You are in trouble
An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself “Oh God, I’m screwed!!!!!.” There is a
An affair with the horse
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire
Misunderstood people
1. They speak only the Greek language. 2. They usually have long threatening names such as Bonferonni, Tchebycheff, Schatzoff, Hotelling, and Godambe. Where are the statisticians with names such as Smith, Brown, or Johnson?
Getting married
Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob
The doctor had just completed his examination
The doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous redhaired beauty. “I would suggest to you, young lady,” began the medic, as he regained som of his professional dignity, “that you discontinue some
Three religious truths
There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each
A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has
A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, “I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a
Is Windows a Virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here’s what viruses (viri?) do: 1. They replicate quickly – okay, Windows does that. 2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do
Because his son wasn’t the brightest kid in the world
Because his son wasn’t the brightest kid in the world, old Hillbilly Joe took him to the outhouse one day to teach him how to urinate properly. “Now you lissen good, Dan’l, ‘cuz here’s
The guide to wife translations
The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be