Driving home very drunk
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more
A man walks into a friend and sees
A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, “What’s happened to your car?” “Well,”
After a bad accident
Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a train. Patient: What happened? Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would
Annoying some waiters
10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip. 9. Ask, “Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?” 8. After he describes each special, you shout, “Garbage!” 7. Whenever he
Violin
Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? A: The bow is moving. Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and
From Boyfriend to Husband upgrade
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications
The definition of a phallic symbol
This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor pulls his pants and
Drinking and driving
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The “Environmental Engineering News” published some rather sobering information about punishment
Musician
Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, “I can do that!” Q: What do
An Internet Christmas
T’was the Internet Night Before Christmas ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker’s a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,