One of my first evenings back from overseas

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1. Working OverseasDanielle: I’m so excited! I just got my new Posting overseas. I can’t wait to live Abroad and work as an Expat. Angus: I remember my first overseas assignment. It was interesting, but the Adjustment took some time. Danielle: I won’t have any problems. I already have my Work permit and Vaccinations, and I speak ... Читать далее...
2. Why Jim Smith Lost His First LoveJim Smith wished to buy a present for his first sweetheart, and after careful consideration he decided on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sweetheart’s sister, he went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the items got ... Читать далее...
3. Finish overseas tourA young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far ... Читать далее...
4. Happens all the timeA guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn out to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at his apartment. He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other. He realizes that the first one might get bored watching, so he her asks what she’d like ... Читать далее...
5. A tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas tripA tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas trip. Upon arriving, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa application. The border official look s over his shoulder, and sees the tourist trying to write ‘Twice a week’ into the small space labeled ‘SEX’. The official explains: «No, no, no. That is not what we ... Читать далее...
6. Following some duty overseas, the officersFollowing some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова living-roomLiving-room — гостиная, столовая, общая комната Перевод слова Living-room interview — интервью с имитацией домашних условий kitchen living room — кухня-столовая living room spaces — жилые помещения He squired them to the Living-room. Он проводил их в гостиную. When the Living-room door opened, he could hear the bath filling. Приоткрыв дверь гостиной, он услышал шум ... Читать далее...
8. Three girls died and were brought to the gatesThree girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, «Before entering you must answer this simple question.» «Which is…?», they replied in unison. «Have you been a good girl?», he asked the first girl. ... Читать далее...
9. Help the lonely childSandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all ... Читать далее...
10. Three college roommates — two females and a maleThree college roommates — two females and a male — began to argue after dinner about whose turn it was to do the dishes. «All right,» one of the girls said, «the first one to speak has to do them.» The trio retired to the living room to watch TV. When their neighbor, a school ... Читать далее...
11. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her motherOne day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, «Why are some of your hairs white, Mom? Her ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова kissKiss — поцелуй Перевод слова Deep kiss — глубокий поцелуй, французский поцелуй to kiss the hare’s foot — поцеловать порог, опоздать to throw a kiss — послать воздушный поцелуй Give us a Kiss. Поцелуй меня. She Kissed him goodnight. Она поцеловала его на ночь. Kiss my ass! Поцелуй меня в задницу! Интересные факты KISS — ... Читать далее...
13. English Overseas — Английский язык за границейEducation is an important part of our life, because it usually determines the life journey. More and more young people aspire to get education abroad today and this rush is gaining popularity at an amazing rate. Parents eagerly send their children to Europe or USA to get an overseas diploma and good professional skills. The ... Читать далее...
14. Paying billsWalking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, «I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?» «Only one kiss per yard, » replied the smirking male clerk. «That’s fine,» replied the girl. «I’ll take ten yards.» With expectation and anticipation written all over his ... Читать далее...
15. Here is a free puppyThe President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had. He goes up to the girl and says, «Little girl, I think that it’s wonderful that you’re doing such a good thing.» The little girl says, «Thank you, Mr. Clinton. ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова girlGirl — девочка, девушка Перевод слова Cool girl — клевая, классная девчонка eleven-year-old girl — одиннадцатилетняя девочка lovely girl — красивая девушка She is my best Girl. Она — моя возлюбленная. We had a little Girl. У нас была маленькая дочка. That Girl’s got class! Классная девчонка! Интересные факты Spice Girls — британская женская поп-группа, ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова understandingUnderstanding — понимание Перевод слова Literal understanding of the text — буквальное понимание текста mutual understanding — взаимопонимание, согласие superficial understanding — поверхностное понимание The experience enriched her Understanding. Этот случай добавил ей понимания. I knew I could count on his Understanding. Я знал, что могу рассчитывать на его понимание. It exceeds the power of ... Читать далее...
18. Good girls vs. Bad girlsGood girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it. Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good girls blush during ... Читать далее...
19. A little girl came running into the house cryingA little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. «Why do you want cider?» asked Mom. «To take the pain away,» sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little ... Читать далее...
20. Little girl walks into the bathroomA little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks «What’s that?» Her sister replies «That is my possum, sis!» The young girl replies «Oh, OK» The next day she sees her mother get out of the ... Читать далее...
21. Mr. Jones had hired a new secretaryMr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said, «Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open.» He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was ... Читать далее...
