Spain Jokes

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1. A delicacyAn American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, «What is that you just served?» The waiter replied, » ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова SpainSpain — Испания Перевод слова The prepotent influence of Spain — господствующее влияние Испании King Philip II of Spain — Король Испании Филипп II The islands belong to Spain. Эти острова принадлежат Испании. They moved to somewhere in Spain. Они переехали куда-то в Испанию. We had a wonderful time in Spain. Мы замечательно провели время ... Читать далее...
3. Finding a Chinese JewSid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. «Sid,» asked Al, «are there any Jews in China?» «I don’t know,» Sid replied. «Why don’t we ask the waiter?» When the waiter came by, Al asked him, «Are there any Chinese Jews?» «I don’t know sir, let me ask,» the waiter replied, and he went ... Читать далее...
4. Jokes about Dumb IrishmenThe blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. ... Читать далее...
5. George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DCGeorge W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order. «I’ll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil,» answers the President. «But sir, what about the mad cow?!!» asks the waiter. «Oh,» answers Dubya, «she’ll order for herself.»...
6. Expresso and a syringeThis guy goes into a restaurant. He’s a little more than strung out from lack of sleep. The waiter asked for his order. Trying to be funny he asked the waiter for a hit of his best heroin. Struggling to keep a straight face. The waiter says,»I’m sorry sir, we’re all out». «In that case ... Читать далее...
7. A panda bear walks into a restaurantA panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door. The owner of the restaurant says, «Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying ... Читать далее...
8. Discovering too late that aDiscovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant’s owner waited nervously for the clerics’ reaction. «Quick, man,» he whispered to the waiter, «what did they say?» «Nothing,» replied the waiter. «They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets.»...
9. Jokes of science 03Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side. Why did the chicken cross the road? Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads. A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, «How much for a beer?» The bartender ... Читать далее...
10. Bill and Hillary are at a restaurantBill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight’s special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. The chicken sounds good, I’ll have that,» Hillary says. The waiter nods. And the vegetable?» he asks. Oh, He’ll have the fish,» Hillary replies....
11. A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurantA stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant. The onion soup gets to her, and as the waiter is serving the main dishes she lets loose a bombastic fart. Trying to save face, she says to the waiter: «Sir! Please stop that immediately.» «Certainly, madame,» replies the waiter with a bow, ... Читать далее...
12. Really torrid honeymoonAfter the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, «You know what I really feel like honey?» «Well sure,» she ... Читать далее...
13. Russia JokesWhat’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union? It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
14. A tourist from the United States of AmericaA tourist from the United States of America is at a resturant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says, «Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in front of the White House in Washington D. C. ... Читать далее...
15. A customer walks into a restaurant and noticesA customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, «$500 if we fail to fill your order.» When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen. Almost immediately he hears an explosion of voices. The restaurant ... Читать далее...
16. A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open tableA man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, and asked, «Do all the waiters ... Читать далее...
17. Constantly complainingA customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour., Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth ... Читать далее...
18. A farmer comes home with a lively young bullA farmer comes home with a lively young bull. His two old bulls have fallen on sad days. He’s letting them hang around for old times’ sake. The minute the new bull is put into the pasture, he starts servicing the cows. At about the fourth cow, one of the old bulls starts to paw ... Читать далее...
19. Jokes about the Stupid IrishA man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he’s in need of petrol, the man decides to stop. He says to the attendant at the station, «Fill it up, will you?». The man says «Sorry — we’re right out of petrol.» So the man considers, and ... Читать далее...
20. Irish Pub JokesMurphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields. Murphy said, «Where are we now?» The guide said, «We’re in the great state of Texas.» «It’s a big place,» said Murphy. The ... Читать далее...
21. Clean Jokes about IrelandAn American and an Irishman were enjoying a ride in the country when they came upon an unusual sight — an old gallows. The American thought he would have a joke on his Irish companion. «You see that, I reckon,» said he to the Irishman, pointing to the gallows. «And now where would you be ... Читать далее...
