The headmistress at a girls’ prep school in the old South (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the officers: «We’re having a social here at school and I was wondering if you could send some of your nice young men to attend.» «Why of course,» the Lieutenant answers. «Just one thing,» says the lady. «Of course you’ll make sure there aren’t any Jews there.» «Why of course,» the Lieutenant answers. On the day of the dance, a bus pulls up from the base. Out comes a platoon of black GIs. The schoolmistress is quite distressed. «Why, why, there must be some mistake,» she says to a burly black Master Sergeant. «Why heck no, ma’am,» he replies. «Lt. Goldberg NEVER makes a mistake!»
Seven wonders с переводом.
Поставьте глаголы из скобок в форму present perfect continuous.
Related topics:
- Good girls vs. Bad girlsGood girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it. Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good girls blush during ... Читать далее...
- Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a LieutenantShortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant and his wife were invited to the Colonel’s home for an evening of bridge. The Lieutenant was partnered with the Colonel’s wife and vice versa. After many hands, the Lieutenant excused himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the door ajar. When the sound ... Читать далее...
- Mom, can little girls have babies?Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, «Mommy, can little girls have babies?» «No», said his mom, «of course not.» Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, «It’s okay, we can play that game again!»...
- Three girls died and were brought to the gatesThree girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, «Before entering you must answer this simple question.» «Which is…?», they replied in unison. «Have you been a good girl?», he asked the first girl. ... Читать далее...
- Two Girls, a Golden Balloon, and FateChance is a strange thing. Over the course of history, truly astonishing things have happened — the man who won the lottery twice in one day, or the woman who was struck by lightning four times, for instance — but most of these circumstances have been dissected by statisticians and scientists, and demystified. Sometimes though, ... Читать далее...
- Two young girls were talking about their sex livesTwo young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says, «Oh my god! , it was really great, but I was Sooo scared after his rubber broke. I didn’t get a good night’s sleep for a week.» «What happened.» Says her intrigued friend. «I didn’t know what I was going to ... Читать далее...
- My school (3)В топике Моя школа (3) я рассказываю об истории школы №1226 в Лефортово, где в настоящее время мы изучаем несколько предметов на английском языке, например, английскую и американскую литературу. В этом топике я даю описание нашей школы и описание школьного графика. Выполнение домашнего задания занимает много времени, ведь надо выучить много предметов. Многие ученики не ... Читать далее...
- My School (4)В топике Моя школа (4) я рассказываю о своем учебном расписании, о предметах, которые мы изучаем, и о своих любимых уроках английского языка. Мне очень нравятся каникулы, которые мы проводим трижды в год. В этом топике я подробно расскажу об оформлении нашей классной комнаты и о том, как обычно проходят наши уроки. Мне нравятся наши ... Читать далее...
- Mary came back from lunch to find that all the girlsMary came back from lunch to find that all the girls in the office had removed their clothes and were lying on the floor naked. She lost no time in taking off her dress and joining them, but as soon as she laid down the girl on her right hissed, «Turn over, Mary — this ... Читать далее...
- Little Johnny comes home from schoolLittle Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that «Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,» and would his mother,»please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.» So johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, ... Читать далее...
- This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girlsThis elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, «cough drops» and snickered. Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, «What are you doing here, m’am?» ... Читать далее...
- Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visitLittle Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit and he spots a deer. Being a city kid he’s never seen one before and so he asks his teacher, «What’s that, Miss?» Miss decides to play a word game with him and says, «That’s what your Daddy calls Mummy, Tommy.» Tommy thinks for a ... Читать далее...
- Getting a School Class ScheduleCarlos: Did you get your Class schedule? Marianne: Yeah. You? Carlos: Yeah. Let’s see if we have any classes together. I have PE with Mr. Lopez and Social studies with Ms. Walters. How about you? Marianne: I have PE with Ms. Schwartz and social studies with Ms. Eng. Who do you have for Geography? I’m ... Читать далее...
- Школьная форма/ School UniformНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык School Uniform Школьная форма School uniform is an integral part of school life in many countries. Most schools in Russia also require school uniforms. However, some school accept freestyle outfit. There are different opinions on how the standard school forms should look like. Some schools have dark blue ... Читать далее...
- A marine general, an army general and a navy admiralA marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, «Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!» The private reports as ordered, «Yes sir?» The general says, «See that man over there? Kill him!» Without ... Читать далее...
- Going to Business SchoolKarla: I just heard that you’re taking a Leave of absence to go to business school. Is that right? Joaquin: Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and have finally Taken the plunge. I need an MBA to get ahead in my career. Karla: That’s great, but why don’t you go part-time? ... Читать далее...
- As a sergeant in a parachute regimentAs a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in serveral night time excersises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. «Scared, Lieutenant?», I asked. He replied, «No, just a bit apperhensive.» I asked, «What’s ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова schoolSchool — школа, учебное заведение Перевод слова Business school — школа бизнеса school bus — школьный автобус experimental school — экспериментальная школа The School is close by. Школа расположена рядом. Down with School! К черту школу! School begins at 8.30. Занятия в школе начинаются в 8.30....
- Значение идиомы base[base] See: FIRST BASE, GET TO FIRST BASE or REACH FIRST BASE, LOAD THE BASES or FILL THE BASES, OFF BASE, SECOND BASE, STOLEN BASE, THIRD BASE....
