Three mice are sitting in a bar talking
Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, “I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.” And with that he slams another shot. The second mouse slams down a shot and says, “That’s nothing. I take those Decon tablets, cut ’em up, and snort ’em just for the fun of it.” And with that he slams another shot. The third mouse slams down a shot, gets up and walks away. The first two mice look at each other, and then turn to the third mouse and ask, “Where the hell are you going?” The third mouse stops and replies, “I’m going home to fuck the cat.”
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)Related topics:
- Пословица / поговорка when the cat’s away the mice will play – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: when the cat’s away the mice will play Перевод: без кота мышам раздолье Пример: The teacher returned to the classroom and everyone was running around. It was a perfect example that when the cat’s away the mice will play. Когда учитель вернулся, все бегали по классу. Это было отличным примером того, что […]...
- Bet made at the local bar A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy […]...
- A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in. “Get a load of her” said the mouse, “what a babe!” “Well, why not try your luck?” replied the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five minutes […]...
- Three guys were sitting in a bar talking Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the […]...
- Talking About Sound and Volume Delilah: Could you Turn that down? Josh: What? Delilah: Could you turn your music down? Josh: Oh, sure. Is there a problem? Delilah: No, there’s no problem. I was just trying to do some reading and the Ear-splitting music coming from your room made it hard To concentrate. Josh: Sorry. I didn’t think it was […]...
- There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son’s room and says “Son do you remember that session I arranged for you […]...
- Значение идиомы a hell of [a hell of] a [or one hell of a] {adj. or adv. phr.}, {informal} Extraordinary; very. He made a hell of a shot during the basketball game. Max said seven months was a hell of a time to have to wait for a simple visa. The fall Max took left one hell of a bruise […]...
- An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the mouse says: “Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot..” The eagle says “what […]...
- Talking to a Mechanic Mechanic: Hi, I’m the Mechanic. What can I do for you? Amy: My car is making a very weird noise. It sounds like this: gulug, gulug, gulug… Mechanic: Hm, that doesn’t sound good. Where is it coming from? Amy: I’m not sure. When I’m in the car, it sounds like it’s coming from the Engine, […]...
- There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer. Up walks a so called “lady of the night”. She says, “For $300.00, I’ll do anything you want.” Our fine lad thinks for a moment then says: Ok. Paint my house, bitch!...
- The Lion and the Mouse Once when a Lion was asleep a little Mouse began running up and down upon him; this soon wakened the Lion, who placed his huge paw upon him, and opened his big jaws to swallow him. “Pardon, O King,” cried the little Mouse: “forgive me this time, I shall never forget it: who knows but […]...
- A talking Frog A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back […]...
- A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, “If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?” “Hell no!” the guy said. The stranger then asked, “If you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used […]...
- An old man is sitting on the park bench crying An old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another old man sits down next to him and says, “Mister, what’s the problem?” The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, “I’ve got this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do is make love from the moment […]...
- Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when in walks a Nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to eat. Astonished, one of them says, “I went to my parents wedding last week and we all got rat-arsed.” Being quick on the uptake the second one says, ” […]...
- The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. “Ma,” he shouted, “the results are in. I won the election!” “Honestly?” The politician’s smiled faded. “Aw hell, […]...
- There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically trying to climb up. While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says, “God bless you children, that’s Christianity at work. May the lord bless […]...
- A lusty camel A man rented a camel to make a trip to an important customer out in the desert. There was only one camel available, and it had one little problem, the guy told him. Periodically, this camel would stop and refuse to move until somebody beat it off. The man is desperate, so he decides he […]...
- One night a man heard howls coming from his basement One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse’s confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Sheppard. The […]...
- Значение идиомы hell [hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
- Перевод слова mouse Mouse – мышь Перевод слова As poor as a church mouse – бедный, как церковная мышь to click a mouse button – кликнуть кнопкой мыши cat-and-mouse game – игра в кошки-мышки What’s the plural of ‘Mouse’? Как во множественном числе будет слово “мышь”? The cat laid a dead Mouse at my feet. Кот положил у […]...
- Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses “I want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days.” and Moses says “Yeah sure.” So Jesus gets up and says “I think I’ll walk on the water, that was always a good one.” So Jesus […]...
- This man was sitting quietly reading his paper This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: “What was that for?” Wife: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written […]...
- Two men were talking to each other about how pussy tastes Two men were talking to each other about how pussy taste. The first guy said”I think it taste like cherry pie”.The other guy said “I think it taste like shit”.Then the first guy said “you are supposed to turn her over”. $ $Sent by Don Chamberlin...
- IBM Memo about Peripheral Replacement IBM Memo about Peripheral Replacement This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us may find it rather funny. Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) Mouse balls are now available as FRU. […]...
- A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a […]...
- Capitalist and Socialist Hell A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, “What […]...
- There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says” Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.” The drunks replies,” I’m sorry I […]...
- Значение идиомы play cat and mouse with [play cat and mouse with] {v. phr.} To tease or fool bypretending to let him go free and then catching him again. Joe’suncle had fun playing cat and mouse with him. The policemandecided to play cat and mouse when he saw the woman steal the dress inthe store....
- Talking About Time Juanita: What time is it? Chuck: It’s A quarter to 12. Why? Juanita: At Noon, on the dot, I’m supposed to meet James. Chuck: On the dot? What if you don’t get there until a few minutes Past four? Will you turn into a pumpkin? Juanita: Knock it off. I have good reason to be […]...
- Перевод слова hell Hell – ад, преисподня; черт (ругательство) Перевод слова To make smb.’s life a hell – превратить чью-л. жизнь в ад to suffer through hell – переносить муки ада oh hell! – черт возьми! hell of a way – чертовски далеко Who the Hell are you? Кто ты такой, черт побери? To Hell with the flaming […]...
- A city boy was visiting the country and A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy […]...
- Перевод идиомы at one sitting / in one sitting, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: at one sitting / in one sitting Перевод: за один раз, в один присест Пример: We finished the food at one sitting. Мы все съели в один присест....
- A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly he notices a fine looking hooker looking at him. He stops, bangs on the window and says,”So, what does this cost??!!”. And the hooker replies,”25 dollars!!”. And the Pollock said,”Hmm, that’s not a lot of money for insulated windows!!”....
- A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder…the bartender looks up and says ” where the hell did you get that thing? The Parrot replies ” Over in Africa, there’s millions of them ” !!!!...
- Talking About Attractive Men and Women Pamela: You know that your tongue is hanging out of your mouth, right? David: That’s because I’ve never seen so many beautiful women in one place before. Why have I never been to this beach before? Look at her! She’s a Hottie! Pamela: Isn’t that what you said about that woman over there? David: No, […]...
- A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window […]...
- Nature of Hell A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.” Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when […]...
- A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of […]...
- Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on, standing in front of him, he looks up at her private parts he asks “What’s that mum? ” His mum frozen tried to think what to say, finally she came up with the following, “That’s where your dad accidentially hit me […]...