On preparing to return home from an out of town trip

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1. A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along […]...
2. Preparing for a Business Trip I’m going to a Conference this weekend Back in my home state of Minnesota. I am going there to Address a Convention full of Librarians, Believe it or not. For me, the worst part of going On the road For business is not the traveling; it’s all the preparation you have to do. I created […]...
3. Перевод слова trip Trip – поездка, путешествие, экскурсия Перевод слова Pleasure trip – увеселительная поездка business trip – деловая поездка, командировка to arrange a trip – организовать поездку He Trips every weekend. Он устраивает экскурсии каждые выходные. We decided to delay the Trip. Мы решили отложить поездку. Our Trip was smooth and uneventful. Наша поездка прошла гладко, без […]...
4. Значение идиомы trip up [trip up] {v.} 1. To make unsteady on the feet; cause tomiss a step, stumble, or fall. A root tripped Billy up while he wasrunning in the woods, and he fell and hurt his ankle. 2. To cause to make a mistake. The teacher asked tricky questions inthe test to trip up students who were […]...
5. Haircut before a trip A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking TWA,” was the reply. […]...
6. Значение идиомы bad trip [bad trip] {n.}, {slang}, {also used colloquially} A disturbing or frightening experience, such as terrifying hallucinations, while under the influence of drugs; hence, by colloquial extension any bad experience in general. Why’s John’s face so distorted? – He had a bad trip. How was your math exam? – Don’t mention it; it was a bad […]...
7. Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. “Where’s George?” one of the men asked, noticing that Sam had returned alone. “He’s about 6 miles back. He tripped and broke his ankle. I left him there ’cause I […]...
8. Значение идиомы round trip [round trip] {n.} A return trip; passage to a place and back. The ticket agent explained that a ticket for a round trip to Hawaiiat certain times of the year may cost less than a one-way ticketduring the high season....
9. A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was […]...
10. Перевод идиомы take a trip, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: take a trip Перевод: отправиться в поездку, путешествие Пример: We plan to take a trip to Italy in November. Мы собираемся отправиться в Италию в ноябре....
11. A Camping Trip My friends and I decided to take a trip to Yosemite National Park To do some Camping and Hiking. We all like the Outdoors, but we all live in the city. We have all been Griping about Feeling cooped up so we decided to take a Road trip. This trip would give all of us […]...
12. PUPPY LOVE A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.” The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being […]...
13. On their honeymoon night On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, “I can’t wear your pants.” “That’s right,” intoned the groom, “And don’t you forget it. I’m the one who wears the pants in the family.” The bride […]...
14. Business trip – Командировка Business trips are just part of doing business. A company tries to choose only its best people to represent it. Trips can happen in or out of the country. And there are as many reasons to go on a business as there are places to go: to sign contracts, to discuss terms of delivery, payment […]...
15. One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also […]...
16. Значение идиомы pants [pants] See: ANTS IN ONE’S PANTS, CATCH ONE WITH ONE’S PANTS DOWN, FANCY PANTS, FLY BY THE SEAT OF ONE’S PANTS, GET THE LEAD OUT OF ONE’spanTS, KICK IN THE PANTS, WEAR THE TROUSERS or WEAR THE PANTS....
17. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Неудачное путешествие (Unsuccessful Trip)” По-английски Перевод на русский Martha: Hi, Alice! How are you? Haven’t seen you for ages. Марта: Привет, Элис! Как ты? Давно не виделись. Alice: Hi, Martha! It’s good to see you. I’m fine, although I have just come back from the very unsuccessful trip. Элис: Привет, Марта. Рада тебя видеть. У меня все хорошо, хотя […]...
18. Packing Toiletries for a Trip It was going to be my wife’s 30th birthday this week and I was Surprising her with a trip to San Diego for the weekend. Since it was going to be a surprise, I needed to Pack both of our Bags before Picking her up from work and Hitting the road. Packing my stuff was […]...
19. There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets. When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself. The stewardess said, “I’m sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not […]...
