Two Scotsmen met 25 years after their last get-together

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1. Перевод идиомы up in years / advanced in years / along in years / on in years, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: up in years / advanced in years / along in years / on in years Перевод: старый, пожилой Пример: Although our grandparents are up in years they still have much energy. Хоть наши дедушка и бабушка уже пожилые, они все еще полны энергии....
2. Перевод слова mate Mate – помощник, приятель, товарищ Перевод слова I say, mate! – послушай, приятель! machinist’s mate – помощник машиниста cook’s mate – помощник кока What’s the time, Mate? Который час, приятель? I told my Mates some of these facts on returning. По возвращении я рассказал моим приятелям о некоторых из этих фактов. The first Mate was […]...
3. Paddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holiday Paddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holiday in Australia. His mate asked him what it was like. “Australia’s a great place!” Paddy replied. “First they take you home and fill you so full of piss you can’t stand up. Then, to top it off, they let you fuck their women whenever you […]...
4. Diver Has Visited The Same Friendly Fish For 25 Years Beneath the surface of Japan’s Tateyama Bay stands a shrine called a torii, sacred to the Shinto religion. But more than being a place of spiritual importance, the underwater site is host to something else that’s remarkable – a unique friendship between a man and a fish. For more than two decades, a local diver […]...
5. Перевод слова friendship Friendship – дружба, дружелюбие Перевод слова Ties of the closest friendship – узы теснейшей дружбы there is a great friendship between them – они очень дружны to show friendship – проявлять дружелюбие Their Friendship ripened into love. Их дружба переросла в любовь. Theirs is only a shallow Friendship. У них некрепкая дружба. He puts a […]...
6. Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, “F. F.” His wife turned to him and answered, “E. F.” Out on the highway, he […]...
7. The Bachelor Diet Monday Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” – those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have […]...
8. After years of psychotherapy After years of psychotherapy, John no longer believes he is a grain of wheat. However, one day he and a friend came across a chicken, and John was terrified. “Why are you so afraid, you’re not a grain of wheat after all,” his friend asked. John replied, “You know it and I know it, but […]...
9. The bachelor’s diet Bachelor’s Diet MONDAY: BREAKFAST – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and […]...
10. Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. “So, how’s life been for you?” Ed asked. “Not too good,” Ted replied. “My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son’s in prison for […]...
11. A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Oh, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to […]...
12. A small dissapointment Two GI’s in the Vietnam war have been stuck in a trench for three days when one needs a shit. “I can’t go in here” he says” It’s really going to stink” “There’s another trench over there” says the other. “I’ll cover you with the M60…. just give me a shout and and i’ll cover […]...
13. For three years, the young attorney had been taking his For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he’d finally managed an affair with the innkeeper’s daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant […]...
14. It’s not a dance Two prisoners were having a chat. The first one said. “I’ve go two tickets for the warden’s ball, Do you want to buy one?” “No thanks, mate,” said the second guy. “I can’t dance.” “It’s not a dance, mate,” said the first prisoner. “It’s a raffle!”...
15. The last request Father O’Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears. “What’s bothering you so, dear?” inquired Farther O’Grady. “Oh, father, I’ve got terrible news.” Replied Mary. “Well what is it, Mary?” “Well, my husband, passed away last night, […]...
16. A man running a little behind schedule arrives A man running a little behind schedule arrives at a picture theatre, goes in to watch the movie that has already started, and as his eyes adjust to the darkness, he is surprised to see a dog sitting beside its master in the row ahead, intently watching the movie. It even seemed to be enjoying […]...
17. A merchant captain and several of his officers A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after a big night ashore. As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted, “Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting on me!” The following morning the […]...
18. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
19. Two mates are having a chat over a beer Two mates are having a chat over a beer. “Do you like sheilas with bad body odour and bad breath?” one bloke asks his friend. “No way!” his mate replies. “Well,” says the first bloke, “do you like pussies you could hide a watermelon in?” “Fuck no!” his mate replies. “Well,” says the first bloke, […]...
20. Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to […]...
21. Значение идиомы eye [eye] See: APPLE OF ONE’S EYE, BAT AN EYE or BAT AN EYELASH, BELIEVE ONE’S EYES, CATCH ONE’S EYE, CLEAR-EYED, CLOSE ONE’S EYES orSHUT ONE’S EYES, EYES OPEN, EYE OUT, EYE TO, FEAST ONE’S EYES ON, FOUR-EYES, GET THE EYE, GIVE THE EYE, GREEN-EYED MONSTER, HALF AN EYE, HAVE AN EYE ON, HAVE EYES ONLY […]...
22. A man took his Rottweiler to the vet A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said “My dog’s cross – eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” said the vet, “lets have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. “Hmm,” says the vet, “I’m going to have […]...
23. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. “Don’t worry,” he said, “Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.” So he went home feeling […]...
24. Значение идиомы bore to tears [bore to tears] {v. phr.} To fill with tired dislike; tire by dullness or the same old thing bore. The party was dull and Roger showed plainly that he was bored to tears. Mary loved cooking, but sewing bores her to tears....
25. Перевод слова mist Mist – туман, дымка Перевод слова Curling mist – клубящийся туман a mantle of mist – завеса тумана mist of tears – пелена слез The Mist thickened. Сгустился туман. The hills were clothed in Mist. Холмы покрывал туман. Her eyes Misted over with tears. Ее глаза затуманились от слез....
26. Перевод слова tear Tear – слеза; прореха, дыра, изнашиваться Перевод слова Tear gas canister – баллон со слезоточивым газом a tear in a dress – дыра на платье this silk tears easily – этот шелк легко рвется to shed tears – проливать слезы Her eyes were Tearing. Ее глаза слезились. He Tore the letter from my hand. Он […]...
27. Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like drink. The minister replied […]...
28. A rather novel way to A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other. “So what’s going on here?” he asks. The bikie replies “My mate here has […]...
29. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
30. Lost all my luggage McAteer arrived at J. F. K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. “No,” replied McAteer. “I’ve lost all me luggage!” “How’d that happen?” “The cork fell out,” said the Irishman....
31. A blonde went to the appliance store sale A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman. “Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry we don’t sell […]...
32. Don’t Forget! An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor […]...
33. An old man is sitting on the park bench crying An old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another old man sits down next to him and says, “Mister, what’s the problem?” The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, “I’ve got this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do is make love from the moment […]...
34. A town in Poland had only one cow A town in Poland had only one cow and it stopped giving milk. The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2000 rubles – or one from Minsk for only 1000 rubles. So, naturally, — they got the cow from Minsk. It was a great cow: had […]...
35. An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water. “That way,” he said, “You get an extra day out of them between drinks.” As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel’s balls. The camel […]...
36. Уроки по английскому языку – Урок 90 A Scotsman who was driving* home one night ran*1 into a car driven* by an Englishman. The Scot got* out of the car to apologise and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to2 have a drink. “- Go on, said the Scot, have another drink. The Englishman […]...
37. A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever […]...
38. Playtonic relationship A nosey neighbour remonstrated with the woman in the adjoining apartment. “Mrs Smith, do you think it is right that a seventeen year old boy spends three hours every night in your apartment?” Mrs Smith replied. “Its a platonic friendship. Its play for him and a tonic for me.”...
39. This fellow comes to confession This fellow comes to confession. “Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned.” The priest asked, “What did you do, my son?” “I lusted,” the fellow replied. “Tell me about it,” the priest said. The fellow then related his story. “Father, I am a deliveryman for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in […]...
40. Перевод слова drink Drink – пить, напиток Перевод слова Long drink – стакан пива in drink – пьяный; в пьяном виде to drink air – жадно глотать воздух Oh for a Drink! Ах, как хочется пить! I need a Drink. Мне надо выпить. I owe you a Drink. Я должен тебе выпивку....