Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ Space shuttle mission to the Moon

Space shuttle mission to the Moon

There’s a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board.

The headquarters in the US calls: «Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to coms for instructions.» He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen to the reactors. So the monkey does the pressure, temperature, and releases the oxygen.

A few moments later headquarters calls again: «Monkey #2, Monkey #2 report to coms for instructions.» He sits down and he is told to add Carbon Dioxide to room 4, to stop the fuel injection to engine 3, to add nitrogen to the fuel compartment and to analyse the solar radiation. So the monkey does the carbon dioxide, the fuel injection, the nitrogen and the analysis of solar radiation.

A little later on, headquarters calls again: «Woman, woman please report to coms for instructions.» She sits down and just as she is about to be told what to do she says….. «I know, I know!! Feed the monkeys, and don’t touch a damn thing.»



Мое хобби танцы на английском.
Достопримечательности сша на английском языке.

Related topics:

  1. Moon MissionNASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: «Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over.» «Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear.» ... Читать далее...
  2. I like monkeysThis was originally posted in rec. sport. pro-wrestling Date: 1999/03/04 Author: briang68g@gearthlink. net I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. ... Читать далее...
  3. A woman, a bus and a babyA woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, «That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!» The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, «The driver has just insulted me!» The man says, «There’s no call ... Читать далее...
  4. Перевод слова monkeyMonkey — обезьяна; вмешиваться, соваться Перевод слова Ring-tailed monkey — обезьяна с закрученным на конце хвостом spider monkey — паукообразная обезьяна stop monkeying with those tools! — оставь в покое эти инструменты Somebody’s been Monkeying with my papers again. Кто-то опять рылся в моих бумагах. The Monkey rattled the bars of his cage. Обезьяна гремела ... Читать далее...
  5. Looking for a monkey wrenchAn old farmer is driving down a country road in his pickup truck when it starts making an awful noise. He stops the truck and crawls underneath to investigate the problem. «Hmmm…muffler’s loose. I bet I could fix that if I had a Monkey Wrench.» He says. He crawls out from underneath the truck and ... Читать далее...
  6. Перевод слова oxygenOxygen — кислород Перевод слова Oxygen cylinder — кислородный баллон oxygen hunger — кислородное голодание to import oxygen into the blood — насыщать кровь кислородом oxygen mask — кислородная маска Oxygen is quite a dense gas. Кислород — довольно плотный газ. We cannot exist without Oxygen. Мы не можем существовать без кислорода. The hydrogen and ... Читать далее...
  7. The organization is like a tree full of monkeysThe organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes....
  8. A police officer came upon a terrible wreckA police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said «I wish you could talk.» The monkey looked up at ... Читать далее...
  9. Перевод слова fuelFuel — топливо, горючее; разжигание страстей Перевод слова Fuel consumption — расход топлива fuel filling — заправка топливом to add fresh fuel to a quarrel — разжигать ссору, подстрекать ссорящихся to add fuel to the flame — подливать масла в огонь We stopped to take on Fuel. Мы остановились, чтобы заправиться. The Fuel tank’s almost ... Читать далее...
  10. Перевод слова headquartersHeadquarters — штаб-квартира, головной офис Перевод слова General Headquarters — ставка, главное командование police headquarters — главное полицейское управление corporate headquarters — штаб-квартира корпорации We galloped the letter to the Headquarters. На лошадях мы быстро доставили письмо в штаб. The Headquarters of the company are in Switzerland. Штаб-квартира компании расположена в Швейцарии. The captain applied ... Читать далее...
  11. The ages of manGod created the mule, and told him, ‘you will be Mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years. The mule answered: ‘To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more ... Читать далее...
  12. Перевод слова engineEngine — двигатель, мотор Перевод слова Barring engine — пусковой двигатель engine is dead — мотор заглох to decelerate the engine — сбрасывать обороты двигателя Gun the Engine! Давай газу! He got into the driving seat and started the Engine. Он сел за руль и завел двигатель. The Engine has burned out. Двигатель перегрелся....
  13. Investigating a Terrible AccidentThere was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, ... Читать далее...
  14. Airplane AnnouncementsI had to fly from Minneapolis to Los Angeles recently, and like most travelers, I’ve almost memorized the standard Safety announcement made by the Flight attendants. It goes something like this: Good afternoon and welcome to Flight 345, Service to Los Angeles International Airport. We appreciate your full attention to this important safety announcement. This ... Читать далее...
  15. Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree?Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead… Why’d the other monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead too… Why’d the third monkey fall outta the tree? Peer pressure…...
  16. At the doctor’sВ топике У врача я рассказываю, как моей маме пришлось вызвать врача на дом, потому что зимой я простудился, не помог даже горячий лимонад. Я описываю, как пришел врач, и какое лечение он назначил. Если точно выполнять все назначения, то можно быстро выздороветь и вернуться к своим обычным занятиям. It is winter now and it ... Читать далее...
  17. Значение идиомы grease monkey[grease monkey] {n., {slang} 1. A person who greases or works onmachinery; a mechanic or worker in a garage or gasoline station. Hey, grease monkey, fill up my gas tank! The grease monkey wasall dirty when he came out from under the car. 2. Airplane mechanic. Jack was a grease monkey in the Air Force....
  18. His And Hers ATMsHIS: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number and account 4. Take cash, card and receipt HER: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because you’re too far from machine 6. Hunt ... Читать далее...
  19. Перевод идиомы once in a blue moon, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: once in a blue moon Перевод: очень редко, почти никогда; раз в год по обещанию Пример: I only go to that restaurant once in a blue moon. Я очень редко хожу в этот ресторан. «Have you heard from Paul?» «Once in a blue moon he calls, maybe once a year.» С тобой связывался Пол? ... Читать далее...
