Frivolous Old Gal

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1. A fine sermon A man finally goes with his wife to church. The man was so impressed with the preacher’s sermon he stopped on the way out to shake his hand. “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a DAMNED fine sermon.” The preacher says “Why thank you sir, but we don’t used profanity in the house of the […]...
2. A lost skill This preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning. “This mower work, son?” the preacher asked. Little Johnny said, “Sure does – just pull on the cord hard, though.” The preacher took the mower home and when he got […]...
3. Перевод слова joint Joint – соединеннный, единый; сустав, сочленение Перевод слова Joint catalogue – сводный каталог to put a bone into joint again – вправить вывих joint debtor – совместный должник joint efforts – совместные усилия The pipe is leaking at the Joints. Труба течет на стыке. Having a Joint in the middle, it folds. Поскольку посередине есть […]...
4. The Preacher buys a Parrot A preacher is buying a parrot. “Are you sure it doesn’t scream, yell, or swear?” asked the preacher. “Oh absolutely. It’s a religious parrot,” the storekeeper assures him. “Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord’s prayer, and when you pull on the left he […]...
5. The Hat An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule. When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit […]...
6. Значение идиомы put one’s nose out of joint [put one’s nose out of joint] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To make youjealous; leave you out of favor. When Jane accepted Tom’sinvitation it put Jack’s nose out of joint. 2. To ruin your plans;cause you disappointment. Joe’s mother put his nose out of joint bynot letting him go to the movie....
7. Значение идиомы clip joint [clip joint] {n.}, {slang} A low-class night club or other business where people are cheated. The man got drunk and lost all his money in a clip joint. The angry woman said the store was a clip joint....
8. Перевод сленгового выражения joint, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: joint Сленговое выражение: joint груб. Перевод: “косячок”; сделанная вручную сигарета из травки, марихуаны Пример: Pass the joint over here. Передавай косяк сюда...
9. Перевод слова glad Glad – довольный, радостный, веселый Перевод слова I’m glad to hear it – рад это слышать glad I wasn’t there – рад, что меня там не было glad countenance – веселое лицо I am so Glad to see you. Я так рад тебя видеть. What a warm, Glad summer! Какое теплое приятное лето! I was […]...
10. Значение идиомы case the joint [case the joint] {v. phr.}, {slang} 1. To study the layout of a place one wishes to burglarize. The hooded criminals carefully cased the joint before robbing the neighborhood bank. 2. To familiarize oneself with a potential workplace or vacation spot as a matter of preliminary planning. “Hello Fred,” he said. “Are you working here […]...
11. Перевод слова tired Tired – усталый, утомленный, исчерпанный Перевод слова Tired face – утомленное лицо a tired joke – избитый анекдот tired apple – сморщенное яблоко old, tired dress – старое, изношенное платье She was Tired and sleepy. Она очень устала, и ей очень хотелось спать. I’m Tired. Let’s go home. Я устал. Давайте пойдем домой. I was […]...
12. Ear Little Johnny was in a spelling bee in class. He had to spell the word and use it in a sentence. The teacher asked him to please spell the word EAR. Little Johnny stood up and proudly said EAR E, A, R. Then to use it in a sentence he pretended to take a big […]...
13. Значение идиомы call it a night [call it a night] {v. phr.} To declare that an evening party or other activity conducted late in the day is finished. I am so tired that I am going to call it a night and go to bed....
14. A roving reporter from the BBC was touring a remote part of A roving reporter from the BBC was touring a remote part of the Scottish Highlands looking for material for a documentary about the way of life there. REPORTER: Hello there, excuse me, I’m from the BBC and I’m gathering material for a documentary about the way of life in the remote parts of the Scottish […]...
15. Getting a Fresh Start Nico: I’m moving to Atlanta. I want a Fresh start. Celia: This is a surprise. I thought you were going To stick it out here and try To put the past behind you. Nico: There are too many Reminders here. I want a Clean slate. What’s done is done and I’m tired of Blame and […]...
16. Значение идиомы glad hand [glad hand] {n.}, {informal} A friendly handshake; a warm greeting. Father went to the front door to give Uncle Fred the glad hand whenhe arrived. The politician went down the street on election daygiving everyone the glad hand....
17. Short Father Christmas What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck! What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? […]...
18. The hamster and the pollar bear The daughter asks her mother: -My dear mother, please buy for me a hamster! -My daughter you will get tired of it, what will you do with it then? It isn’t a toy, you can’t throw it away! -Then we will buy a cat! The cat will eat a hamster and it will live with […]...
