Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to

Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to

Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to find out whether computer is male or female: one group was male, and the other group was female.

The group of women reported that computers should be refereed to as «HE» because:

1. In order to get their attention you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems but half the time they are the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a newer and better model.

The group of men reported that computers should be refered to as «SHE» because:

1. No one but the creator understands their logic. 2. The native language they use to talk to other computers is incomprehensible to anyone else. 3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.



Линкольн биография на английском.
Interesting places in the usa.

Related topics:

  1. Are computers males or females? TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALEAre computers males or females? You decide. TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE: 5. They’re heavily dependent on external tools and equipment. 4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you’ve established a network connection. 3. They’ll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won’t do more than ... Читать далее...
  2. Computers are femaleThe top six reasons computers must be female: 6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner. 5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic. 4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. 3. The native language used to communicate with other ... Читать далее...
  3. Значение идиомы out of order[out of order] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. In the wrong order; notcoming after one another in the right way. Peter wrote the words ofthe sentence out of order. Don’t get out of order, children. Stayin your places in line. Contrast: IN ORDER. 2. In poor condition; notworking properly. Our television set is out of ... Читать далее...
  4. Значение идиомы in order[in order] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. In arrangement; in the properway of following one another. Come to my desk in alphabetical orderas I call your names. Line up and walk to the door in order. Name all the presidents in order. Compare: IN TURN. 2. In propercondition. The car was in good working order ... Читать далее...
  5. Types of computer virusesAdam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are ... Читать далее...
  6. Перевод идиомы tall order / larger order, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: tall order / larger order Перевод: трудная задача; труднодостижимая цель; задача не из легких Пример: Finishing in time was a tall order but we did it. Закончить вовремя было трудной задачей, но мы справились....
  7. Перевод слова computerComputer — компьютер Перевод слова Personal computer — персональный компьютер all-purpose computer — многоцелевой компьютер to run a computer — работать на компьютере My Computer’s gone haywire. С моим комьютером происходит что-то неладное. My Computer went nuts on me. Мой компьютер стал выдавать мне какую-то ерунду. My Computer is working slow. Мой компьютер работает медленно. ... Читать далее...
  8. The invention of the ComputerВ небольшом топике Изобретение компьютера рассказывается о том, что первый проект был разработан уже в середине 1830-х годов, но только более чем через столетие компьютер вошел в нашу жизнь. Сейчас трудно представить, как мы обходились без ПК, планшетов, интернета и электронной почты. Personal computers are now commonplace in most homes throughout the world, and are ... Читать далее...
  9. Computer RevolutionТопик Компьютерная революция рассказывает о том, как много преимуществ получил человек с момента изобретения компьютера. Например, они экономят много времени и редко ошибаются; намного быстрее и проще получить информацию в Интернете, чем просмотреть горы книг в библиотеке; покупки в онлайн-магазинах тоже экономят наше время и деньги; а отправить письмо по электронной почте – быстрее и ... Читать далее...
  10. Значение идиомы order[order] See: APPLE-PIE-ORDER, CALL TO ORDER, IN ORDER, IN ORDER TO, IN SHORT ORDER, JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED, MADE TO ORDER, OUT OFORDER, PUT ONE’S HOUSE IN ORDER or SET ONE’S HOUSE IN ORDER, SHORTORDER COOK, TO ORDER, WALKING PAPERS or WALKING ORDERS....
  11. Ordering fast foodThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. One night, a few co-workers at the computer data centre where I work stayed late and we all started to get hungry. We decided to order in food by phone, but our ... Читать далее...
  12. Describing Order and SequencePatrick: Okay, your first Task is To put all of these files in order. Maya: Wow, there must be hundreds of files in this Storeroom. How am I supposed to organize them? Patrick: Create a basic Filing system. Put things in Sequence. If they’re Labeled with dates, put them in Chronological order. If they’re labeled ... Читать далее...
  13. Video and Computer GamesVideo and computer games are extremely popular nowadays. A lot of people play computer games in order to escape dull reality and to fight with horrible monsters or to save the world from hostile aliens. Video and computer games give one the opportunity to plunge into exciting adventures: to explore complicated mazes, to combat frightful ... Читать далее...
  14. Компьютер/ ComputerНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Computer Компьютер Computers have drastically changed everyone’s lives. Several decades ago people haven’t even known anything about these electronic devices, whereas nowadays even a small child can operate this machine. Almost all modern technology depends on computers, which are used for data storage: files, secret information, bank transactions ... Читать далее...
  15. The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to orderThe manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: «I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.» He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. ... Читать далее...
  16. Перевод слова orderOrder — очередность, порядок; приказ, заказ Перевод слова Body of the order — основной текст приказа to order a brandy — заказать стакан бренди established order — установленный порядок the anticipated order of the events — предполагаемая последовательность событий Everything is in Order. Все в порядке. The Order came by mail. Заказ пришел по почте. ... Читать далее...
  17. Guinea pig to become father to 400 after breaking into female enclosureRandy escaped his male only enclosure at Hatton Adventure World in Warwick and broke into the female-only area. Staff at Hatton Country World in Warwickshire couldn’t understand why they suddenly had 100 pregnant guinea pigs on their hands — until they released one of the male rodents had managed to escape his enclosure and infiltrate ... Читать далее...
  18. Pray hardA lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, «Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.» «What do they say?» the priest inquired. «They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?» «That’s obscene!» the priest exclaimed, ... Читать далее...
