralFuneral — похороны Перевод слова To administer the funeral rites — отправлять похоронные обряды funeral honours — последние почести funeral march — похоронный марш His Funeral will be held on Friday. Его похороны состоятся в пятницу. The family are making arrangements for his Funeral. Семья занимается организацией его похорон. They want the Funeral to be ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова unableUnable — неспособный Перевод слова Unable to pay — неплатежеспособный unable to fight a bag of shit — не умеющий драться permanently unable to work — нетрудоспособный unable to sport — неспособный к спорту She is Unable to work today. Она не может работать сегодня. I was Unable to afford the trip. Я был не ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова attendAttend — посещать, присутствовать Перевод слова To attend school — ходить в школу the meeting will be well attended — на собрании будет много народу to attend a party — присутствовать на вечеринке We Attend the same church. Мы ходим в одну церковь. She Attends class regularly. Она посещает занятия регулярно. It’s unlikely that she ... Читать далее...
4. Sister Margaret diedSister Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. She immediately called Saint Peter and said, «This is Sister Margaret. There’s been a terrible mistake!» She explained the situation, and Saint Peter said he’d get right on it. The next day the nun didn’t hear from Saint Peter so she called him again. ... Читать далее...
5. Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up«Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up to the holy water a minute ago, and he splashed some on his right leg and then he threw away his right crutch! Then he splashed some more on the other leg and threw away his left crutch!» «My boy, you’ve witnessed a miracle! What happened ... Читать далее...
6. Making Funeral and Burial ArrangementsReiko: When I die, I want a big Funeral. The more Mourners the better! Lucas: Not me. I’m just the opposite. I don’t want any kind of funeral or Wake. I just want to be Cremated and have my Ashes scattered. Reiko: What? You don’t want to be Buried in a beautiful Casket with a ... Читать далее...
7. Short Father ChristmasWhat do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck! What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? ... Читать далее...
8. A young man asks his fatherA young man asks his father, «Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?» The father, surprised, answers: «Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, ... Читать далее...
9. So at the funeral home, the widow instructsHere’s a sick one… So at the funeral home, the widow instructs the mortician to cut off her late husband’s penis and shove it up his rectum. The mortician objects, but threatening not to pay, he relents. Later, at the coffin closing, the wife bends down to kiss her husband goodbye, and she sees a ... Читать далее...
10. The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decidedThe Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, «I’m off. The man should be here soon» Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the ... Читать далее...
11. A little boy walks up to his father and saysA little boy walks up to his father and says, «Dad, what does a pussy look like?» Father responds, «well son, before or after sex?» Son, «Well, before?» Father, «picture a tulip with all the petals son.» Son, «well what about after?» Father, «Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!»...
12. Camel DiedCamel Died A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the dessert. After a few days the camel falls over dead. After looking over the situation the priest figures neither one of them will survive the rest of the journey. The priest asks the nun «I have never seen a woman’s breasts, and ... Читать далее...
13. Clinton died and was standing at hte Pearly GatesClinton died and was standing at hte Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. «Who goes there?» inquired St. Peter. «‘It’s me, Bill Clinton.» «And what do you want?» asked St. Peter. «Lemme in!» replied Clinton. «Soooo,» pondered Peter. «What bad things did you do on earth?» Clinton thought a bit and ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова fatherFather — отец, создатель, порождать Перевод слова Adoptive father — приемный отец Father of his Country — отец отечества cowardice fathers cowardice — одна трусость порождает другую Father carved the ham. Отец резал ветчину. He takes after his Father. Он во всем похож на отца. He will make a splendid Father! Он станет великолепным отцом!...
15. A horrible tragedyA man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, «You look terrible. What’s the problem?» «My mother died in June,» he said, «and left me $10,000.» «Gee, that’s tough,» he replied. «Then in July,» the friend continued, «My father died leaving me $50,000.» «Wow. Two ... Читать далее...
16. I didn’t get any money this timeA man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, «You look terrible. What’s the problem?» «My mother died in August,» he said, «and left me $25,000.» «Gee, that’s tough,» he replied. «Then in September,» the friend continued, «My father died, leaving me $90,000.» «Wow. Two ... Читать далее...
17. Fluffy diedThis guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbor is going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы like father, like son[like father, like son] A son is usually like his father in the wayhe acts. — A proverb. Frank’s father has been on the city council;he is now the mayor, and is running for governor. Frank is on thestudent council and is likely to he class president. Like father, likeson. Mr. Jones and Tommy are ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы Father’s Day[Father’s Day] {n.} The third Sunday in June set aside especiallyto honor fathers whether living or dead. The children gave nicepresents to their father on Father’s Day....
20. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one dayFather, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, «Mummy, what is that long thing?» His mother replies, «That, son, ... Читать далее...
21. The Funeral of Julius Caesar, 44 BCEHow after the murder of Julius Caesar (15th of March, 44 B. C.) Marcus Antonius (Mark Antony), his friend, and, in virtue of the consulship, chief magistrate, roused the Roman multitude against the assassins by his famous funeral oration is known mainly through the incomparable version given by Shakespeare [Julius Caesar: Act II, Scene 2]. ... Читать далее...
22. The way he diedA person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that he wouldn’t make it through the night. So the person calls for his lawyer and asks him to come and sit by his bed. ... Читать далее...
23. Naming your childThere was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was ... Читать далее...
24. My Father — Мой отецMy father is the best father in the world. His name is An-drey. His second name is Vasilievich and family name is Kravenko. He is 43. My dad is an engineer. He works at an industrial plant. In the childhood, my dad was a very smart boy. He knew everything. When he finished school, he ... Читать далее...
25. Giving Bad News and CondolencesI was at the hospital at with my friend, Wendy. Her father was in an accident and she was waiting to talk to the doctor. Doctor: Hello, I’m Dr. Johnson. How are you holding up? Wendy: Oh, I’m fine. Is there any news? Doctor: Yes. I have examined your father’s Test results and I’m afraid ... Читать далее...
26. An old man was critically illAn old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. «I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?» «It’s $50,000,» the lawyer said. «But why? You’ll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?» «That’s my business! ... Читать далее...
27. A rancher from Central Arizona died and went onA rancher from Central Arizona died and went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, «Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Arizona.» «The gatekeeper replied, «First of all, I’m not Saint Peter…and second, ... Читать далее...
28. A cattleman from West Texas diedA cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, «Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas.» «The gatekeeper replied, «First of all, I’m not Saint Peter and ... Читать далее...
29. Reading an ObituaryIvy: This is so sad! Stephan: What is? Ivy: I’m reading the Obituary for one of my favorite actors as a child, Mr. McBoo. He had Quite a life. Stephan: Oh, yeah? Ivy: Yeah, and this article has really Done him justice. It’s a nice Tribute to a man who Touched so many lives. It ... Читать далее...
30. Пословица / поговорка like father, like son — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: like father, like son Перевод: каков отец, таков и сын Эквивалент в русском языке: яблочко от яблони недалеко падает Пример: The boy always copied his father. It was very much like father, like son. Мальчик всегда повторял повадки своего отца. Действительно, каков отец, таков и сын....
31. A lawyer named Strange diedA lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, «Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.» The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы fall due[fall due] or [come] or [become due] {v. phr.} To reach the timewhen a bill or invoice is to be paid. Our car payment falls due onthe first of every month....
33. Naming the kidsOne day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard’s idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing ... Читать далее...
34. Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby storkTwo storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. «Don’t worry Son, your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.» The next night, its fathers turn to do the job. «Son, your father will ... Читать далее...
35. Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversationTwo men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said, «You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation: A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Lately, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter ... Читать далее...
36. Three girls died and were brought to the gatesThree girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, «Before entering you must answer this simple question.» «Which is…?», they replied in unison. «Have you been a good girl?», he asked the first girl. ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы choke up[choke up] {v.} 1a. To come near losing calmness or self-control from strong feeling; be upset by your feelings. When one speaker after another praised John, he choked up and couldn’t thank them. When Father tried to tell me how glad he was to see me safe after the accident, he choked up and was ... Читать далее...
38. Ne day, this man, Tony, diedOne day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could ... Читать далее...
39. When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heavenWhen the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven. «Sorry, old man,» Peter said, «But I can’t let you in. You see the big book here says you committed one unpardonable sin back in 1978 — You took the Lord’s name in vain during a golf game.» «Oh, yes. I’ll never ... Читать далее...
40. Her father was very angry when he heard that hisHer father was very angry when he heard that his twenty year old daughter had hitch hiked all alone, all the way from San Francisco to Washington. «For gods sake!» he screamed, «Someone could have attacked you and raped you!» «I wasn’t ever in no danger at all», she said, trying to calm him down. ... Читать далее...