Majority rules
So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual “3 to 1, majority rules” statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.
“Oh, God!” he cried. “I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!”
It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. “A sign from God! See, I’m right, I knew it!” But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.
So the rabbi prayed again: “Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!” This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill.
“I told you I was right!” cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.
The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a *very big* sign, but just as he said, “Oh God…,” the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, “HEEEEEEEE’S RIIIIIIIGHT!”
The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, “Well?”
“So,” shrugged one of the other rabbis, “now it’s 3 to 2.”
Related topics:
- Rabbi Stern rides his bike down the road, when Rabbi Stern rides his bike down the road, when a truck careens around = the corner, out of control, and broadsides the Rabbi. Father Flannery watches this event unfold, and as he runs toward the = Rabbi, he notices that Rabbi Stern first touches his forehead, then his = stomach, then each shoulder. As Father […]...
- Getting in an accident A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, “So you’re a […]...
- Man goes to see the Rabbi Man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning […]...
- Перевод слова storm Storm – буря, шторм, гроза; бушевать, свирепствовать Перевод слова A storm is brewing – гроза собирается storm cloud – грозовая туча to be storming at the delay – горячиться из-за опоздания A Storm is coming on. Надвигается шторм. Any port in a Storm. В бурю любая гавань хороша. She Stormed into the office. Она ворвалась […]...
- A stupid dog While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk to Bernie. Rabbi: “What are doing here with a dog?” Bernie: “The dog came here to pray.” “Oh, come […]...
- Перевод слова cloud Cloud – облако, туча; масса, множество Перевод слова Rain cloud – дождевая туча storm cloud – грозовая туча cloud of witnesses – множество свидетелей The sun was behind a Cloud. Солнце скрылось за тучей. Thick mist Clouded the mountaintops. Густой туман затянул горные вершины. All at once, a Cloud has blanched the blue. Неожиданно на […]...
- A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, “So how high can you advance in your organization?” The Priest says “If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop.” “Well, could you get any higher than that?” asks the Rabbi. “I suppose that […]...
- An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying “I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork…Have you actually ever tasted it? The Rabbi said, “I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd […]...
- The Rabbi There is a story about a popular young rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave. Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up […]...
- Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all. Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. “Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! […]...
- A pious man who had reached the age of 105 A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, “How come after all these years we don’t see you at […]...
- Clean St. Patrick’s Day Jokes An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, “Oy vey! What a wreck!” The priest asks him, “Are you all right, Rabbi?” The Rabbi responds, “Just a little shaken.” The priest pulls a […]...
- Rabbi’s anniversary present A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid. When he walks into his hotel room, there’s a beautiful girl, nude, lying on the bed. She says, “Hi, Rabbi, I’m a little something extra that the president of the […]...
- An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, “I gladdened seven hearts today.” “Seven hearts?” asks the friend. “How did you do that?” The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, “I performed three marriages.” The friend looks at him quizically. “Seven?” he asks. “I could understand six, […]...
- Значение идиомы under a cloud [under a cloud] {adj. phr.} 1. Under suspicion; not trusted. Joyce has been under a cloud since her roommate’s braceletdisappeared. The butcher is under a cloud because the inspectorsfound his scales were not honest. 2. Depressed, sad, discouraged. Joe has been under a cloud since his dog died....
- Sex on Sabbath A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, “My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex […]...
- A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, ” My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that […]...
- Значение идиомы blow up [blow up] {v.} 1a. To break or destroy or to be destroyed by explosion. He blew up the plane by means of a concealed bomb. The fireworks factory blew up when something went wrong in an electric switch. 1b. {informal} To explode with anger or strong feeling; lose control of yourself. When Father bent the […]...
- With a puzzled look on his face With a puzzled look on his face an Indian boy asked, “Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?” She told him, “Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.” Then he asked, “Why is my sister named Cornflower?” She replied, “Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made […]...
- A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. So they did. They drove it home and parked it in the street between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out […]...
- An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the […]...
