I bet I can bite both of my eyes

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1. The wife is not speaking to me One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried. “What’s the matter?” the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and now she isn’t talking to me for a […]...
2. Bet made at the local bar A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy […]...
3. Перевод слова bite Bite – кусать Перевод слова To bite into an apple – откусить от яблока mosquito bite – комариный укус insects bite – насекомые кусают He was Bitten by a snake. Его укусила змея. The anchor Bit. Якорь прочно зацепился за дно. Does your dog Bite? Твоя собака кусается?...
4. A man walks into a bar and orders two drinks A man walks into a bar and orders two drinks. As the bartender watches he drinks one drink and pours the other one on his hand. He orders two more drinks and does the same thing. The third time the bartender asks him what’s going on. “Why are you pouring that drink on your hand”? […]...
5. 5 drinks A well dressed gentlemen enters the bar of a five star restaurant, sits at the bar and orders four very expensive drinks. The bartender serves them on a silver tray, setting all four in front of the patron. The man then consumes all four drinks in a matter of seconds. The bartender comments, “Wow, you […]...
6. A guy in a bar The bartender asks him “What’ll you have?”. The guy answers, “A scotch, please”. The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars”, to which he replies “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this”. A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You […]...
7. Значение идиомы put the bite on [put the bite on] {v. phr.}, {slang} To ask John put the bite on his friend for several tickets to thedance. Willie Mays put the bite on the Giants for a large raise....
8. Tarantino This guy comes into a bar walks to the bartender and says” Bartender, I got a bet for you. I’ll bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a drop.” The bartender looks at the glass. It’s 3 meters away. He says……”You’re telling me you’ll bet me $300 […]...
9. The story of a very short man A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots.” Bartender says, “You want them both now or one at a time?” The guy says,” Oh, I want them both now. One’s for me and one’s for this little guy here,” and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his […]...
10. I don’t owe anything for this drink The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.” The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.” A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, […]...
11. Значение идиомы bark worse than one’s bite [bark worse than one’s bite] {informal} Sound or speech more frightening or worse than your actions. The small dog barks savagely, but his bark is worse than his bite. The boss sometimes talks roughly to the men, but they know that his bark is worse than his bite. She was always scolding her children, but […]...
12. He is a very fast drinker A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?” The man says, “Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and […]...
13. Значение идиомы bite one’s lips [bite one’s lips] {v. phr.} To force oneself to remain silent and not to reveal one’s feelings. I had to bite my lips when I heard my boss give the wrong orders....
14. Free drinks for everyone One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: “Drinks for all on me including you, bartender.” So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: “That will be $36.50 please.” The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. The next […]...
15. Jewish fly A man goes into a bar and sits down to have a drink….he notices that at the other end of the bar is the most attractive woman he has ever seen….he is immediately lust-struck and decides that he must have her….He leans over to the bartender and asks if the bartender has any Spanish-fly in […]...
16. You can’t bring that dog in this bar A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man, ” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on […]...
17. A helping hand Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker. She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked around […]...
18. Значение идиомы bite one’s head off [bite one’s head off] {v. phr.} To answer someone in great anger; answer furiously. I’m sorry to tell you that I lost my job, but that’s no reason to bite my head off!...
19. Drunk orders himself a beer A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink – he could […]...
20. Перевод идиомы bite someone’s head off, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: bite someone’s head off Идиома: bite someone’s head off разг. Перевод: разговаривать, общаться с кем-либо грубо, со злостью Пример: She bites his head off every time he opens his mouth. Она кидается на него всякий раз, когда он пытается что-то сказать....
21. Перевод идиомы grab a bite (to eat), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: grab a bite (to eat) Перевод: перекусить немного Пример: We stopped at a small restaurant to grab a bite to eat. Мы остановились в небольшом ресторане, чтобы немного перекусить....
22. A drunken blonde goes into a bar A drunken blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, “Gimme a beer.” The bartender then asks, “Anheuser-Busch?” To which she replies, “Fine thanks, and how’s your cock?”...
23. Перевод сленгового выражения bite the bullet, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: bite the bullet Перевод: выдержать испытание; собраться с силами Пример: I have decided to bite the bullet and begin to study for my Master’s degree. Я решил собраться с силами, и начал учебу для получения степени магистра....
24. Перевод идиомы bite one’s tongue, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: bite one’s tongue Перевод: прикусить язык (сдержаться, чтобы не сказать лишнего) Пример: I always bite my tongue when I am talking with my aunt so that I do not say the wrong thing and make her angry. Я всегда прикусываю язык, когда разговариваю со своей тетей, чтобы не сказать лишнего и не разозлить ее....
25. Beware of IRS The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000.00 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the […]...
26. Пословица / поговорка one’s bark is worse than one’s bite – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: one’s bark is worse than one’s bite Перевод: лает, но не кусает; от него (от нее и т. д.) больше шума, чем вреда; больше бранится, чем на самом деле сердится Пример: The supervisor was always threatening to fire anyone who was late but he never did anything. His bark was worse than […]...
27. Some very common traits in two drunks A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s […]...
28. A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s […]...
29. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Grab a bite to eat” Billie Билли Hello stranger! How are things? Привет, незнакомка! Как дела? Victoria Виктория Fine thanks, how about you? Хорошо, а как у тебя? Billie Билли Great. But what are you doing here? We never see you in the canteen. У меня отлично. Но что ты здесь делаешь? Мы тебя никогда не встречали в столовой. Victoria […]...
30. The customs of an Irishman An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after […]...
31. Jokes of science 03 Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side. Why did the chicken cross the road? Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads. A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender […]...
32. This pill allows you to fly A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if […]...
33. I trust you that you paid A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is donem the bartender tells him he owes $9.00. “But I paid, don’t you remember?” says the customer. “Okay,” says the bartender, “If you said you paid, you did.” The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees […]...
34. Значение идиомы bite the hand that feeds one [bite the hand that feeds one] {v. phr.} To turn against or hurt a helper or supporter; repay kindness with wrong. He bit the hand that fed him when he complained against his employer....
35. Перевод идиомы with one’s eyes open / with one’s eyes wide open, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: with one’s eyes open / with one’s eyes wide open Перевод: сознательно, с открытыми глазами; полностью сознавая всю ситуацию Пример: I knew Bill for a long time, and I went into this relationship with my eyes wide open. Я знала Била уже долгое время, и я начала наши отношения сознательно....
36. Значение идиомы bite off more than one can chew [bite off more than one can chew] {v. phr.}, {informal} To try to do more than you can; be too confident of your ability. He bit off more than he could chew when he agreed to edit the paper alone. He started to repair his car himself, but realized that he had bitten off more […]...
37. A bartender was getting ready to close for the night A bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, “This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!” The scared bartender pleads, “Don’t shoot, please! I’ll do as you say!” The robber yells, “Shut […]...
38. Перевод слова false False – ошибочный, фальшивый, не настоящий Перевод слова False accusation – ложное обвинение false note – фальшивая нота false document – поддельный документ He registered at the hotel under a False name. Он зарегистрировался в гостинице под чужим именем. His friends played him False. Его друзья обманули его. She’s so False. Она такая врунья....
39. Значение идиомы bite the dust [bite the dust] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To be killed in battle. Captain Jones discharged his gun and another guerrilla bit the dust. 2. To fall in defeat; go down before enemies; be overthrown; lose. Our team bit the dust today....
40. Looking to buy a frog A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?” The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. […]...