Expresso and a syringe

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1. Constantly complaining A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour., Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth […]...
2. Dining at a Restaurant II (Fast) I love coming to this Italian restaurant. The appetizers and desserts are To die for. When the waiter came to our table To take our order, my friend ordered a lobster ravioli dish, and I ordered my favorite, lasagna. The waiter then asked us, “Would you like a Soup or salad with that?” My friend […]...
3. The Microsoft waiter Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, it’s still there. Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it […]...
4. Finding a Chinese Jew Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. “Sid,” asked Al, “are there any Jews in China?” “I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?” When the waiter came by, Al asked him, “Are there any Chinese Jews?” “I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went […]...
5. A delicacy An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, “What is that you just served?” The waiter replied, ” […]...
6. A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant. The onion soup gets to her, and as the waiter is serving the main dishes she lets loose a bombastic fart. Trying to save face, she says to the waiter: “Sir! Please stop that immediately.” “Certainly, madame,” replies the waiter with a bow, […]...
7. Dining at a Restaurant I (Fast) Well, I love going out to restaurants to eat. One of the best experiences I’ve had recently was at a place here in Los Angeles called Il Fornaio. It’s an Italian restaurant in a very nice part of Beverly Hills. I don’t go there very often-I can’t really afford it, but every once in a […]...
8. A Problem with a Restaurant Check I waved my hand To get the waiter’s attention. Waiter: Yes? Leslie: The Check, please. Waiter: Would you like any Dessert, or some tea or coffee? Leslie: No, just the check. Thanks. Waiter: Here you are. I’ll Ring that up for you when you’re ready. Leslie: Thank you. Oh, there seems to be a Mistake […]...
9. Spain Jokes Spanish dining An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is. “These, senor,” replied the waiter in broken English, “are the arms of the bull killed in the ring today.” The tourist swallowed hard but tasted the […]...
10. Discovering too late that a Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant’s owner waited nervously for the clerics’ reaction. “Quick, man,” he whispered to the waiter, “what did they say?” “Nothing,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets.”...
11. A panda bear walks into a restaurant A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door. The owner of the restaurant says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying […]...
12. Перевод слова waiter Waiter – официант Перевод слова Call the waiter over – подозвать официанта deft waiter – расторопный официант leave a gratuity for the waiter – оставить официанту на чай Has the Waiter taken your order? Официант принял ваш заказ? He took a job as a Waiter. Он устроился на работу в качестве официанта. Did you tip […]...
13. A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, and asked, “Do all the waiters […]...
14. George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order. “I’ll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil,” answers the President. “But sir, what about the mad cow?!!” asks the waiter. “Oh,” answers Dubya, “she’ll order for herself.”...
15. Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight’s special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. The chicken sounds good, I’ll have that,” Hillary says. The waiter nods. And the vegetable?” he asks. Oh, He’ll have the fish,” Hillary replies....
16. Значение идиомы bring out [bring out] {v.} 1. To cause to appear; make clear. His report brought out the foolishness of the plan. Brushing will bring out the beauty of your hair. 2. To help grow or develop. The teacher’s coaching brought out a wonderful singing voice of great power and warmth. 3. To offer to the public by […]...
17. Eating Fast Food My friend Julia called me The other day. She wanted to Grab some lunch and asked me if I wanted to go to the local Fast food place down the street. I said sure, even though I knew it wouldn’t be good for me. I Hopped in my car and Swung by to pick her […]...
18. Collection 16 At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people – you are obnoxious in a different and worse way! You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one. You remind me of Moses. Every time you open your mouth, the bull rushes. They say that travel broadens […]...
19. Значение идиомы bring around [bring around] or [bring round] {v.} 1. {informal} To restore to health or consciousness cure. He was quite ill, but good nursing brought him around. Compare: BRING TO. 2. To cause a change in thinking; persuade; convince; make willing. After a good deal of discussion he brought her round to his way of thinking....
20. Значение идиомы bring on [bring on] {v.} To result in; cause; produce. The murder of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in the summer of 1914 brought on the First World War. Spinal meningitis brought on John’s deafness when he was six years old. Reading in a poor light may bring on a headache....
21. Упражнения “Неопределенный артикль” (с ответами) 1. Поставьте неопределенный артикль там, где необходимо. Diana went up to young girl and asked: “Is there Italian restaurant near here?” She thought for moment and said: “Yes, there is one. Just go straight ahead 200 metres. You’ll see it in old building, opposite Chinese restaurant.” Diana went inside and saw man playing the piano. […]...
