Shopping with My Wife

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1. Shopping with My Wife One thing I Dread more than anything else is going Clothes shopping with my wife. It’s not that I don’t like helping her buy new clothes. It’s just that I have no Fashion sense. My wife always asks me, “What do you think of this one?” and I always answer with something like: “That’s nice” […]...
2. A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along […]...
3. A man says to his wife A man says to his wife, “Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.” Wife says, “I dont want to go.” Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, “It tastes like sh*t. Man says, […]...
4. The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need […]...
5. Перевод слова dread Dread – ужас; бояться, страшиться Перевод слова Dread of light – светобоязнь to dread the coming winter – содрогаться при мысли о наступающей зиме I dread it is true – боюсь, что это правда She has a Dread of failure. Она боялась возможной неудачи. I Dread to think about what they might do next. Я […]...
6. A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surprise A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop rather intimidated, but the girls took charge to help him. “What color?” they asked. He settled for white. “How much does it cost?” he asked. “Twenty dollars.” “Very good,” he thought. All that […]...
7. Значение идиомы give color to [give color to] or [lend color to] {v. phr.} To make seem true or likely. The boy’s torn clothes gave color to his storyof a fight. The way the man ate lent color to his story of nearstarvation....
8. Shopping for Men’s Shoes Curran: I like these Tennis shoes. I need a new pair. Beth: We’re here to buy you some Dress shoes for attending Chelsey’s wedding. You can’t go wearing those Worn out loafers, and you need time To break them in. Curran: All right. Just pick whatever you think is suitable and let’s go. Beth: Don’t […]...
9. Muzzammil Hassan gets 25 to life for beheading wife, Aasiya Hassan A Buffalo man got 25 years to life Wednesday for beheading his wife in 2009. Muzzammil Hassan was convicted in February of the monstrous murder of his spouse, Aasiya Hassan. It took the jury less than an hour to find him guilty of second-degree murder. The life sentence was accompanied by an order of protection […]...
10. Перевод слова wife Wife – жена Перевод слова To take to wife – взять в жены house-wife – домашняя хозяйка disloyal wife – неверная жена He split with his Wife. Он порвал со своей женой. He met his Wife at work. Он познакомился со своей женой на работе. My Wife never worked. Моя жена никогда не работала. Интересные […]...
11. Shopping for Warm-Weather Clothes Spencer: I would love to see you in this Outfit: a Tank top and a Miniskirt. Lauren: No way! I wouldn’t look anything like that Mannequin. I’m too shy and I’d Make a fool of myself wearing such Revealing clothes. Spencer: That’s where you’re wrong. You would look great on the beach in that outfit […]...
12. Shopping for Men’s Shoes Curran: I like these Tennis shoes. I need a new pair. Beth: We’re here to buy you some Dress shoes for attending Chelsey’s wedding. You can’t go wearing those Worn out loafers, and you need time To break them in. Curran: All right. Just pick whatever you think is suitable and let’s go. Beth: Don’t […]...
13. An old retired man goes to his wife one day An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, “I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.” The wife says, “No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.” Husband replies, “Our savings are all gone and you […]...
14. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
15. All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, “What was that for?” Wife said, “Because, you are a bad fuck”. Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, “And may I ask what’s that about?” Husband said, ” […]...
16. A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” “Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say […]...
17. Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair […]...
18. Shopping for Warm-Weather Clothes Spencer: I would love to see you in this Outfit: a Tank top and a Miniskirt. Lauren: No way! I wouldn’t look anything like that Mannequin. I’m too shy and I’d Make a fool of myself wearing such Revealing clothes. Spencer: That’s where you’re wrong. You would look great on the beach in that outfit […]...
19. There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says” Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.” The drunks replies,” I’m sorry I […]...
20. Значение идиомы color [color] See: CHANGE COLOR, GIVE COLOR TO or LEND COLOR TO, HAUL DOWN ONE’S COLORS, HORSE OF A DIFFERENT COLOR, NAIL ONE’S COLORS TO THE MAST, OFF-COLOR or OFF-COLORED, SAIL UNDER FALSE COLORS, SEE THE COLOR OF ONE’S MONEY, SHOW ONE’S COLORS, WITH FLYING COLORS....
21. A man and wife entered a A man and wife entered a dentist’s office. The Wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” You’re a brave woman said the dentist. Now, show me which tooth it is. The wife turns to her […]...
22. Not that my wife is the jealous type or anything, but one day at work Not that my wife’s the jealous type or anything, but one day at work, I had taken this temp who was filling in for my secretary to lunch in gratitude for an outstanding job on a very difficult project. As luck would have it, there was my wife waiting in the office for my return. […]...
23. A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night, the farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife’s breast a little feel and says,”Mother, if this could give milk, we could get rid of the cow.” His hand then travels down to her crotch, and he says, “Mother, if this […]...
24. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
25. A man took his wife to the doctors A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said “Your wife’s mind has completely gone!” To which the man replied “I’m not surprised. She’s been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!”...
26. Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, “Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go.” “Good idea,” she says. “While you’re in there, pick me up some Dramamine.” The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore […]...
27. A wife was berating her husband A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, “Don’t unleash the beast in me.” The wife snickered and replied, “Unlike a lot of women, ‘dear’, I’m not the least bit afraid of a mouse.”...
28. A husband and wife were in their back yard A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, “Boy, your ass is getting big. almost as big as the gas grill here.” She angrily stomped across the yard, and he followed saying, “Yep, that thing is getting huge.” At this, the wife retreated to the […]...
29. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the […]...
30. A husband and wife were out playing golf A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in […]...
31. A wife begins to get a little worried because A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until at 8 p. m. the husband finally pulls into the driveway. “What happened?” says the wife. “You should have been […]...
32. Ekaterina Svanidze – Stalin’s first wife Alexander Svanidze, an old school friend of Stalin’s and a fellow revolutionary, introduced the 28-year-old Joseph Stalin to his sister, Ekaterina Svanidze. Nicknamed Kato, Ekaterina was born in Georgia on 2 April 1885. Respecting her devoutness, Stalin put aside his atheism and the couple were married in an Orthodox church in Tiflis (now Tbilisi), capital […]...
33. Dishonesty at Work Amina: Have you heard the latest news? Shane: No, what is it? Amina: Charlie was fired last Friday after the company found out that he had been Cooking the books for over six months and had Embezzled more than $50,000. Shane: Charlie? I don’t believe it! He is the most Upstanding person I know. I […]...
34. A man was taking his wife A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, “Don’t worry, everybody […]...
35. Washing Clothes Mina: What happened here? Is the Washing machine not working? Arlo: What do you mean? Mina: Why are all of your white T-shirts now pink? Arlo: That just happens. Sometimes they turn pink, gray, or another color, depending on which clothes I put in a Load. Mina: Didn’t anyone teach you how to do Laundry? […]...
36. A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, “You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!” Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, […]...
37. Значение идиомы what’s the big idea [what’s the big idea] or [what’s the idea] {informal} What is thepurpose; what do you have in mind; why did you do that; what are youdoing; how dare you. – Often used to question someone or somethingthat is not welcome. The Smith family painted their house red, white, and blue. What’s the big idea? What’s […]...
38. The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man’s oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous blonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace, the friend asked “How in the hell did YOU land a wife like that?” The old man […]...
39. Man and wife at the zoo It’s a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless w/straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on w/one […]...
40. When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, “Life isn’t worth living. I think I’m gonna top myself.” “Don’t be stupid, Joe,” said the psychiatrist. “My wife ran […]...