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1. Policemen in Heaven St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. “Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?” “I was a policeman,” he responded. “What kind of policeman?” St Peter asked. “I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.” “Wonderful my son, […]...
2. Incredible golf ball A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!” The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is it?” “It’s a special golf ball,” says the salesman. “You can never lose […]...
3. A golfer hit his drive on the first hole A golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back […]...
4. A man was playing a game of golf A man was playing a game of golf, and on hole 16, he hit the ball right into a field of buttercups. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying the beautiful buttercups. A fairy comes down and says “thank […]...
5. The hunting season This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying “NERDS NOT ALLOWED – ENTER AT OWN RISK!” He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks […]...
6. The double-sided truth Two cab drivers met. “Hey,” asked one, “what’s the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?” “Well,” the other responded, “when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other.”...
7. Flies A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” She asked. “Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh. Killing any?” She asked. “Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell?” He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were […]...
8. Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, “Damn…3 .2 meters!” The second one looks furtively around and says, “No police, anywhere. We can go!”...
9. Appearance: The Arms and Hands – Внешность: руки The arms and hands of our prehistoric ancestors were probably not very different from the human arm and hand today. The upper and lower joints of the arm, elbow and wrist, were probably very similar, and the basic structure of the hand with its five fingers was also the same. But according to some scientists, […]...
10. When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven. “Sorry, old man,” Peter said, “But I can’t let you in. You see the big book here says you committed one unpardonable sin back in 1978 – You took the Lord’s name in vain during a golf game.” “Oh, yes. I’ll never […]...
11. Значение идиомы fire [fire] See: BALL OF FIRE, BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEAor BETWEEN TWO FIRES, BUILD A FIRE UNDER, BURNT CHILD DREADS THE FIRE, CATCH FIRE, DRAW FIRE, FAT’S IN THE FIRE, FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE, HANGFIRE, HEAP COALS OF FIRE ON ONE’S HEAD, HOLD ONE’S FIRE or HOLD FIRE, IRON IN THE FIRE, […]...
12. Golf with older man A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee […]...
13. The strength of youth A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee […]...
14. Heated passions Mike and Keith are playing golf one hot Sunday afternoon. While approaching the sixteenth hole, they notice an old golfer teeing up by himself. The two friends stop and wait for the older golfer to finish his hole. After the old man drives the ball a considerable distance down the fairway, he collapses on the […]...
15. Значение идиомы ball of fire [ball of fire] {n.}, {informal} A person with great energy and ability; a person who can do something very well. He did poorly in school but as a salesman he is a ball of fire. The new shortstop is a good fielder but certainly no ball of fire in batting. Compare: HOT NUMBER, HOT ONE....
16. Jokes about Ireland 2 Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. “What’s wrong, Seamus?” Joey-Jim asked. “Well didn’t ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?” said Seamus. “Ah, praise the Almighty!” he replied with relief. “I thought I’d […]...
17. Значение идиомы get a grip on [get a grip on] {v. phr.} To take firm control of something. IfTim wants to keep his job, he had better get a grip on himself andstart working harder. Contrast: LOSE ONE’S GRIP....
18. Charged for speeding A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away […]...
19. Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband’s Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband’s penis, she jumped into her car and sped away. On her way down the highway, holding her husbands penis in her hand, she decided to throw it out the window. She opened her window and tossed the penis as far as she could and sped away […]...
20. The answer to the eternal question A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when […]...
21. Перевод слова policeman Policeman – полицейский Перевод слова Duty policeman – дежурный полицейский military policeman – военный полицейский on-duty policeman – полицейский при исполнении служебных обязанностей plain-clothes policeman – переодетый полицейский The Policeman caught the thief. Полицейский задержал вора. The Policeman blew his whistle. Полицейский свистнул в свисток. The Policeman wore his badge proudly. Полицейский с гордостью носил […]...
22. Значение идиомы tighten one’s belt [tighten one’s belt] {v. phr.} To live on less money than usual;use less food and other things. When father lost his job we had totighten our belts. Often used in the expression “tighten one’s beltanother notch”. When the husband lost his job, the Smiths had to dowithout many things, but when their savings were all […]...
