Man Comes To Realize His Puppies Aren’t Puppies After All

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1. A life-long city man, tired of the rat raceA life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a ... Читать далее...
2. Want some chicken?A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken ... Читать далее...
3. Beware of drunken bearsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, October 8: People of northwestern Montana have been advised to be on the lookout for drunken bears. Black bears and grizzlies have been congregating along the tracks of the ... Читать далее...
4. UPDATE: Another Major U. S. City Has Made It Mandatory For Pet Stores To Only Sell RescuesLawmakers in Beverly Hills are following Phoenix, Arizona’s lead. It is now illegal for pet stores in Beverly Hills to sell dogs and cats that are not from a shelter or rescue. Beverly Hills council member Lili Bosse told the Huffington Post: «I am the biggest animal lover and feel strongly about giving them a ... Читать далее...
5. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadowA horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s ... Читать далее...
6. Alaskan tourismIf you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service announcement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country. The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc.), but be careful because they don’t scare Grizzly Bears. Tourists are cautioned to ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова AsianAsian — азиатский, азиат Перевод слова Asian countries — страны Азии asian option — азиатский опцион central asian shepherd — среднеазиатская овчарка Is there a generic Asian mind? Существует ли типичное азиатское мышление? Two thirds of the pupils are of Asian origin. Две трети школьников имеют азиатское происхождение....
8. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his houseThere was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. «Hey kid!» the farmer says. «Where ya goin’ with that wire?» «Well,» the kid drawls, «this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s ... Читать далее...
9. Costa Rica’s «Land Of The Strays» Is Pretty Much Paradise For Dog LoversImagine a place where the sun shines year-round, the average annual temperature is 73°, and more than 900 dogs with breed names like «Chubby-Tailed German Dobernauzer» and «Fire-Tailed Border Cocker» roam free across the lush landscape. Sound like Heaven? Well believe it or not, it exists right here on earth! Territorio de Zaguates, or «Land ... Читать далее...
10. Excerpts from the rural lifeA farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says «Ok, old fellow, time to retire.» The old rooster says «You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!» The young rooster replies, «Now, ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова farmerFarmer — фермер Перевод слова Cattle farmer — скотовод, владелец животноводческой фермы collective farmer — колхозник truck farmer — огородник They work for a Farmer. Они работают у фермера. The Farmer cut at the snake with a stick. Фермер ударил змею палкой. The Farmer hitched the cart to his best horse. Фермер впряг в телегу ... Читать далее...
12. Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheepFarmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local minister comes walking around the corner. The minister says, «My, Farmer Petrovich, you’re certainly giving that sheep a beating. You wouldn’t do that to your wife, would you?» The farmer says, «I would if she farted and jumped sideways every time I tried to ... Читать далее...
13. A miserable roosterA salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, «What the hell is that all about?» The farmer says, «We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes ... Читать далее...
14. Travel with a horseAn out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, «Pull, Nellie, pull!» Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, «Pull, Buster, pull!» Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова chickenChicken — курица, курятина Перевод слова Casseroled chicken — запеченный цыпленок chicken manure — куриный помет chicken coop — курятник Don’t be such a Chicken! Не будь таким трусом! We cooked a whole Chicken. Мы варили курицу целиком. We barbecued Chicken and ribs. Мы жарили на гриле курицу и ребра....
16. Diver Has Visited The Same Friendly Fish For 25 YearsBeneath the surface of Japan’s Tateyama Bay stands a shrine called a torii, sacred to the Shinto religion. But more than being a place of spiritual importance, the underwater site is host to something else that’s remarkable — a unique friendship between a man and a fish. For more than two decades, a local diver ... Читать далее...
17. Sister Ann, arent you putting on a little weight?«Sister Ann, aren’t you putting on a little weight?» inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging stomach. «Why, no Father,» answered the nun demurely, «It’s just a little gas.» A few months later Father Dan put the same question to the nun noticing her habit barely fit across her ... Читать далее...
