Marriage quotes 11

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1. Marriage quotes 14This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. — Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that ... Читать далее...
2. Marriage quotes 05Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. — Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don’t marry for money; ... Читать далее...
3. Marriage quotes 10Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish ... Читать далее...
4. Marriage quotes 03There was a man who said, «I never knew what happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!» Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. When a ... Читать далее...
5. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
6. Marriage quotes 12Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. — W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they’re entitled ... Читать далее...
7. Marriage quotes 04A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. — Guitry Ah Mozart! He was happily married — but his wife wasn’t. — Borge Always talk to your wife while you’re making love… if there’s a phone handy. An archaeologist ... Читать далее...
8. Marriage quotes 15All marriages are happy — it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn’t agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don’t love me ... Читать далее...
9. Marriage quotes 07If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don’t stand in her way. In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it’s curtains! Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job ... Читать далее...
10. A man says to his wifeA man says to his wife, «Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.» Wife says, «I dont want to go.» Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, «It tastes like sh*t. Man says, ... Читать далее...
11. Marriage quotes 06I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. — Dick Martin I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at ... Читать далее...
12. Marriage quotes 02Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage ... Читать далее...
13. Marriage quotes 09Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Marriage ... Читать далее...
14. Marriage quotes 08Many a wife thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give. — Cass Daley Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties ... Читать далее...
15. Marriage quotes 01Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence — a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s ... Читать далее...
16. Marriage quotes 13The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. — Groucho Marx The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are ... Читать далее...
17. Where are my pyjamas?A man calls his wife and says to her, «Honey, I just got the chance of a lifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss. Could you pack up my things so that they will be ready when I get home?» «Sure, honey,» his wife answers.»Oh, and could you please pack my ... Читать далее...
18. Some of the myths about marriageTOP15.Some of the myths about marriage… Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: «I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.» The husband says: «WHAT??» The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова splitSplit — раскол, трещина, расщеплять Перевод слова To split bond — разрывать связь split decision — неединодушное решение to split a piece from a block — отколоть щепку от чурбака My head is Splitting. У меня голова раскалывается. We Split up into teams. Мы разбились на команды. He Split from his wife last year. Он ... Читать далее...
20. A man was complaining to a friendA man was complaining to a friend. «I had it all. Money, a beautiful house, a BIG car, the love of a beautiful woman, then, POW! it was all gone!» «What happened?» asked the friend. «My wife found out.»...
21. I had it allA man complaining to a friend: «I had it all — money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman…then… pow! … it was all gone!» «What happened?» asked the friend. «Ahhhh… my wife found out…»...
22. Magnussen goes to a marriage counselor and saysMagnussen goes to a marriage counselor and says, «My wife isn’t as much fun as she used to be.» The marriage counselor says, «Do you still enjoy a roll in the hay?» Magnussen says, «As much as the next fellow.» The counselor says, «Maybe between you and the next fellow, she’s exhausted.»...
23. Keeping their marriage togetherI know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive different cars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their own computers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses and Home Pages. They say they’re doing everything they can to keep their marriage together....
24. Marriage counselingA husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. «Oh, we’ll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship,» the husband explained. «She was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts.» He continued, «She communicates well and ... Читать далее...
25. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGEGetting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, «Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?» The other replied, ... Читать далее...
26. Is this really your third marriage?Sure is. What happened to your first two wives? They died. How did your first wife die? She ate some poisonous mushrooms. What about your second wife? She died from a severe skull fracture. How did she get a skull fracture? She wouldn’t eat the mushrooms....
27. Значение идиомы miss out[miss out] {v.}, {informal} To fail; lose or not take a goodchance; miss something good. Jim’s mother told him he missed out ona chance to go fishing with his father because he came home late. You missed out by not coming with us; we had a great time. Compare:LOSE OUT....
28. An affair with the horsePaddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: «I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.» His second friend says: «I think my wife is having an affair with ... Читать далее...
29. I think I try a nicer approachEvery night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова personalityPersonality — личность, индивидуальность Перевод слова Creative personality — творческая личность personality disorder — раздвоение личности dynamic personality — энергичный человек personality cult — культ личности His Personality had romantic and actorish elements. В его характере романтизм сочетался с актерством. We’re looking for someone with an outgoing Personality. Мы ищем кого-то, кто легко находит общий ... Читать далее...
31. Irish marriage jokesPaddy was an inveterate drunkard. The priest met him one day, and gave him a strong lecture about drink. He said, «If you continue drinking as you do, you’ll gradually get smaller and smaller, and eventually you’ll turn into a mouse.» This frightened the life out of Paddy. He went home that night, and said ... Читать далее...
32. Quotes from stupid 03These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. Newsreader, BBC Radio 4: «Working mothers are the backbone of the third half of the economy.» Glenda Jackson, Channel 4 TV: «There’s nothing athletes like — or indeed hate — more than hanging around like this.» — David Coleman, BBC 1 TV «Not being in ... Читать далее...
33. The guide to wife translationsThe wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need ... Читать далее...
34. Trust thy friendThe sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge. «Was it my friend Sam», he demanded. «No!» his weeping wife replied. «Was it my friend Jim then?» he asked. «NO!!!» she said ... Читать далее...
35. A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified toA wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along ... Читать далее...
36. A very desperate marriageA man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to ... Читать далее...
37. Food quotes and quipsFood quotes, quips, and thoughts. . . «Artichokes… are just plain annoying… After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual ‘food’ out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead.» — Miss Piggy «The most remarkable thing about my ... Читать далее...
38. Some police quotes«The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.» «If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.» «So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?» «Yes sir, you can talk to the shift ... Читать далее...
39. Stupid sports quotesThese are actual sports quotes said by various people throughout the world. Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, «Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.» New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:»I want to ... Читать далее...
40. A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an AustralianA Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the mental abilities of their wives. The Canadian says, «You know my wife must be the most stupid woman in the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of meat, and we don’t even have a freezer! The Scotsman ... Читать далее...