22. Really torrid honeymoon After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, “You know what I really feel like honey?” “Well sure,” she […]...
23. One liners about food The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called “The Fission Chips.” On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack. A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry. A couple of kids tried using pickles […]...
24. Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, “How was I born?” “The stork brought you to us.” “Oh,” said Little Johnny. “Well, how did you and daddy get born?” he asked. “Oh, the stork brought us too.” “So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?” “Well, darling, the stork […]...
25. Значение идиомы bring to [bring to] {v.} 1. To restore to consciousness; wake from sleep, anesthesia, hypnosis, or fainting. Smelling salts will often bring a fainting person to. Compare: BRING AROUND. 2.To bring a ship or boat to a stop. Reaching the pier, he brought the boat smartly to....
26. Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, “Do you ever get to feeling horny?” “Yes,” her friend replied. “What do you do about it?” “I usually suck on a Lifesaver.” After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, “Well, what beach do you go to?”...
27. Значение идиомы bring up [bring up] {v.} 1. To take care of ; raise, train, educate. He gave much attention and thought to bringing up his children. Joe was born in Texas but brought up in Oklahoma. 2. {informal} To stop; halt. – Usually used with “short”. He brought the car up short when the light changed to red. […]...
28. Значение идиомы bring up the rear [bring up the rear] {v. phr.} 1. To come last in a march, parade, or procession; end a line. The fire truck with Santa on it brought up the rear of the Christmas parade. The governor and his staff brought up the rear of the parade. 2. {informal} To do least well; do the most […]...
29. Course of action One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the water cooler at the office. “Veronica, I just don’t know what to do,” Gloria said to her friend at work. “That good-looking Alex in accounting asked me out on a date for Saturday night. Should I go?” “Oh, my God!” her friend exclaimed. “He’ll wine you, […]...
30. Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner. They notice Rocky Mountain Oysters on the menu and wondered what that was. They ask the waiter who replies “Oh Sister, those are nuts.” She answers “Do you mean like the kind you crack with a rock?” “No. The kind you rock on a crack.”...
31. Значение идиомы bring about [bring about] {v.} To cause; produce; lead to. The war had brought about great changes in living. Drink brought about his downfall....
32. Значение идиомы bring down [bring down] {v. phr.}, {slang}, {informal} 1. To deflate. John brought Ted down very cleverly with his remarks. 2. To depress. The funeral brought me down completely....
33. Перевод идиомы get something straight, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: get something straight Перевод: ясно, четко, правильно понять что-либо Пример: I could not get what my friend was trying to tell me straight. Я не совсем понимал, что мой друг пытался мне сказать....
34. Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he went to see him. […]...
35. Перевод идиомы bring home the bacon, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: bring home the bacon Перевод: 1. зарабатывать на жизнь, обеспечивать семью 2. преуспеть, добиться успеха Пример: My friend works hard to bring home the bacon for his family. Мой друг много работает, чтобы обеспечить свою семью. Yesterday their powerhouse basketball team brought home the bacon one more time. Вчера их энергичная баскетбольная команда еще […]...
36. When ‘thirty-seven-fifty’ for your wine means $3750 You’re at a restaurant and can’t be bothered with looking at the wine list, so why not ask the waiter for a suggestion, right? But for one New Jersey man, this move led to an expensive misunderstanding. According to NJ. com, customer Joe Lentini was at Bobby Flay Steak in Atlantic City, N. J. when […]...
37. Перевод слова restaurant Restaurant – ресторан Перевод слова Buffet restaurant – ресторанчик, работающий по системе “шведский стол” decent restaurant – приличный ресторан to dine at a restaurant – обедать в ресторане We had dinner at a local Restaurant. Мы поужинали в местном ресторане. That Restaurant was a real find! Тот ресторан был настоящей находкой! The Restaurant opened earlier […]...
38. Перевод слова straight Straight – прямой, прямо Перевод слова The straightest way to – самый прямой путь в straight run – беспосадочный полет to ride straight – ехать напрямик to drink straight from the bottle – пить прямо из горлышка Are you going Straight to London? Вы едете прямо в Лондон? He shot Straight. Он метко выстрелил. He […]...
39. Значение идиомы bring to pass [bring to pass] {v. phr.}, {informal} To make happen; succeed in causing. By much planning, the mother brought the marriage to pass. The change in the law was slow in coming, and it took a disaster to bring it to pass. Compare: BRING ABOUT, COME TO PASS....
40. Get me something cheap After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. “That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. “Thats […]...