Three Chinese daughters

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1. Finding a Chinese JewSid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. «Sid,» asked Al, «are there any Jews in China?» «I don’t know,» Sid replied. «Why don’t we ask the waiter?» When the waiter came by, Al asked him, «Are there any Chinese Jews?» «I don’t know sir, let me ask,» the waiter replied, and he went ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова ChineseChinese — китаец, китаянка, китайский Перевод слова Chinese characters — китайские иероглифы the Chinese government — китайское правительство indo chinese — индокитайский She works in a Chinese takeaway. Она работает в ресторане китайской еды на вынос. We ordered some Chinese takeout. Мы заказали некоторые китайские блюда с собой. He is learning to speak Chinese. Он ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова marryMarry — жениться Перевод слова To marry off a daughter — выдать дочь замуж to marry legally — жениться по закону marry beneath one — вступить в неравный брак I will never Marry you! Я никогда не женюсь на тебе! I asked her to Marry me. Я попросил ее выйти за меня замуж. She consented ... Читать далее...
4. A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who wereA farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, «I’m Eddie, I’m here to pick up Betty. We’re going for spaghetti, is she ready?» No. The second beau came to the door and said, «I’m Joe, I’m here to pick ... Читать далее...
5. Chinese learned thisTime sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chiese lands. Top Ten Things The Chinese Have Learned By Examining Our ... Читать далее...
6. Chinese plane crashTime sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands. In a heroic dogfight, fought over international waters off the ... Читать далее...
7. A Family of ScientistsGeorge Boole was born in 1815. He is famous for his works in the field of mathematical analysis. His wife Mary Everest was a niece of George Everest. He is known as a man who performed topographic survey in India on a large scale in 1841. It is after him that the highest peak in ... Читать далее...
8. A mother-daughter conversationA mother and daughter are sitting down over afternoon tea. The mother wants to show her daughter that she’s a hip parent and tries to get her daughter to open up and talk about dating boys and what it’s like for her. Mom: So….now that you have started dating, what’s it like getting intimate with ... Читать далее...
9. Learning Chinese termsChinese Phrase: English Translation Ai Bang Mai Ne: I bumped into the coffee table Chin Tu Fat: You need a face lift Gun Pao Der: An ancient Chinese invention Hu Flung Dung: Which one of you fertilized the field? Hu Yu Hai Ding: We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive Jan Ne ... Читать далее...
10. A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is toldA man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre’d that there will be at least a twenty minute wait. «Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?», he says. The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, «What’ll it be?» The man replies, «Give me a Stoli with ... Читать далее...
11. Forget your daughterWell the King’s daughter was into her mid twenties, and the king didn’t want his princess to be an old maid. The princess wasn’t the most beautiful of women, and wasn’t having any luck finding a suitable husband. The King finally decided to take matters into his own hand. He had flyers printed up and ... Читать далее...
12. A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coatA woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary. «HA,» he snorted, «The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!» On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrusts her pubic area forward. «There! I ... Читать далее...
13. Hair on my chestA woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary. «HA!» he snorted. «The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!» On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrust her pubic area forward, «There! I ... Читать далее...
14. A chinese detectiveA man suspected his wife was cheating on him, so when he left town, he hired a famous Chinese detective to investigate. A few days later he received this letter. Most Honorable Sir, You leave house, He come to house. He and she leave house, I follow. He and she go to hotel, I climb ... Читать далее...
15. Not this timeThere was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally became pregnant, and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his ... Читать далее...
16. Chinese Fire DrillOne joke that we did in residence was the Chinese Fire Drill, I don’t quite know why it is called that. Anyway.. The victim is on the pot in the dorm washroom. Everyone grabs a bucket (we used the waste baskets from our rooms) and fills the buckets with water. Take a paper bag and ... Читать далее...
17. Китайская кухня/ Chinese CuisineНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Chinese Cuisine Китайская кухня Chinese cuisine is one of my favourites. I know that it’s rather old and full of authentic traditions. Over the time there were added some foreign ingredients, but the core of the cuisine remained unchanged. Perhaps the most famous Chinese dishes include fried rice, ... Читать далее...
18. All the sameAn airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the First Officer is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and it’s obvious, by the silence, that they don’t get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: «I don’t like Chinese.» The First Officer replies: «Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why ... Читать далее...
19. Marriage quotes 15All marriages are happy — it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn’t agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don’t love me ... Читать далее...
20. A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a partyA whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party were discussing the problem of one of their daughters, who looked very much as though she were planning to marry a Gentile boy. Everyone was disturbed about it, and I could not help interrupting. «Why not?» said I. «Let her marry a Gentile boy. I’m all ... Читать далее...