  20. A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctorA woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water. Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water. Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with ... Читать далее...
  21. Перевод слова temperatureTemperature — температура Перевод слова Ambient temperature — температура окружающей среды room temperature — комнатная температура fluctuations of temperature — колебания температуры Jane’s Temperature is up again. У Джейн снова повышается температура. The Temperature is 10° above zero. Температура 10 градусов выше нуля. Water boils at a certain Temperature. Вода кипит при определенной температуре. rel=»nofollow»>...
  22. Giving sad news to a troopThe Captain called the Sergeant in. «Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.» So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. «Listen up, men,» says the Sergeant. «Johnson, report to the mess hall ... Читать далее...
  23. Worries while flyingTwo statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that ... Читать далее...
  24. A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a dietA woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. «I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.» When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by ... Читать далее...
  25. Nature of HellA thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.» Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when ... Читать далее...
  26. How many does it take?Joe is having a drink in his local bar when in walks this gorgeous woman. Joe, not being too shy, goes up and sits next to her. He buys her a drink and then another and then another. After this and the accompanying small-talk, Joe asks her back to his place for a «good time.» ... Читать далее...
  27. Перевод идиомы ask for the moon, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: ask for the moon Перевод: просить слишком многого Пример: The woman is asking for the moon. She will never get what she wants. Эта женщина просит слишком много. Она никогда не получит, чего хочет....
  28. Перевод слова pressurePressure — давление, нажим Перевод слова Normal blood pressure — нормальное давление low blood pressure — пониженное давление under the pressure of world public opinion — под давлением мирового общественного мнения He buckled under Pressure. На него надавили, и он сдался. The Pressure varies with the depth. Давление меняется в зависимости от глубины. He has ... Читать далее...
  29. Английский для автомобилистов: подборка слов и выраженийПодборка английских слов для автомобилистов станет полезной не только профессиональным механикам, подкованным в технических вопросах, но и всем, у кого есть машина. кто пользуется автомобилем. Истории в деталях для вашего автомобиля на английском. Кабина автомобиля — Cab Bonnet — капот Boot — багажник Bumper — бампер Headlights — фары Number plate — номерной знак Gas ... Читать далее...
  30. Значение идиомы run a temperature[run a temperature] {v. phr.} To have a body temperature that isabove normal; have a fever. Jimmy didn’t look ill, although he wasrunning a temperature. We took the baby to the doctor because hewas running a temperature....
  31. Значение идиомы monkey business[monkey business] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} 1. Any unethical, illegitimate, or objectionable activity that is furtive or deceitful, e. g., undercover sexual advances, cheating, misuse of public funds, etc. There is a lot of monkey business going on in that firm; you’dbetter watch out who you deal with! 2. Comical or silly actions;goofing off. Come on ... Читать далее...
  32. Winnie The????«Winnie The????» It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class. The teacher told the class that each student could tell the class one thing they got for Christmas. So, the teacher calls on a girl to come up to the front of the class and tell everyone 1 thing she ... Читать далее...
  33. Значение идиомы air shuttle[air shuttle] {n.}, {informal} Air service for regular commuters operating between major cities at not too far a distance, e. g., between Boston and New York City; such flights operate without reservation on a frequent schedule. My dad takes the air shuttle from Boston to New York once a week....
  34. Space Exploration — Исследование космоса (2)Mankind always dreamed of overcoming gravitation and reaching other planets. But it was only in the 1960ies that this dream was to become reality. On the 12th of April 1961 the spaceship «Vostok» was launched into space with a man on board and after orbiting our planet successfully returned to the Earth. The first man ... Читать далее...
  35. A salesman in a strange city was feeling hornyA salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 225 West 42nd St. By mistake, he went to 255 West 42nd St, the office of a podiatrist. Being met by a beautiful woman in ... Читать далее...
  36. Woman is on a busA woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: «That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.» In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and ... Читать далее...
  37. Перевод слова missionMission — миссия, делегация Перевод слова Trade mission — торговое представительство, торгпредство dangerous mission — опасное поручение suicide mission — безнадежное поручение The Mission was a washout. Миссия окончилась полным провалом. The Mission had to be aborted. Миссию пришлось прервать. His Mission was a delicate one. У него было поручение деликатного характера. Интересные факты «Миссия ... Читать далее...
  38. 35 People and an Irishman were in a 4 engine jumbo jet35 People and an Irishman were in a 4 engine jumbo jet heading over the Pacific Ocean, Suddenly, a Message is announced, «Ladies and Gentlemen Engine #2 has Died, We will be 30 mins late» «Damn!» Said the Irishman, 10 mins later, «I’m sorry people Engine #3 has died, We’ll be 1 hour late» 20 ... Читать далее...
  39. Space ExplorationТопик Космос повествует о давнем стремлении человечества: преодолеть гравитацию и достичь других планет. Вы узнаете, когда была открыта «космическая» эра, кто стал первым космонавтом, облетевшем по орбите Земли, о первой женщине-космонавте, о первом космонавте, ступившим на поверхность Луны. На какие планеты уже совершены космические полеты и как осуществляется программа совместного пребывания российских и американских космонавтов ... Читать далее...
  40. Первая женщина в космосе/ First Woman In SpaceНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык First Woman In Space Первая женщина в космосе On June 16, 1963 Soviet Cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova became the first woman to travel into space. She spent 71 hours there. Valentina Vladimirovna Tereshkova was born to a family of peasants in Maslennikovo, Russia, in 1937. When she was 18 ... Читать далее...

Space shuttle mission to the Moon