22. An American tourist is visiting ChinaAn American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide: «How large is the population here?» «Around 1.5 billion» — the guide answers American, After a short pause: «So, what else do you do here?»...
23. The Microsoft waiterPatron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, it’s still there. Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it ... Читать далее...
24. Bull fights — Коррида смертельная битва— Hello John! How are you doing? Where have you been? I tried to find you but could not. — Hello Peter! You will not believe me! I went to Spain to watch the fight of the bulls. It was brilliant. — Wow, that is great! Could you please tell me about it? It must ... Читать далее...
25. Dining at a Restaurant II (Fast)I love coming to this Italian restaurant. The appetizers and desserts are To die for. When the waiter came to our table To take our order, my friend ordered a lobster ravioli dish, and I ordered my favorite, lasagna. The waiter then asked us, «Would you like a Soup or salad with that?» My friend ... Читать далее...
26. Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinnerTwo nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner. They notice Rocky Mountain Oysters on the menu and wondered what that was. They ask the waiter who replies «Oh Sister, those are nuts.» She answers «Do you mean like the kind you crack with a rock?» «No. The kind you rock on a crack.»...
27. England JokesQ: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
28. What is your nameWalking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, «Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.» «Hans Olaffsen?», he muses. «How in hell does that fit in here?» So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова waiterWaiter — официант Перевод слова Call the waiter over — подозвать официанта deft waiter — расторопный официант leave a gratuity for the waiter — оставить официанту на чай Has the Waiter taken your order? Официант принял ваш заказ? He took a job as a Waiter. Он устроился на работу в качестве официанта. Did you tip ... Читать далее...
30. Japan JokesThe Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for ... Читать далее...
31. The young immigrant couple had just left theThe young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. «It is wonderful,» the husband exclaimed. «We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?» «Yes, you male chauvinist pig,» his wife replied. «Tonight, you cook dinner and I get on ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод слова restaurantRestaurant — ресторан Перевод слова Buffet restaurant — ресторанчик, работающий по системе «шведский стол» decent restaurant — приличный ресторан to dine at a restaurant — обедать в ресторане We had dinner at a local Restaurant. Мы поужинали в местном ресторане. That Restaurant was a real find! Тот ресторан был настоящей находкой! The Restaurant opened earlier ... Читать далее...
33. A small mixupA florist received an outraged telephone call from a man who had moved his restaurant to a new spot in town. The restaurant owner had been sent a funeral wreath along with a card that read: SINCEREST SYMPATHIES. The florist realized that he must have mixed up two orders and shuddered to think of the ... Читать далее...
34. A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wifeA concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, «Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.» «Well,» the doctor replied, «go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say ... Читать далее...
35. Buying A BullTwo sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last ... Читать далее...
36. A town in Poland had only one cowA town in Poland had only one cow and it stopped giving milk. The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2000 rubles — or one from Minsk for only 1000 rubles. So, naturally, — they got the cow from Minsk. It was a great cow: had ... Читать далее...
37. Touring South AmericaA tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод слова bullBull — бык, буйвол Перевод слова Elephant bull — слон-самец raging bull — свирепый бык bull calf — бычок, глупец, простофиля He was treed by a Bull. Бык загнал его на дерево. The Bull bellowed Бык взревел. He was attacked and gored by a Bull. На него напал бык и а забодал его. Примеры из ... Читать далее...
39. Atlanta JokesSome quick thoughts… 1. Atlanta is comprised entirely of one way streets. The only way to get out of Downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina. 2. All directions start with, «Go down Peachtree…» and include the phrase, «When you see the Waffle House…» 3. Peachtree Street ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова touristTourist — турист Перевод слова Tourist-class passenger — пассажир туристического класса tourist season — туристический сезон tourist visa — туристическая виза The museums attract a lot of Tourists. Музеи привлекают множество туристов. The Tourist had a foreign accent. Турист говорил с иностранным акцентом. We specialize in catering for Tourist bus tours. Мы специализируемся на обслуживании ... Читать далее...