- School Education in the USAThe federal government pays little attention to school education in the USA. There is neither a uniform school system in the USA, nor a uniform curriculum. Each state has its own system of schools. But there are some common features in the organization of school education in the country. Schools in the USA can be ... Читать далее...
- Spice Girls Application FormNeed a change? Here’s the Spice Girls Application Form Name: Age: Real Age: 1. How would you describe yourself? a. An energetic self starter b. A team player c. Pro-active d. A tasty bit of crumpet 2. Do you have any vestige of talent, besides your chest or butt? 3. Would it bother you if ... Читать далее...
- Impressing the othersA young Air Force 2nd Lieutenant had just arrived at Misawa AFB in Japan. He’d been given a beautiful renovated office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw an enlisted man come into his outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the officer picked up the phone and started to pretend ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы get to first base[get to first base] or [reach first base] {v. phr.} To make a goodstart; really begin; succeed, Joe had a long paper to write forhistory class, but when the teacher asked for it, Joe hadn’t got tofirst base yet. Suppose Sam falls in love with Betty. Can he evenget to first base with her? George ... Читать далее...
- Sport in My SchoolВ топике Спорт в моей школе — я расскажу, какую роль играет в моей жизни спорт. Каждый день я начинаю с зарядки, у нас в школе есть занятия по физической культуре. Кроме того, я посещаю секцию легкой атлетики. Что касается моих друзей, то они занимаются разными видами спорта. А еще в моей школе один раз ... Читать далее...
- A boy comes home from school and tells his motherA boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. «What part?» the mother asked. «I play a Jewish husband,» the boy replied. «Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!»...
- Driving school testThe following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова baseBase — основа, базис Перевод слова Mountain base — подножие горы base of the skull — основание черепа base motives — низменные побуждения One should always Base one’s opinion on facts. Всегда следует основывать свое мнение на фактах. Taxation is Based on income. Размер налога определяется доходом. Vodka is the Base for many cocktails. Водка ... Читать далее...
- An old italian couple is walking around in the mallAn old italian couple is walking around in the mall. After a while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and ask: «Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He’s got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?» The saleswoman answers that she hasn’t seen her ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы first base[first base] {n. phr.} 1. The base that must be touched first by abaseball player after batting. He got to first base on four balls. 2. See: GET TO FIRST BASE....
- Значение идиомы up against[up against] {prep. phr.} Blocked or threatened by. When sheapplied to medical school, the black woman wondered whether she was upagainst barriers of sex and race prejudice....
- Перевод слова mistakeMistake — ошибка, ошибаться, заблуждаться Перевод слова Costly mistake — ошибка, которая дорого обошлась ghastly mistake — грубая ошибка to mistake the time — спутать время Anyone can make a Mistake. Кто угодно может совершить ошибку. You are Mistaken. Вы ошибаетесь. Never mind your Mistake. Не беспокойтесь о своей ошибке....
- Значение идиомы bend over backward[bend over backward] or [lean over backward] {v. phr.}, {informal} To try so hard to avoid a mistake that you make the opposite mistake instead; do the opposite of something that you know you should not do; do too much to avoid doing the wrong thing; also, make a great effort; try very hard. Instead ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы school of hard knocks[school of hard knocks] {n. phr.} Life outside of school orcollege; life out in the world; the ordinary experience of learningfrom work and troubles. He never went to high school; he waseducated in the school of hard knocks....
- Слова на тему Школа (School), лексика и слова по темеPrimary school – начальная школа Secondary school – средняя школа A teacher – учитель A school principal (a headmaster, a headmistress) – директор школы An assistant principal – завуч A pupil – ученик A schoolboy (a schoolgirl) – школьник (школьница) A classmate – одноклассник School uniform – школьная форма A classroom – классная комната A ... Читать далее...
- School of My DreamMy name is Daria Kuznetsova. I’m a 7th form pupil. I’d like to tell you a few words about a school of my dream. The school where I study is also quite good but I think several things could be changed there. First of all, my dream school should be modern and well-equipped with large ... Читать далее...
- ZHow offensive is that?How offensive is that? Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize with Him. As Jesus looks out over the gathering he calls to one of his apostle’s. «Paul… Paul,» He calls out. Paul hears his name and comes ... Читать далее...
- Where are my pyjamas?A man calls his wife and says to her, «Honey, I just got the chance of a lifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss. Could you pack up my things so that they will be ready when I get home?» «Sure, honey,» his wife answers.»Oh, and could you please pack my ... Читать далее...
- School yearsВ топике Школьные годы я хочу поделиться тем, что я думаю о значении школы в жизни каждого человека. Школьные годы — прекрасное время, которое все стараются как можно быстрее пережить, а потом всю жизнь вспоминают с легким сожалением, поскольку его нельзя вернуть. Многие не любили школу, но, оглядываясь назад, понимают, что именно в то время ... Читать далее...
- During training exercises, the lieutenant driving downDuring training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red faced colonel at the wheel. «Your jeep stuck, sir?» asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. «Nope,» replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, «*Yours* is.»...
- A Drunk ScottsmanThere was a scottsman and he was too drunk to walk home from the bar. He decides to lay down a park bench and sleep. Tomorrow he would walk home after he was sober. In the morning two little girls are walking by to go to school when they see he is wearing his kilt. ... Читать далее...
The headmistress at a girls prep school