23. Значение идиомы sand trap [sand trap] {n.} A low place on a golf course that is filled withsand to stop the ball. The golfer lost four strokes trying to getthe ball out of the sand trap....
24. Pessimist and a dog An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to […]...
25. Deaf lady in trouble One day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his […]...
26. Now he’s in trouble A police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, “what’s the problem officer?” To which the policeman responded, “I stopped you for running that red light behind you.” Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and […]...
27. Значение идиомы ball [ball] See: BASE ON BALLS, CARRY THE BALL, FLY BALL, FOUL BALL, GET THE BALL ROLLING, SET THE BALL ROLLING, START THE BALL ROLLING, GOPHER BALL, GROUND BALL, HAVE A HALL, HAVE SOMETHING ON THE BALL, JUMP BALL, KEEP THE BALL ROLLING, LONG BALL, ON THE BALL, PASSED BALL, PLAYBALL....
28. Значение идиомы look out for [look out for] {v. phr.} To watch out for; be on the alert. There were signs along the highway warning drivers to look out fordeer crossing....
29. Перевод идиомы ball of fire, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: ball of fire Перевод: активный и энергичный человек Пример: The woman is a ball of fire and is always busy doing something. Эта женщина очень активна и энергична, и она всегда чем-то занята....
30. A game of golf A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. “Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough,” replied his friend. “Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. […]...
31. Перевод идиомы get a grip on oneself / get a grip of oneself, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: get a grip on oneself / get a grip of oneself Перевод: взять себя в руки, контролировать в себя, владеть собой Пример: When he cried, she said, “Get a grip on yourself, Dear.” Когда он заплакал, она сказала: «Возьми себя в руки, дорогой». The man got a grip of himself and calmed down. Человек […]...
32. Значение идиомы lose one’s grip [lose one’s grip] {v. phr.} To fail in control or command; loseyour strength, force, or ability to lead. Mr. Jones began to losehis grip: he no longer wanted the hard jobs, and he left decisions toothers. When a locomotive engineer loses his grip, he is no longertrusted with express runs....
33. Перевод слова highway Highway – шоссе, магистраль Перевод слова Highway engineer – дорожный инженер express highway – скоростная трасса limited-access highway – дорога с ограниченным проездом Cars whooshed along the Highway. Автомобили мчались вдоль шоссе. Тhe Highway was lined with signboards Шоссе было размечено дорожными знаками. The great sea on the west is the natural Highway of commerce. […]...
34. Dealing with trouble A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The “disturbance” turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What’s more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too. Said the policeman, “I’ll bet that you’re also an escape artist-probably better than […]...
35. Swerve to avoid a box Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain […]...
36. A helicopter was flying around above Seattle A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of aircraft’s electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritted sign […]...
37. Перевод слова grip Grip – схватить, сжать Перевод слова To get a grip on oneself – владеть собой the story gripped me – рассказ захватил меня the child gripped his mother’s hand – ребенок крепко держался за руку матери Please relax your Grip on my arm. Пожалуйста, не сжимай мне так руку. Asthma has Gripped me by the […]...
38. Buying some golf balls A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro askes her what she wants. “I can’t find any green golf balls,” the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are […]...
39. Перевод слова truck Truck – грузовик Перевод слова Truck driver – водитель грузовика light truck – малотоннажный грузовой автомобиль to slam into a truck – врезаться в грузовик The Truck laboured up the hill. Грузовик с трудом взбирался вверх по склону. He has Trucked all his equipment. Он привез на грузовике все свое оборудование. He jumped into his […]...
40. JOHN F. KENNEDY: The Swingingest President Ever J. F. K., a gifted golfer, didn’t want to be photographed on the links. He was afraid of inheriting Eisenhower’s image, as a man putting his way through is presidency. An aficionado of Ian Fleming’s spy novels, John F. Kennedy relished keeping secrets almost as much as he enjoyed hearing them. One of Kennedy’s most […]...