- A town in Poland had only one cow A town in Poland had only one cow and it stopped giving milk. The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2000 rubles – or one from Minsk for only 1000 rubles. So, naturally, — they got the cow from Minsk. It was a great cow: had […]...
- Значение идиомы take by storm [take by storm] {v. phr.} 1. To capture by a sudden or very boldattack. The army did not hesitate. They took the town by storm. 2.To win the favor or liking of; make like orbelieve you. The comic took the audience by storm. John gaveJane so much attention that he took her by storm, and […]...
- A helicopter was flying around above Seattle A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of aircraft’s electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritted sign […]...
- Значение идиомы on cloud nine [on cloud nine] {adj. phr.}, {slang} Too happy to think of anythingelse; very happy. Ada has been on cloud nine since the magazineprinted the story she wrote. We were on cloud nine when our teamwon the state championship. Compare: ON TOP OF THE WORLD, WALK ONAIR....
- New rules for bowling Supplemental Rules for Bowling If you holler “overs!” before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the “overs”. When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the […]...
- Men writing the rules If Men Were to Rewrite “The Rules” Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. Rule # 2 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or […]...
- Значение идиомы put about [put about] {v. phr.} – Nautical usage. To turn in the oppositedirection; turn around. When we saw the storm clouds thickening inthe sky, we put about quickly and raced ashore....
- Значение идиомы build up to [build up to] {v. phr.} To be in the process of reaching a culmination point. The clouds were building up to a violent storm. Their heated words were building up to a premature divorce....
- Английские слова и словосочетания на тему погоды Общие термины Weather – погода Weather forecast – прогноз погоды Weatherman – метеоролог Weather station – метеорологическая станция Daylight saving time / summer time – летнее время Теплая погода Bright / clear – ясный Sunny – солнечный Muggy – влажная и душная Sultry – знойный, душный Dry – сухой Hot – жаркий Warm – теплый […]...
- Military work rules 1. Sickness: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept the Medical Officer’s statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to go on sick parade, you are able to come to work. 2. Leave of Absence for an Operation: We are no longer allowing this practice. We […]...
- Stay over one night A hindu priest, rabbi and a lawyer were driving down the road, when the car breaks down. Fortunately finding a farmhouse nearby, the farmer informed them that he had only one spare room, and that it had only two twin beds. They were welcome to it, but one of them had to sleep in the […]...
- A theological debate Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the […]...
- Перевод слова majority Majority – большинство Перевод слова The majority of mankind – большая часть человечества in the majority of cases – в большинстве случаев absolute majority – абсолютное большинство The Democrats have a slim Majority in the House. В палате демократы имеют незначительное большинство. The vast Majority of people will support us. Подавляющее большинство людей нас поддержит. […]...
- Значение идиомы majority leader [majority leader] {n.} The leader of the political party with themost votes in a legislative house. The majority leader of the Houseof Representatives tried to get the members of his party to supportthe bill. Compare: MINORITY LEADER....
- Значение идиомы silent majority [silent majority] {n.}, {informal} The large majority of peoplewho, unlike the militants, do not make their political and socialviews known by marching and demonstrating and who, presumably, canswing an election one way or the other. Sidney Miltner is a memberof the silent majority....
- Перевод слова sign Sign – знак, признак; подписывать Перевод слова A sign of weakness – свидетельство слабости a sign of the cross – крестное знамение to sign a contract – подписать контракт Please Sign here. Подпишите, пожалуйста, здесь. Wait until I give the Sign. Ждите, пока я не подам знак. She Signed for us to go inside. Она […]...
- Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle god […]...
- A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder. Looking up, he sees that the ladder disappears into the clouds. Curious, he begins to climb. Before long, he is *in* the clouds. He looks around and sees the most horribly ugly woman he has ever seen in his life. Obese, snaggle-toothed, […]...
- Значение идиомы turn a blind eye [turn a blind eye] {v. phr.} To pretend not to see; not payattention. The corrupt police chief turned a blind eye to the opengambling in the town. Bob turned a blind eye to the “No Fishing”sign. Compare: CLOSE ONE’S EYES....