Oprectomy

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1. One day the different parts of the body One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge. The brain said “I do all the thinking so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.” The eyes said “I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so […]...
2. Перевод слова delicate Delicate – изысканный, тонкий, щекотливый Перевод слова Delicate lace – тонкое кружево delicate equipment – чувствительное оборудование delicate subject – щекотливая тема The matter requires Delicate handling. Дело требует особого подхода. Let us learn then to have a Delicate conscience. Так давайте научим нашу совесть тонко чувствовать. Please don’t joke about such a Delicate subject. […]...
3. One doc operated on a person for a hernia One doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis and took the balls out and kept it on the table. At the end of the operation he wanted to put his balls back into the pouch of testis. He searched operation theatre but could not find the balls of the patient. […]...
4. MY TWO DELICATE OPERATIONS Humor story by Larry Graves Website: http://www. gravetimes. com MY TWO “DELICATE” OPERATIONS A few years ago, I had two operations in the space of a couple of Months. These were not major operations. Although for most men, I Believe they would prefer triple heart bypass surgery instead… No man Alive has ever looked forward […]...
5. A lost skill This preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning. “This mower work, son?” the preacher asked. Little Johnny said, “Sure does – just pull on the cord hard, though.” The preacher took the mower home and when he got […]...
6. Перевод слова operation Operation – операция; действие, работа, функционирование Перевод слова To bear an operation satisfactorily – удовлетворительно перенести операцию to conduct welding operation – вести сварку operation from a distance – действие на расстоянии The Operation was of no effect. Операция не принесла успеха. The Operation of the pump is very simple. Этот насос очень прост в […]...
7. Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. “To remove that vibrator,” said the doctor, “I’m going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation.” “I don’t think I can afford that,” said Sally. “Could you just replace the batteries?”...
8. Перевод слова purpose Purpose – замысел, цель, намерение Перевод слова On purpose – нарочно, с целью beside the purpose – нецелесообразно man of purpose – целеустремленный человек What is the Purpose of your visit? Какова цель вашего визита? You can speak to the Purpose when you choose. Вы можете говорить по существу, когда захотите. He answered him very […]...
9. Перевод слова hospital Hospital – больница, госпиталь Перевод слова Mental hospital, hospital for the insane – психиатрическая больница hospital attendant – санитар больницы hospital bill – счет за лечение в больнице She works at Hospital. Она работает в больнице. Hurry them to the Hospital! Быстро отправьте их в больницу. She phoned the Hospital daily. Она звонила в больницу […]...
10. A dangerous animal The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in […]...
11. Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. “Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting […]...
12. Значение идиомы eye [eye] See: APPLE OF ONE’S EYE, BAT AN EYE or BAT AN EYELASH, BELIEVE ONE’S EYES, CATCH ONE’S EYE, CLEAR-EYED, CLOSE ONE’S EYES orSHUT ONE’S EYES, EYES OPEN, EYE OUT, EYE TO, FEAST ONE’S EYES ON, FOUR-EYES, GET THE EYE, GIVE THE EYE, GREEN-EYED MONSTER, HALF AN EYE, HAVE AN EYE ON, HAVE EYES ONLY […]...
13. Значение идиомы on purpose [on purpose] {adv. phr.} For a reason; because you want to; notaccidentally. Jane did not forget her coat; she left it in thelocker on purpose. The clown fell down on purpose....
14. Mr. Horntoot admitted to his wife that he was feeling Mr. Horntoot admitted to his wife that he was feeling much better since his operation, but couldn’t account for the enormous bump on the back of his head. “Oh, that,” chuckled Mrs. Horntoot. “Just before your operation they suddenly ran out of ether!”...
15. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat […]...
16. A wonderful exercise A neighbor of mine, Myron, in his mid-50’s, had a relatively minor heart attack, and while he was in the hospital, he complained to his cardiologist that he thought that his sex life was over. The cardiologist said, “Not true, Myron. Sex is wonderful exercise for your heart. After you get home, you should have […]...
17. THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT CONSENT FORM Name:______________________________ SOCIAL SECURITY No:____________________ ADDRESS:___________________________ CITY:__________________________________ STAFF ELEMENT:_____________________ HOME PHONE No.:________________________ MALE:___________ FEMALE:___________ OFFICE PHONE No.:______________________ SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Male – Female Female – Female Male – Male All of the Above None of the Above – Please Specify: _____________________ I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT: Salutatory Greeting: _____________________ Eye-to-Eye Contact: ______________________ Eye-to-Bust […]...
18. Значение идиомы eyes open [eyes open] 1. Careful watch or attention; readiness to see. – Usually used with “for”. Keep your eyes open for a boy in a red capand sweater. The hunter had his eyes open for rabbits. Theydrove on with their eyes open for a gas station. Syn.: EYE OUT, KEEPONE’S EYES PEELED. 2. Full knowledge; especially […]...
19. I have a dream to be a doctor В топике У меня есть мечта – стать врачом, я расскажу о том, почему я хочу получить медицинское образование, стать практикующим врачом и работать в больнице. В нашей семье мой дедушка и моя мама – врачи. Мой дедушка – хирург, он очень внимательно относится к своим пациентам и искренне радуется их выздоровлению. Я его очень […]...
