Only in America

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1. Answering Machine Messages I got two tickets to a Show at the last minute and I tried to find someone to go with me. First, I called Amanda. The phone Rang and rang and then her answering machine Picked up. “Hi, I’m not in right now. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon […]...
2. Technology problems One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. The best call came from a man who repeatedly […]...
3. Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit and he spots a deer. Being a city kid he’s never seen one before and so he asks his teacher, “What’s that, Miss?” Miss decides to play a word game with him and says, “That’s what your Daddy calls Mummy, Tommy.” Tommy thinks for a […]...
4. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard IV Voice Mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing – they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail […]...
5. Keeping a high profile in an office Never write a note or memo if you can phone or visit instead; everyone wants to talk whenever you’re ready. Don’t sit down to talk. The acoustics are better the higher you are, and remember that most people are a bit deaf so speak up louder! Try to talk with _at least_ three people between […]...
6. Перевод слова garage Garage – гараж Перевод слова An aboveground parking garage – наземный гараж-стоянка parking garage – гараж для парковки to park a car in a garage – ставить машину в гараж Out this door is the Garage. Гараж – за этой дверью. Put the car in the Garage. Поставь машину в гараж. She backed the car […]...
7. Important Business Contacts Kelly: What we need are a few people in the Industry To talk up our new company. John: I’m On top of that. I’m really Well connected, as you know, and I’ve already Put in a few calls to a few of the Movers and shakers in our business. Kelly: I didn’t know you had […]...
8. Thank you for the emails THANK YOU Thank you to all my friends who sent me such important emails this year! It’s so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform! Because of all of you I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out from you that it’s good for removing toilet stains and rusting the arse out […]...
9. Перевод слова meaning Meaning – смысл, значение Перевод слова Accepted meaning – общепринятое понимание clear meaning – ясное, понятное значение to misconstrue a meaning – неправильно понимать I Cannot get at the meaning. Я не могу понять, что это значит. I sensed the real Meaning of his letter Я понял истинный смысл его письма. This word became widened […]...
10. Перевод слова screen Screen – экран, завеса Перевод слова Fire screen – каминный экран smoke screen – дымовая завеса television screen – телевизионный экран A tall man came out from behind the Screen. Из-за перегородки вышел высокий мужчина. My test score showed on the Screen. На экране появился результат моего теста. The headlines flashed on the Screen. Заголовки […]...
11. Canada America An American will say, “Hot day!” A Canadian will say, “Hot day, eh?” meaning “It’s a hot day, isn’t it?” This is something deeper than spelling or pronunciation. It goes to the heart of the less-assertive Canadian character. The United States was born when Americans revolted against King George III and asserted their independence. Canada […]...
12. You might be a redneck if 07 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill. You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. The best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade. You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. […]...
13. Phone joke II One night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number […]...
14. Перевод слова blank Blank – пустой, чистый, незаполненный Перевод слова Blank paper – чистая бумага blank bill – бланковый вексель to leave blank – оставить незаполненным Leave the last page Blank. Оставьте последние страницы пустыми. But what in Blank you are waiting for? Какого – сами знаете чего – вы ждете? Suddenly the screen went Blank. Внезапно экран […]...
15. Значение идиомы call for [call for] {v.} 1. To come or go to get. John called for Mary to take her to the dance. Syn.: PICK UP. 2. To need; require. The cake recipe calls for two cups of flour. Success in school calls for much hard study....
16. Значение идиомы go to the dogs [go to the dogs] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go to ruin; to be ruinedor destroyed. The man went to the dogs after he started drinking. After the death of the owner, the business went to the dogs. The team went to the dogs when its best players got hurt. Compare:GO TO POT....
17. Home Shopping Victor: Turn off the TV and put down that phone. I know what you’re about to do. Julia: I wasn’t going to do anything. Victor: You’re watching the Home shopping channel and you have the phone in your hand, which means you’re about to call them and order something. Admit it. Julia: I just wanted […]...
18. Home Shopping Victor: Turn off the TV and put down that phone. I know what you’re about to do. Julia: I wasn’t going to do anything. Victor: You’re watching the Home shopping channel and you have the phone in your hand, which means you’re about to call them and order something. Admit it. Julia: I just wanted […]...
19. Fake two dollar bill On my way home from the second job I’ve taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a […]...
