So this guy was out on his front lawn flying a kite

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1. Значение идиомы go fly a kite [go fly a kite] {v. phr.}, {slang} To go away; leave. Usually usedas a command, to show that you do not accept someone’s ideas. Harrywas tired of John’s advice and told him to go fly a kite. AfterMary stood around telling Sue what was wrong with her dress. Sue toldher to go fly a kite. […]...
2. Значение идиомы high as a kite [high as a kite] {adj.} 1. As excited and happy as one can possiblybe. When Eric won the lottery he was high as a kite. 2.Intoxicated or under the influence of some drug. Jeff has beendrinking again and he is high as a kite. Compare: THREE SHEETS IN TOTHE WIND....
3. Перевод слова kite Kite – воздушный змей, пробный шар; резко повышатьcz Перевод слова To fly a kite – пускать пробный шар, зондировать почву air kite-borne jammer – передатчик помех на воздушном змее the prices of necessities continue to kite – цены на предметы первой необходимости лезут вверх The children were flying Kites. Дети запускали воздушных змеев. The extent […]...
4. Ralph and Charlie where playing the ninth hole at Ralph and Charlie where playing the ninth hole at the local country club when Ralph hit his tee shot way to the right. Ralph walked over to the deep rough, found his ball, and proceeded to beat the hell out of wild buttercups with his pitching wedge. Mother Nature appeared and said, “Since you destroyed […]...
5. A push A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to […]...
6. Перевод сленгового выражения go fly a kite! / go chase yourself! / go climb a tree! / go jump in the lake!, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: go fly a kite! / go chase yourself! / go climb a tree! / go jump in the lake! Перевод: уходи, не приставай, оставь меня в покое, иди отдохни (используется в повелительном наклонении) Пример: Get out of here, Robert! You’re driving me crazy! Go chase yourself! Убирайся отсюда, Роберт! Ты меня с ума […]...
7. Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back. Herb says to Sam, “Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Good prices too.” Sam says, “Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of the restaurant?” Herb says, “You’ll going to […]...
8. Humor about Irish Pubs (Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight EI109 from Madrid to Dublin the Plane encounters a serious problem with the Instrument landing systems. In a Fit of Panic, Paddy the Pilot turns to his co-Pilot and says. “Jazus Mick…Well have to turn […]...
9. Значение идиомы make head or tail of [make head or tail of] {v. phr.}, {informal} To see the why of;finding a meaning in; understand. – Used in negative, conditional, andinterrogative sentences. She could not make head or tail of thedirections on the dress pattern. Can you make head or tail of theletter?...
10. The Barber Shop This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About 2 hours.” The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, “How long before I can get a […]...
11. Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, “Whatcha doin’ Daddy?” Johnny’s dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking at the floor. “Oh, I’m just […]...
12. Перевод слова stable Stable – конюшня; устойчивый, стабильный, постоянный Перевод слова Stable equilibrium – устойчивое равновесие stable running – ровный ход remount stable – конюшня для ремонтных лошадей Where do you Stable your horses? Где вы ставите своих лошадей? They have a Stable relationship. У них крепкие отношения. Make sure the platform is Stable. Убедитесь в том, что […]...
13. A hundred dollars A man comes home drunk in the wee hours of the morning to find his wife angry and waiting for him at the door. “Out drinking again!?” she says. “How much money did you spend this time?” “$100,” answers the man. “$100!” she shouts. “That’s ridiculous, spending that much in one night!” “Easy for you […]...
14. Значение идиомы head [head] See: ACID HEAD, BEAT INTO ONE’S HEAD, BEAT ONE’S HEADAGAINST A WALL, BIG HEAD, COUNT HEADS, EYES IN THE BACK OF ONE’S HEAD, FROM HEAD TO FOOT, GET THROUGH ONE’S HEAD, GOOD HEAD ON ONE’SSHOULDERS, GO TO ONE’S HEAD, HANG ONE’S HEAD, HAVE ONE’S HEAD IN THESAND, HAVE ROCKS IN ONE’S HEAD, HEAP COALS […]...
15. I think I try a nicer approach Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let […]...
16. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, “Mummy, what is that long thing?” His mother replies, “That, son, […]...