20. Discussing Philosophy Rene: Why are you sitting here just Staring into space? Francis: I’m Pondering life. Rene: That sounds Profound. Francis: I’m examining my life from a Metaphysical standpoint. I’m not sure I really Exist. Maybe my entire life is an Illusion and there’s no such thing as Reality. Rene: Okay. Are you sure you’re feeling all […]...
21. Значение идиомы close one’s eyes [close one’s eyes] or [shut one’s eyes] {v. phr.} To refuse to see or think about. The park is beautiful if you shut your eyes to the litter. The ice was very thin, but the boys shut their eyes to the danger and went skating. Compare: OPEN ONE’S EYES....
22. You tell me! A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to “enforce the laws pending.” He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said, “Looks like you’ve had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?” The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden […]...
23. Перевод слова pessimistic Pessimistic – пессимистический Перевод слова Pessimistic estimation – пессимистическая оценка pessimistic prediction – пессимистический прогноз pessimistic outlook – мрачные перспективы Perhaps I am being unduly Pessimistic. Возможно я настроен чересчур пессимистично. She was unduly Pessimistic about her future. она была излишне пессимистична относительно своего будущего. He has an extremely negative and Pessimistic attitude. Он настроен […]...
24. Living on Low Wages Dylan: Here. Yvonne: What’s this? Dylan: It’s information about a job-training program. It’ll give you the skills you need to get Steady work. Yvonne: I don’t need that. I Get by with the Wages I earn from this job. Dylan: You’re in a Dead-end job straining to make ends meet every month. Yvonne: I’ve always […]...
25. So at the funeral home, the widow instructs Here’s a sick one… So at the funeral home, the widow instructs the mortician to cut off her late husband’s penis and shove it up his rectum. The mortician objects, but threatening not to pay, he relents. Later, at the coffin closing, the wife bends down to kiss her husband goodbye, and she sees a […]...
26. Count till fifty The teacher walked into the classroom to find words like “cunt” and “cock” scrawled all over the blackboard. “Children,” she said, addressing the classroom, “you are much too young to use vile language like that. Now we’re all going to close our eyes and count up to fifty. Then, while our eyes are closed, I […]...
27. The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test. One of the last test has left his system upset. Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom he decided the latest was another. He completely filled his bed up with human waste and was embarrased beyond anything he could possibly face. Losing […]...
28. Значение идиомы lay eyes on [lay eyes on] or [set eyes on] {v. phr.} To see. She knew he wasdifferent as soon as she laid eyes on him. I didn’t know the man;in fact, I had never set eyes on him....
29. A really bad, terrible mistake Fred goes to a doctor and says, “Doc, I want to be castrated.” Doc says, “Look, I don’t know what kind of cult you’re into or what your motives are, but I’m not going to do that sort of operation.” Fred: “Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I’m a little embarrassed about talking […]...
30. Перевод идиомы on purpose, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: on purpose Перевод: намеренно, специально Пример: I think that the woman spilled her drink on purpose. Мне кажется, что эта женщина специально пролила свой напиток....
31. Значение идиомы keep one’s eyes peeled [keep one’s eyes peeled] or [keep one’s eyes skinned] {v. phr.},{informal} To watch carefully; be always looking. The bird-watcherkept his eyes peeled for bluebirds. When the boys walked throughthe roads, they kept their eyes skinned for snakes. Compare: EYESOPEN, EYE OUT....
32. Books in Our Life (2) We can’t imagine our life without books. They play a very important part in our life. Books are our friends. We meet them when we are very small and can’t read, but we remember our mother read them for us. We learn very much from books. Books educate people in different spheres of life. They […]...
33. How to dump a guy Dear ________, I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become […]...
34. A guy was pulled over by a cop A guy was pulled over by a cop. The cop says to the guy you’re eyes are bloodshot have you been drinking. The guy says tothe cop you’re eyes are glazed have you been eating donuts Sent by paul...
35. Значение идиомы believe one’s eyes [believe one’s eyes] {v. phr.} 1. To believe what one sees; trust one’s eyesight. – Used with a negative or limiter or in an interrogative or conditional sentence. Is that a plane? Can I believe my eyes? 2. To be made sure of seeing something. She saw him there but she could hardly believe her […]...
36. Best kind of sex A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely active sex life. He said He had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated, and had wet dreams all the time. The doctor asked which he liked best. He Replied, ” Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of people in them.”...
37. Значение идиомы have eyes only for [have eyes only for] {v. phr.} To see or want nothing else but;give all your attention to; be interested only in. Of all thehorses in the show, John had eyes only for the big white one. Allthe girls liked Fred, but he had eyes only for Helen....
38. Is It Science that Does Us Good or Does it Bring Disaster? В топике Достижения науки – нам во благо или во вред? рассматриваются достижения науки и техники, их влияние на окружающую среду, с одной стороны и улучшение условий жизни человека, с другой стороны. Все-таки, наука сделала очень много для прогресса, и мы уже не можем представить нашу жизнь без привычных удобств, и в этом – большая […]...
39. Last minute requests A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his […]...
40. A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor surgery A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a […]...