20. Значение идиомы be in a stew [be in a stew] {v. phr.} To be worried, harassed, upset. Al has been in a stew ever since he got word that his sister was going to marry his worst enemy....
21. Stuck orgasm A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed. They’re having a great time. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure – she was shaking and foaming at the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this […]...
22. A tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas trip A tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas trip. Upon arriving, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa application. The border official look s over his shoulder, and sees the tourist trying to write ‘Twice a week’ into the small space labeled ‘SEX’. The official explains: “No, no, no. That is not what we […]...
23. A Trip to New York City (The phone rings.) Lucy: Hello. Jeff: Hey Lucy, it’s Jeff. Lucy: Hey, welcome back. How was your vacation? Jeff: Oh, it was great. The seven days in New York was a Blast. Lucy: Oh, yeah? Did you do any sightseeing or just visit with friends? Jeff: I got to do both, actually. First, I saw […]...
24. On a cross-country bus trip On a cross-country bus trip, Mrs. Davis became extremely queasy due to motion sickness. She make her way to the restroom, only to find it locked. She went back to her seat, laid her head back and tried to fight off the nausea. Unsuccessfully, she rolled her head to the right and threw up on […]...
25. A Family Road Trip Our family decided to take a Road trip across the country this year. The kids were really excited and my oldest son wanted to help Navigate. Before the trip, we looked at the Road maps and decided on our Route and the Points of interest we would try to see. Since we wouldn’t be taking […]...
26. Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, “Watson, look up. What do you see?” “Well, I see thousands of stars.” “And what does that mean to you?” “Well, I guess it means we will […]...
27. Preparing for the Busy Season Yuko: What’s all this? Reza: We’re Gearing up for the Busy season. We don’t want to Get caught with our pants down like we did last season. Yuko: Last season, we had an unusual number of visitors because of the Unseasonably warm weather. We can’t expect Lightening to strike twice. Reza: We have to prepare […]...
28. Anybody Home? A boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to the youngster, the boss asked, “Is […]...
29. The priest was preparing a man The priest was preparing a man for his long day’s journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the Devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!” The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to […]...
30. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? […]...
31. Back in the turn of the century in a mining town Back in the turn of the century in a mining town out west, a woman walked into a saloon. Suddenly she realised that she was not in the general store so she started to turn around and leave. As she was doing this, a drunk cowboy seated at the bar noticed her and said to […]...
32. Jon left for a two day business trip to Chicago Jon left for a two day business trip to Chicago. He was only a few blocks away from his house when he realized he’d left his plane ticket on top of his dresser. He turned around and headed back to the house. He quietly entered the door, walked into the kitchen. He saw his wife […]...
33. A gruesome murder A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?” A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked […]...
34. A Trip to the Library I read in the Local paper that a new public library had just opened two weeks ago in my neighborhood. I wanted to Check it out. But first, I called the library to check the Hours of operation. The Librarian told me that they were open Monday through Saturday from 10 to 6 so I […]...
35. Little Johnny is coming home from the store Little Johnny’s is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket. Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, “This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny.” He walks up to Little Johnny and says, […]...
36. These two guys are car pooling home from work one day These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. “Look”, he shouts “What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?” The […]...
37. Значение идиомы out of town [out of town] {adv. phr.} Having left one’s usual residence orplace of work on a longer trip. “Mr. Smith is out of town untilMonday,” the secretary said. “May I take a message?”...
38. When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. The the guy’s amazement, when […]...
39. Jokes about St. Patrick’s Day Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy “Jez, that look like Sean” to which Paddy replied “No Sean was taller than that” It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride […]...
40. Preparing to Travel Shannon: It looks like you’re ready for your trip. You must be Psyched. Ignacio: Yeah, I am. I’m almost ready. I’ve gone to the post office and filled out a form so they’ll Hold my mail while I’m gone. Shannon: I could pick up your mail for you. Ignacio: Thanks, but it’ll just be easier […]...