19. Orgasmic Problems The husband, tired of a listless sex life came right out and asked his wife during a recent love-making session, “How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?” She looked him rite in the eye and said, “You’re never home!”...
20. Перевод слова call Call – окликать, звонить, вызывать Перевод слова To call for help – взывать о помощи to call out the firemen – вызвать пожарных I’ll call you back – я вам потом перезвоню Did you Call? Вы меня звали? Did anyone Call? Мне кто-нибудь звонил? The complex whole which we Call “civilization”. Сложное единство, которое мы […]...
21. Waxing eloquent on the sins of the flesh Waxing eloquent on the sins of the flesh, the dynamic young preacher raised himself to full height, leaned over the pulpit and boomed, “Brothers and sisters, if there are any among you who have committed adultery, may your tongue cleave to the woof of your mouf!”...
22. Advantages and disadvantages of TV – Преимущества и недостатки телевидения TV has good and bad sides. First of all it keeps people informed, we can learn a lot of information watching TV. We can choose programs that appeal to us more, because TV provides programs for all interests. Sometimes we can relax, entertain ourselves when we are tired. Advertisement on TV gives us information about […]...
23. New York Jokes New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney… – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
24. The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the church and said “Whoever is not willing to take a bullet for Jesus better leave now.” More than half of the congregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their […]...
25. The talking dog A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. “This is a talking dog,” he said. “And you can have him for five dollars.” The neighbour said, “Who do you think you’re kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain’t no such animal.” Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. “Please […]...
26. Значение идиомы life [life] See: BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH, BIG AS LIFE, CAT HAS NINELIVES, CHARMED LIFE, COME ALIVE OT COME TO LIFE, FACTS OF LIFE, FORDEAR LIFE, FOR THE LIFE OF ONE, LEAD A DOG’S LIFE, NIGHT LIFE, NOT ONYOUR LIFE OR ONE’S LIFE, TAKE ONE’S LIFE IN ONE’S HANDS, TIME OF ONE’SLIFE, YOU BET or YOU […]...
27. An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, “Operator, giff me beck the party!” She says, “I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to make the call all over again.” He says, “What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party.” She […]...
28. Значение идиомы sick and tired [sick and tired] {adj.} 1. Feeling strong dislike for somethingrepeated or continued too long; exasperated; annoyed. Jane was sickand tired of always having to wait for Bill, so when he didn’t arriveon time she left without him. John is sick and tired of having hisstudies interrupted. I’ve been studying all day, and I’m sick andtired […]...
29. Значение идиомы dead tired [dead tired] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Very tired; exhausted; worn out. She was dead tired at the end of the day’s work. Compare: DEAD ON ONE’S FEET....
30. Punishment for Gates Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you’ll be locked […]...
31. How to call penis At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a […]...
32. Household items Back in the ’70s, days of conspicuous (ahem) consumption, Hugh Hefner was showing a friend around the Playboy Mansion. At one point, Hefner turned to his friend, and said, “Did you ever hear this joke? A woman receives flowers from her boyfriend. She turns to her friend, and says, ‘Oh, great. Now I’ll have to […]...
33. Значение идиомы dead on one’s feet [dead on one’s feet] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Very tired but still standing or walking; too tired to do more; exhausted. Jimmy never leaves a job unfinished. He continues to work even when he’s dead on his feet. After the soldiers march all night, they are dead on their feet. Compare: DEAD TIRED, WEAR OUT....
34. Little Johnny comes home from school Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,” and would his mother,”please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.” So johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, […]...
35. English language Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let’s face it English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England French fries were not invented in France. We […]...
36. Collection 12 What’s the latest dope – besides you? I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw, but all they got was a moving picture. You don’t believe in being artificial. You want people to hate you for yourself. When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you […]...
37. Значение идиомы on call [on call] {adj. phr.} 1. Having to be paid on demand. Jim didn’thave the money ready even though he knew the bill was on call. 2.Ready and available. This is Dr. Kent’s day to be on call at thehospital. The nurse is on call for emergency cases....
38. A dangerous animal The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in […]...
39. Trying to Get Off the Phone Erin: So I told Joey that I had no Intention of letting him use my car again. Can you believe The nerve of that guy, after what he did? Curran: That’s terrible, but I’m going to have To let you go. I have an appointment… Erin: But I didn’t tell you what else he said. […]...
40. Finding Other Singles I was tired of being Single. All of my friends had Paired up and I was Left hanging. Like everybody else these days, I tried using the Internet to find other singles, but I never had any luck. Cruising for my ideal woman among a bunch of Lonely hearts is like looking for a Needle […]...