21. How Yao Ming appeased the Chinese appetite for shark fin soupYao Ming has become a hero for both basketball fans and animal lovers alike. The 7-foot-6 retired Chinese NBA player has partnered with WildAid for the last five years to help stem the demand for shark fin soup in his home country. Together, Yao and WildAid have raised awareness about the realities of a perceived ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова chestChest — грудная клетка, ящик, коробка Перевод слова Medicine chest — домашняя аптечка weak chest — слабые легкие chest case — раненный в грудь He was shot in the Chest. Его уложили выстрелом в грудь. He has a broad Chest. У него широкая грудная клетка. The Chest was bagged up with money. Сундук только что ... Читать далее...
23. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «Command of Chinese and English»Benny Бенни Sometimes you would have to write the instructions yourself, and other times, you would have to translate the English handbook into Chinese. This task requires you to have a strong Command of both Chinese and English. Would you be able to do this? Иногда тебе самой придется писать инструкции, а может и придется ... Читать далее...
24. Pecuniary reasonsA few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, «Does this fellow have any money?» The daughter shook her head sadly. «Oh Daddy! You men are all alike.» sighing deeply, she replied, «That’s exactly what he asked me about you.»...
25. Значение идиомы ground[ground] See: BREAK GROUND, COMMON GROUND, COVER GROUND or COVERTHE GROUND, CUT THE GROUND FROM UNDER, EAR TO THE GROUND, FEET ON THEGROUND, GAIN GROUND, GET OFF THE GROUND, GIVE GROUND, HAPPY HUNTINGGROUND, HOLD ONE’S GROUND, LOSE GROUND, MIDDLE GROUND, RUN INTO THEGROUND, STAMPING GROUND, STAND ONE’S GROUND, FROM THE GROUND UP....
26. Значение идиомы on one’s chest[on one’s chest] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Hidden in your thoughts orfeelings and bothering you; making you feel worried or upset; that issomething you want to talk to someone about. Jane looks unhappybecause she has the quarrel with Susan on her chest. «Well, Dave,»said the coach, «You look sad — what’s on your chest?» Compare: ONONE’S ... Читать далее...
27. A Blind Mans SportA Blind Mans Sport A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: «I am placed in the door and told when to jump» «My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go» «But how ... Читать далее...
28. Manly signs«Doctor, doctor!» shouted the woman coming into the doctors offfice. «I think I’m turning into a man» then the doctor says, » Now hold on little lady what makes you think that you’re turning into a man?» » Well» said the woman «I’m starting to grow hair on my chest» and then the doctor asked, ... Читать далее...
29. A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball rightA guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, «How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way.» ... Читать далее...
30. My daughter is your rewardOnce there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, «My dear guests. . . I have a proposition to ... Читать далее...
31. Перевод слова daughterDaughter — дочь; порождение, отпрыск Перевод слова Only daughter — единственная дочь daughter card — плата более низкого уровня daughter company — дочерняя компания Stay away from my Daughter! Держись подальше от моей дочери! Can your Daughter count yet? Ваша дочь уже умеет считать? The United States is a Daughter of Great Britain. Великобритания — ... Читать далее...
32. Good fortuneA man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around: nobody’s there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest ... Читать далее...
33. And I will do anything for loveThe beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, …don’t reject the ... Читать далее...
34. A Marriage Proposal II have been trying to Get up the nerve to ask my girlfriend to Marry me. We have been dating for almost a year and I think she’s The one. I went shopping for Engagement Rings and really hated the experience. I wasn’t sure what kind of ring she’d like and it took me a ... Читать далее...
35. Brand newA guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, «How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin.» The doc said, ... Читать далее...
36. Chinese SubtitlesFrom a list of English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong, Compiled by Stefan Hammond and Mike Wilkins for their book, to be published in August by Fireside. Cited in Harper’s, June 1996. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep. ... Читать далее...
37. To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nailsTo stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells her it’ll make her fat. «I won’t do it any more, Mom,» says the daughter. Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. «If I bite my fingernails, I’ll be as fat as that, won’t I Mom?» ... Читать далее...
38. Marriage quotes 06I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. — Dick Martin I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at ... Читать далее...
39. A lady was in a hardware store looking atA lady was in a hardware store looking at a fishing poles. She asked the store manager how much it was he said ‘I am blind drop it on the ground and i’ll tell ya. She dropped it on the ground.’Aahh that’s 10.00.’ She bent down and let a big fart that everyone heard. But, ... Читать далее...
40. A technical bastardA couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn’t, sent them off to get one. They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, ... Читать далее...