20. After Christmas Sales Roxana: Get up! We’re going To miss out on the best Deals if we don’t get to the stores when they open. Kurt: What? I’m sleeping. Leave me alone. Roxana: You need to get up now and come with me to the store for the After Christmas sales. You know that they Slash prices and […]...
21. After Christmas Sales Roxana: Get up! We’re going To miss out on the best Deals if we don’t get to the stores when they open. Kurt: What? I’m sleeping. Leave me alone. Roxana: You need to get up now and come with me to the store for the After Christmas sales. You know that they Slash prices and […]...
22. A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into the coke machine at a large Vegas casino. She kept punching the buttons only to have happen what you’d expect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other, and change too! After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so went and got more. Back […]...
23. Jones is driving past the state mental hospital Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for […]...
24. Buy machine factory An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building. “Your workers, they’re escaping!” cries the visitor. “You’ve got to stop them.” “Don’t worry, they’ll be back,” says the American. And indeed, […]...
25. Значение идиомы put on one’s thinking cap [put on one’s thinking cap] {v. phr.} To think hard and long aboutsome problem or question. Miss Stone told her pupils to put ontheir thinking caps before answering the question....
26. A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented with their desk computers. One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going. The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen. In her most reassuring voice, she said, “The computer wants to know what your name is,” […]...
27. Перевод слова miss Miss – потеря, отсутствие, неудача; мисс, девушка Перевод слова Ten hits and one miss – десять попаданий и один промах he is no great miss – никто не жалеет об его отсутствии they voted the record a miss – они посчитали, что эта пластинка не удалась a cup of tea, miss – девушка, чашку чая […]...
28. Nuns First Hot Dog Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the […]...
29. America must start talking more about the weather Mark Twain once joked: “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. ” But with the onset of global warming, it is time for action. The scientific evidence is clear:manmade emissions – are harming our planet. Climate change will alter growing seasons, redistribute natural resources, lift sea levels and shift other fundamental […]...
30. At a dentist’s Dentist: “Would you help me out? I’d like you to give a few of your loudest screams.” Patient: “Why, Doc? It isn’t all that bad this time.” Dentist: “Well, there are about 20 people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the five o’clock Braves game on Channel 4.”...
31. Значение идиомы toll call [toll call] {n. phr.} A long distance telephone call for which onehas to pay. We had several toll calls on last month’s telephonebill....
32. Marriage quotes 11 My other wife is beautiful. My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! My wife says if I go fishing one […]...
33. A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his Wet Willy in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, “Stop! […]...
34. Time Off from Work My buddy from college, Jack, was getting married and our friend Rob was planning a Bachelor party for him in Vegas. It was going to be the Last weekend of the month and I wanted to go. The trouble was, I was scheduled to work that weekend. I needed to get the Time off from […]...
35. Garage Sales One of the things I like to do on the weekends is go to garage sales. I’m a Bargain hunter and Collector, so garage sales are good places for me. I look in the newspapers or just follow Homemade signs To find the sales in my neighborhood. Whether it’s because people are doing Spring cleaning […]...
36. Man goes to see the Rabbi Man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning […]...
37. A Call from a Telemarketer Doris: Hello. Telemarketer: Hello, may I speak to The lady of the house? Doris: What is this regarding? Telemarketer: I’m calling from Cheetam Cable Company and we have a very special offer. This month only, you can get a Bundle of services for the low, low price of $69.99! This offer… Doris: Thank you, but […]...
38. A Call from a Telemarketer Doris: Hello. Telemarketer: Hello, may I speak to The lady of the house? Doris: What is this regarding? Telemarketer: I’m calling from Cheetam Cable Company and we have a very special offer. This month only, you can get a Bundle of services for the low, low price of $69.99! This offer… Doris: Thank you, but […]...
39. Taking a Phone Message I was looking forward to a quiet evening at home. As soon as I walked in the door, though, the phone rang. Paolo: Hello. Evelyn: Hi, Could I speak to Tony? Paolo: He’s not here right now. Can I take a message? Evelyn: Do you know when he’ll be back? Paolo: No, I don’t. Evelyn: […]...
40. Garage Sales One of the things I like to do on the weekends is go to garage sales. I’m a Bargain hunter and Collector, so garage sales are good places for me. I look in the newspapers or just follow Homemade signs To find the sales in my neighborhood. Whether it’s because people are doing Spring cleaning […]...