22. One day a little boy over heard his parentsOne day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing, «You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!» The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best to get out ... Читать далее...
23. Confuse traffic signsA cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop: «Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway — why are you going so slow?» Sister: «Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.» Cop: «Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on! Sister: Oh! Silly ... Читать далее...
24. Интернет-сокращения10Q — thank you (спасибо) 143 — I love you (я тебя люблю) 4Q — F*** You 53X — Sex A/S/L/P-Age/Sex/Location/Picture (какой у тебя возраст/пол/откуда ты/скинь фото) A3 — Anyplace, Anywhere, Anytime (в любом месте, где угодно, когда угодно) ADR — Address (адрес) AEAP — As Early As Possible (как можно раньше) AFK — Away ... Читать далее...
25. Mysterious pictureAfter a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry. «Is that your husband?» he inquired nervously. «No, silly,» she replied, snuggling up to him. «Your boyfriend then?» ... Читать далее...
26. Kind of awkwardA guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to fix some drinks. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he’s looking at it, ... Читать далее...
27. Fanaticism — ФанатизмYoungsters have a trend to idolize on a pedestal. The biggest desire of fans is to see their idols in reality. Fans are not people who envy, fans usually consider idols as a God, and they are ready to do everything, everything at all just to take a look at the adorable. «We are ready ... Читать далее...
28. NoticeTo make things easier for all of us, please notice this Important Notice About Notices. You may have noticed the increased number of notices for you to notice. We notice that some of our notices have been noticed. On the other hand, some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова sisterSister — сестра, родственный Перевод слова Twin sister — сестра-двойняшка lay sister — послушница sister cities — города-побратимы sister languages — близкородственные языки She’s my twin Sister. Она — моя сестра-близнец. Do you know my Sister? Вы знаете мою сестру? He bequeathed his property to his Sister. Он завещал свое имущество сестре....
30. Значение идиомы talk through one’s hat[talk through one’s hat] {v. phr.}, {informal} To say somethingwithout knowing or understanding the facts; talk foolishly orignorantly. John said that the earth is nearer the sun in summer, but the teacher said he was talking through his hat....
31. This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girlsThis elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, «cough drops» and snickered. Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, «What are you doing here, m’am?» ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы kiss someone[kiss someone] or [something goodbye] {v. phr.} To lose or give upsomeone or something forever. «If you won’t marry Jane,» Peter saidto Tom, «you might as well kiss her goodbye.» People who bet on alosing horse at the races might as well kiss their money goodbye....
33. Worrying About Your ChildrenPavel: I’m really worried about Hanna. She’s been Hanging around with that girl Carla, and Carla Runs with the wrong crowd. Hillary: Hanna is Rebelling a little. That’s Natural at her age. When I was her age, I thought I knew more than my parents or any adult, and that I should be able to ... Читать далее...
34. Present Continuous1. Использование времен Present Simple – Present Continuous. Is your family big or small? Neither big nor small. I have a mother, a father and a little sister. What is your father’s job? He is a driver and he works from morning till night. He comes home very late. How old is he? He is ... Читать далее...
35. Kiss meyeah!«Kiss me,» said the young lady urgently. «Please kiss me.» But the young man turned his head away, saying, «Of course not. How can I? I’m your own brother-in-law. Hell, we shouldn’t even be lying here making love.»...
36. Упражнения «Сложное дополнение» (Complex object)1. Раскройте скобки, используя сложное дополнение. Переведите. I want (she) to be my wife. My brother taught ( I ) to swim and dive. They would like (we) to read aloud. Bob advised (she) to stay for another week. We expect (he) to arrive at noon. I heard (you) open the door. Dad always makes ... Читать далее...
37. A profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatristA profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatrist. «My life is a mess, doctor,» she began, «I am so fucking hideous that no one will associate with me, touch me, or even talk to me. Can you help?» «Why, certainly! Helping people feel much better about themselves is my area of expertise. I can start ... Читать далее...
38. A group of Americans was touring IrelandA group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. «Good luck will be followin’ ... Читать далее...
39. This fellow dies and goes to heavenThis fellow dies and goes to heaven. God offers to answer three questions. Guy: «Why are girls so pretty?» God: «So you’ll like them.» Guy: «Why are girls soft?» God: «So you’ll like them.» Guy: «Why are girls so dumb?» God: «So they’ll like you.»...
40. IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARSMen, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. Girlfriends, take heed!! There is a new drug that is in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to induce their male victims ... Читать далее...