Marriage quotes 03

Related topics:

1. Marriage quotes 02 Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage […]...
2. Marriage quotes 13 The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. – Groucho Marx The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are […]...
3. Marriage quotes 08 Many a wife thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give. – Cass Daley Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties […]...
4. Marriage quotes 07 If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don’t stand in her way. In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it’s curtains! Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job […]...
5. Marriage quotes 04 A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. – Guitry Ah Mozart! He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t. – Borge Always talk to your wife while you’re making love… if there’s a phone handy. An archaeologist […]...
6. Marriage quotes 09 Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Marriage […]...
7. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, […]...
8. Marriage quotes 01 Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence – a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s […]...
9. Marriage quotes 10 Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish […]...
10. Marriage quotes 15 All marriages are happy – it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn’t agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don’t love me […]...
11. Marriage quotes 06 I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. – Dick Martin I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at […]...
12. Marriage quotes 11 My other wife is beautiful. My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! My wife says if I go fishing one […]...
13. Marriage quotes 14 This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. – Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that […]...
14. Marriage quotes 05 Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. – Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don’t marry for money; […]...
15. Marriage quotes 12 Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. – W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they’re entitled […]...
16. Some of the myths about marriage TOP15.Some of the myths about marriage… Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband says: “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional […]...
17. Marriage counseling A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. “Oh, we’ll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship,” the husband explained. “She was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts.” He continued, “She communicates well and […]...
18. Short gender jokes A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more […]...
19. Значение идиомы open marriage [open marriage] {n. phr.} An arrangement by mutual agreementbetween husband and wife whereby they are both allowed to haveextramarital affairs. Chances are the open marriage arrangementthey had didn’t work out too well so they are getting a divorce....
20. Getting a Marriage License Yves: Help me fill out this Application for our Marriage license. Vanessa: Can’t you do it? I’m really busy with work right now. Do as much as you can and just ask me if you don’t know something. Yves: Okay, I’ll try, but I’m reading through the requirements, and it’s a good idea for both […]...
21. Keeping their marriage together I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive different cars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their own computers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses and Home Pages. They say they’re doing everything they can to keep their marriage together....
22. Life is cruel What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professional man who will just love them for who they are. What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them only because no other woman wants him. What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela Lee Anderson; Wonderful […]...
23. Перевод слова lover Lover – любовник, любитель Перевод слова Impetuous lover – пылкий любовник lover of the antique – любитель античности to take a lover – завести любовника to jilt a lover – бросить любовника The woman gave up her Lover to save her marriage. Женщина порвала с любовником ради сохранения брака. An affectionate Lover of venerable antiquity. […]...
24. Uh-Oh!! The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was less than faithful. He hired a private investigator to follow her and in less than a week, had all the information that he needed on the “other man”. The husband convinced himself that his would still be a loving and trustworthy marriage had […]...
25. Getting an Unexpected Marriage Proposal Sean: By now, I think you know how I feel about you. I’m Madly in love with you and I believe In my heart of hearts that you’re my Soul mate. Ayako: That’s really Sweet of you to say. Sean: And because I feel the way I do, I would like to ask you a […]...
26. Magnussen goes to a marriage counselor and says Magnussen goes to a marriage counselor and says, “My wife isn’t as much fun as she used to be.” The marriage counselor says, “Do you still enjoy a roll in the hay?” Magnussen says, “As much as the next fellow.” The counselor says, “Maybe between you and the next fellow, she’s exhausted.”...
27. Annulling a Marriage Courtney: Did you hear? Kate and Christopher are trying to Annul their marriage. Ray: What?! They’ve only been married for two months! What brought this on? Courtney: I have no idea. Neither of them is Underage or Bigamists and they married Of their own free will, so I don’t know how they can ask for […]...
28. Перевод слова marriage Marriage – брак, супружество Перевод слова Marriage certificate – свидетельство о заключении брака marriage counsellor – консультант по брачно-семейным отношениям marriage deformed by jealousy – брак, испорченный ревностью He asked for her hand in Marriage. Он попросил ее руки. Their Marriage ended in divorce. Их брак закончился разводом. The priest blessed the Marriage. Священник благословил […]...
29. Marriage Anonymous With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called “Marriage Anonymous.” Whenever a guy feels like getting married, they send over a woman with crulers in her hair, cream on her face and wearing a torn housecoat to nag him out of it....
30. Following a bitter divorce Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The wife simply sighed and replied, “Yes, dear, I know, but I was in love and didn’t really notice.”...
31. An old retired man goes to his wife one day An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, “I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.” The wife says, “No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.” Husband replies, “Our savings are all gone and you […]...
32. A very desperate marriage A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to […]...
33. Marital Sex While making love to his wife, Carl discovered he couldn’t enjoy it. Though they had been married only a few years, he relflectly unhappily, their love-making had become infrequent and bland. Then quite suddenly, alarmed, he said: “What happened, did I hurt you?” “Why no, not at all,” said his surprised wife. “Whatever made you […]...
34. Nothing changed On the eve of the couple’s tenth wedding anniversary, the still slim wife was bragging about her figure. “You know honey,” she said, “I can still get into the skirts I had before we were married.” “Yeah?” the husband replied as he turned his attention back to the ball game on TV. “I wish to […]...
35. Saving the situation After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, “What the hell happened?” “As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss,” replied the wife. “Piss on him,” answered the husband. “You did,” said the wife, “and he fired […]...
36. All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, “What was that for?” Wife said, “Because, you are a bad fuck”. Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, “And may I ask what’s that about?” Husband said, ” […]...
37. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the […]...
38. Suffering A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, “My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.” The counselor turns to her husband and inquires “Is that true?” The husband replies “Well not exactly, she’s the one that suffers, not me.”...
39. My position about wedding So, speaking about weddings, I would like to mention first that I don’t understand people, who are getting married at the age of 17-20, it’s hideous. Cause they don’t realize that they’ll break their lives by divesting themselves of the greatest years. Cause at that age they all are still children and children can only […]...
40. An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the […]...