17. Значение идиомы make neither head nor tail of [make neither head nor tail of] {v. phr.} To be unable to figuresomething out. This puzzle is so complicated that I can makeneither head nor tail of it. Compare: HEADS OR TAILS....
18. Peanuts Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth. As the couple take in the latest episode of their favorite program, the man loses concentration for a split second, and a peanut goes into his ear. He tries to get it […]...
19. A kind of sport A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He’s laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, “What the hell was that?” He replies, “Touchdown, I am […]...
20. Better than Sex A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson & music books. Rotated back […]...
21. A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.” The husband retorts, “Well, what did he say about your 50 year […]...
22. A Second Opinion A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The […]...
23. One night a man heard howls coming from his basement One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse’s confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Sheppard. The […]...
24. Picking up a Rental Car Ralph: I have a Reservation for a car. Clerk: What is the last name on the reservation? Ralph: It’s Furcal. Clerk: Just one moment. I have a reservation for Ralph Furcal, picking up today and returning on the 19th. Ralph: Yes, that’s right. I reserved an Economy car. Clerk: We do have an economy car […]...
25. Перевод слова tail Tail – хвост, кончик Перевод слова Tail ski – хвостовая лыжа самолета dog’s tail – собачий хвост the tail wagging the dog – хвост виляет собакой He checked behind. No Tail. Он оглянулся. “Хвоста” не было. The peacock fanned his Tail. Павлин раскрыл веером хвост. The lizard’s Tail can regenerate. Хвост ящерицы может регенерировать....
26. A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. “Last night I made love to my wife four times,” the Frenchman bragged, “and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored […]...
27. An old retired man goes to his wife one day An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, “I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.” The wife says, “No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.” Husband replies, “Our savings are all gone and you […]...
28. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, “So how has life been treating you?” The old man replies,”The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when […]...
29. What Not to Name Your Dog Everybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog “Sex”. When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said “I’d like one too.” But then I said “This is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked […]...
30. Giving Birth in a Hospital It was 2 o’clock in the morning when my wife woke me up. She is eight-and-a-half months Pregnant and she told me that her Water had broken. She said that she was having Contractions and she was sure that she was In labor. I Paged our doctor and drove to the hospital. When we arrived, […]...
31. Home Architectural Styles Ralph: I just talked to our new Real estate agent and she’s going to show us some houses tomorrow. I told her that The bigger the better and that we’re looking for a large Cape Cod or Georgian-style house. Nina: You did? I’ve been thinking that we’d try to find something more Modest, a Bungalow […]...
32. They are stopped by the police John & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.” Just […]...
33. Значение идиомы mind [mind] See: CROSS ONE’S MIND or PASS THROUGH ONE’S MIND, GIVE APIECE OF ONE’S MIND, HALF A MIND, IN MIND, IN ONE’S MIND’S EYE, MAKEUP ONE’S MIND, NEVER MIND, ON ONE’S MIND, OUT OF ONE’S HEAD or OUT OFONE’S MIND, PUT IN MIND OF, READ ONE’S MIND....
34. It’s in the Bible A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.” The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking around here and […]...
35. Eating Genetically Modified Foods Ralph: What’s that? Nicky: It’s a bigger and better tomato. It’s been Genetically modified. Ralph: You’re not going to eat that, are you? Nicky: Of course I am. I’m making a salad. Want one? Ralph: No way. I don’t want to eat something that’s been Genetically engineered in a Laboratory. Who knows what kind of […]...
36. An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the mouse says: “Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot..” The eagle says “what […]...
37. Diary Entries AUG. 12 Moved to our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. The hills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. I love it here. OCT. 14 Ohio is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red […]...
38. Devil herself A fellow’s wife was very worried about her husband’s heavy drinking and one night she decided to give him a fright. She draped herself in a white sheet and went down to the local cemetery, knowing that her husband was in the habit of taking a shortcut through it on his way home from the […]...
39. The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described. Teacher: “The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem.” Timmy: ” I know what it is, it’s an apple.” Teacher: “That’s right, I like the way […]...
40. The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment. They were down to three recruits, two men and one woman. Only one could get the position. As a final test each recruit was led down a hallway to a large gray door. The CIA agents say to the first man, “We need to know that […]...