18. Birds of a FeatherThere are a lot of animals on our planet. They can be wild and domestic. Wild animals are those animals who live in nature without people. Wolves, foxes, giraffes are wild animals. Domestic animals are animals who live with people, who are not really scary. People always call them «pets». Cats, dogs, sheep are domestic ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова chinaChina — фарфор Перевод слова Eggshell china — тонкий фарфор china clay — фарфоровая глина, каолин china closet — буфет A punch bowl of Bow China. Кубок для пунша из боуского фарфора. These fine China cups damage easily. Эти тонкие фарфоровые чашки легко повредить. Broken China crunched under my feet. Осколки фарфора хрустели у меня ... Читать далее...
20. A farmer walked into an attorney officeA farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, «May I help you?» The farmer said, «Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.» The attorney said, «well do you have any grounds?» The farmer said, «Yea, I got about 140 acres.» The attorney said, » No, ... Читать далее...
21. Hiding from the PoliceI read an article in the newspaper this morning about a man who had been On the lam for 12 years. He was Wanted by the police because they believed he had committed a murder. But before the man could go to trial, he Bolted and left the country. He has been on the “Most ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова realizeRealize — реализовать, выполнить, осознавать Перевод слова To realize one’s ambitions — осуществить свои честолюбивые замыслы our hopes were realized — наши надежды сбылись I fully realize the fact that… — я отдаю себе полный отчет в том, что… It was only later that I Realized my mistake. Только позже я понял свою ошибку. She ... Читать далее...
23. Значение идиомы go to the dogs[go to the dogs] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go to ruin; to be ruinedor destroyed. The man went to the dogs after he started drinking. After the death of the owner, the business went to the dogs. The team went to the dogs when its best players got hurt. Compare:GO TO POT....
24. Baby bear wants to live somewhere elseThe three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of ... Читать далее...
25. Nuns First Hot DogNuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, «I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.» «Odd,» her companion replies, «but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.» Nodding emphatically, the ... Читать далее...
26. Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the countrySeems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. «Sure,» said the farmer, «my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 ... Читать далее...
27. Let him digAn old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. «When I die I will dig my way up and out ... Читать далее...
28. How Yao Ming appeased the Chinese appetite for shark fin soupYao Ming has become a hero for both basketball fans and animal lovers alike. The 7-foot-6 retired Chinese NBA player has partnered with WildAid for the last five years to help stem the demand for shark fin soup in his home country. Together, Yao and WildAid have raised awareness about the realities of a perceived ... Читать далее...
29. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty lifeA blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to ... Читать далее...
30. Looking for a monkey wrenchAn old farmer is driving down a country road in his pickup truck when it starts making an awful noise. He stops the truck and crawls underneath to investigate the problem. «Hmmm…muffler’s loose. I bet I could fix that if I had a Monkey Wrench.» He says. He crawls out from underneath the truck and ... Читать далее...
31. A woman walks into her accountant’s office andA woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, «Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.» He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, «What is your occupation?» The woman replies, «I’m a whore.» The accountant balks ... Читать далее...
32. England JokesQ: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
33. The results of statistics1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed 2. All polar bears are left-handed 3. If your car is stolen, there’s a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear 1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles 2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles 3. Work stuffs up your eyesight ... Читать далее...
34. A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty yearsA farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he’s been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female. «No! I’m not doing it anymore!» ... Читать далее...
35. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy manA lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, «There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.» «No problem,» ... Читать далее...
36. Perot cornTwo farmers were talking at the general store. One farmer says to the other, «Did you hear about that new variety of corn called Perot corn?» The second farmer replies,»No I ain’t.» The first farmer says, «Yeah, it’s a big yielding variety. The stalk don’t grow too big, but the ears are tremendous!»...
37. Перевод идиомы go to the dogs, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: go to the dogs Перевод: ухудшаться, становиться хуже Пример: Many things in our city have gone to the dogs during the last ten years. За последние десять лет многое в нашем городе стало хуже....
38. ChinaТопик Китай рассказывает о крупнейшем по численности населения государстве мира и третьем в мире по территории, после России и Канады. Благодаря письменным источникам и археологическим данным, можно проследить историю Китая с глубокой древности. Страна была монархией, социалистической республикой, а сейчас открыта всему остальному миру. Многие зарубежные студенты обучаются в Китае, где для них созданы благоприятные ... Читать далее...
39. Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the southMike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south when he decided he wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with ... Читать далее...
40. You could Feed them a lot FasterThere was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would ... Читать далее...