  19. Перевод слова maleMale — мужчина, мужской, мужского пола Перевод слова Male voice choir — мужской хор male fern — мужской папоротник male midwife — акушер male pigeon — голубь-самец A Male duck is a drake. Самец утки — это селезень. The Male has a white breast. У самцов грудка белая. Does Christianity promote Male domination over women? ... Читать далее...
  20. Значение идиомы to order[to order] {adv. phr.} According to directions given in an order inthe way and size wanted. The manufacturer built the machine toorder. A very big man often has his suits made to order. 2. See:CALL TO ORDER....
  21. College DormOn the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: «The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.» He continued, «Anybody caught breaking this rule the ... Читать далее...
  22. A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating centerA hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and registered his qualifications. He wanted someone who enjoyed water sports, liked company, favored formal attire, and was very small. The computer operated faultlessly. It sent him a penguin....
  23. Значение идиомы put one’s house in order[put one’s house in order] or [set one’s house in order] {v. phr.}To arrange your affairs in good order. Grandfather knew he wouldnot live long and set his house in order. When Mr. Black died, hislawyer helped the widow put her house in order....
  24. Перевод слова dataData — данные, сведения Перевод слова Collected data — накопленные данные compilation of data — сбор и обработка данных to convert data — преобразовывать данные Computers process Data. Компьютеры обрабатывают данные. Do you control these Data? Вы обладаете этими данными? He misread the Data. Он неправильно прочел данные. Примеры из жизни Существует множество составных слов ... Читать далее...
  25. In jailThis exchange was overheard between the separated sections of the jail. A male voice yells over to the female side: «I got 12 inches over here you would love to have.» The female response was: «Well, spit it out it isn’t yours.»...
  26. A customer sent an order to a distributorA customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, «We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.» The next day ... Читать далее...
  27. Значение идиомы call to order[call to order] {v. phr.} 1. To open formally. The chairman called the committee to order. The president pounded with his gavel to call the convention to order. 2. To warn not to break the rules of a meeting. The judge called the people in the courtroom to order when they talked too loud....
  28. Computer revolution — Компьютерная революция50 years ago people didn’t even heard of computers, and today we cannot imagine life without them. Computer technology is the fastest-growing industry in the world. The first computer was the size of a minibus and weighed a ton. Today, its job can be done by a chip the size of a pin head. And ... Читать далее...
  29. Idiots on the computerAny time you feel dumb, don’t worry. Check out the following excerpts from a «Wall Street Journal» article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you. 1. Compaq is considering changing the command «Press Any Key» to «Press Return Key» because of the many calls asking where the «Any» key is. 2. AST ... Читать далее...
  30. THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT CONSENT FORMName:______________________________ SOCIAL SECURITY No:____________________ ADDRESS:___________________________ CITY:__________________________________ STAFF ELEMENT:_____________________ HOME PHONE No.:________________________ MALE:___________ FEMALE:___________ OFFICE PHONE No.:______________________ SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Male — Female Female — Female Male — Male All of the Above None of the Above — Please Specify: _____________________ I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT: Salutatory Greeting: _____________________ Eye-to-Eye Contact: ______________________ Eye-to-Bust ... Читать далее...
  31. Buying Computer AccessoriesGinger: It’s really nice of you to come with me to buy my computer. This is the Desktop I’m thinking about. Kevin: This is okay, but if I were you, I’d buy a Laptop. It’s more Versatile. You can travel with it. Ginger: I’m not sure about getting a laptop. The Screen is so small. ... Читать далее...
  32. Buying Computer AccessoriesGinger: It’s really nice of you to come with me to buy my computer. This is the Desktop I’m thinking about. Kevin: This is okay, but if I were you, I’d buy a Laptop. It’s more Versatile. You can travel with it. Ginger: I’m not sure about getting a laptop. The Screen is so small. ... Читать далее...
  33. Placing a Business OrderJessie: Good morning. This is Jessie Lipman calling from Wexman. I wanted to Place an order. Rudy: Certainly. Are you Ordering from our catalog? Jessie: Yes, I have the Item numbers. But, before I place the new order, I wanted to check on some items we have on Backorder. Rudy: Sure, let me pull up ... Читать далее...
  34. Значение идиомы large order[large order] {n. phr.} Difficult job; a difficult task to fulfill. It is a large order to educate three children in college at thesame time. Compare: TALL ORDER....
  35. Breaching Computer SecurityJin: Did you hear what happened to McQ Corp? Dina: No, what? Jin: Hackers were able to get Unauthorized access to its computer systems and cause a lot of problems over the weekend. They destroyed Data and Rendered the system Unusable. In fact, the entire system Crashed. Dina: I hadn’t heard that. Why McQ Corp? ... Читать далее...
  36. A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty yearsA farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he’s been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female. «No! I’m not doing it anymore!» ... Читать далее...
  37. Значение идиомы apple-pie order[apple-pie order] {n. phr.}, {informal} Exact orderly arrangement, neatness; tidy arrangement. The house was in apple-pie order. Like a good secretary, she kept the boss’s desk in apple-pie order....
  38. Значение идиомы made to order[made to order] {adj. phr.} 1. Made specially in the way the buyerwants instead of all the same in large amounts; made especially forthe buyer. Mr. Black’s clothes were all made to order. Compare:MADE-TO-MEASURE. 2. Just right. The weather was made to order forthe hike....
  39. Значение идиомы take-out order[take-out order] {n. phr.} An order in a restaurant that one doesnot eat on the premises, but takes home. The new Chinese restauranton the corner sells nice take-out orders....
  40. Computer gamesВ топике Компьютерные игры приводятся аргументы «за» и «против» того, что подростки проводят слишком много времени за компьютером, играя в бесконечные игры. У этого времяпрепровождения есть и плюсы и минусы. Каждый выбирает сам, но можно часть времени посвятить и спорту на свежем воздухе, и встречам с друзьями. Computer games are gaining more and more popularity ... Читать далее...

Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to