During an Army war game

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1. A difficult golf game Robert goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home three hours late. His wife asks him, “What took you so long?” The guy says, “That was the worst game of golf I’ve ever had. We got up to the first tee, and Charlie hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack.” […]...
2. Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, “No, Mr. President! I said, Throw the first PITCH!”...
3. Перевод слова army Army – армия Перевод слова Army brass – командующий армией to organize an army – создать армию to raise an army – собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now – семнадцатый […]...
4. The Army Airborne major was used to harassment The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. “Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'” the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, “because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in […]...
5. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands There’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on […]...
6. There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for a soldier and propositioned him. The Salvation Army gent said, “Ma’am, you may be forgiven, as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of ‘original sin’?” The hooker replied, “Well, maybe and maybe not. But if it’s “really” […]...
7. Army needs new recruits Top Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting 8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles 7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit? 6. Get rid of all those creepy “Richard Simmons Wants […]...
8. A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. “Sergeant-Major!” the colonel shouted.”Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave.” “Yessir,” the Sgt. Major replied. A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. “Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate […]...
9. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. “So, did you […]...
10. A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, “Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!” The private reports as ordered, “Yes sir?” The general says, “See that man over there? Kill him!” Without […]...
11. How Army policy began This is Army policy all begins… Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes […]...
12. Save the dead rabbit A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]...
13. A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, “Yes, that’s my wife’s seat. We have never missed a game since […]...
14. Hair spray A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]...
15. A game of golf A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. “Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough,” replied his friend. “Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. […]...
16. How Chuko Liang Used A Lute To Single-Handedly Defeat An Army Of 150,000 During China’s Three Kingdoms period there was a brilliant general and master strategist of Shu Han named Chuko “Sleeping Dragon” Liang. During the War of the Three Kingdoms, he had sent a majority of his soldiers many miles away before he was alerted that an opposing army of 150,000 was headed towards the small town […]...
17. Значение идиомы spin one’s wheels [spin one’s wheels] {v. phr.} 1. Said of cars stuck in snow or mudwhose wheels are turning without the car moving forward. There wasso much snow on the driveway that my car’s wheels were spinning in itand we couldn’t get going. 2. To exert effort in a job without makingany progress. I’ve been working for […]...
18. Перевод слова contribute Contribute – вносить вклад, обогатить Перевод слова To contribute to the Red Cross – жертвовать в фонд Красного Креста to contribute time – уделять время contribute a share – вносить свою долю We Contributed clothing for the flood victims. Мы пожертвовали одежду в помощь пострадавшим от наводнения. Public opinion can Contribute to government decisions. Общественное […]...
19. An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, “But you just got a new pair last month!” “Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,” stammered the private. “Accident, what kind of an accident?” […]...
20. Значение идиомы drag race [drag race] {n.}, {slang} An automobile race in which the drivers try to cover a certain distance in the shortest possible time. Drag races are often held on airport landing strips. Holding drag races is a good way to stop teenage hot rod racing on public highways. Compare: DRAG STRIP....
21. Значение идиомы grease the wheels [grease the wheels] {v. phr.}, {informal} To do something or act tomake something go smoothly or happen in the way that is wanted. Mr. Davis asked a friend to grease the wheels so he could borrow moneyfrom the bank. William’s father tried to grease the wheels for himto get a new job....
22. President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton’s ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, “Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!”. She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks […]...
23. A young bloke has started work on a property A young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but come evening he’s half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB radio to check if he’s all right. “I’ve got a problem, Boss. I’m stuck ‘ere. I’ve hit a […]...
24. A game of Animal Football The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. “I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I’ve seen it on T. V.” He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to […]...
25. Значение идиомы drag strip [drag strip] {n.}, {slang} A place where drag races are held. Before the race Paul loaded his racer onto the trailer to take it out of town to the drag strip for the race. Compare: DRAG RACE....
26. A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, “If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.” The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. […]...
27. Перевод слова drag Drag – тянуть, тащить; обуза, помеха Перевод слова Drag coefficient – коэффициент сопротивления a heavy drag uphill – трудный подъем в гору to be a drag on smb.’s career – мешать чьей-л. карьере He Dragged the big suitcase behind him. Он тащил за собой большой чемодан. The speech Dragged on for two hours. Выступление затянулось […]...
28. Bad news A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Mr. Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever […]...
29. A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever […]...
30. Значение идиомы throw in [throw in] {v.} 1. To give or put in as an addition; to give to orwith something else. John threw in a couple of tires when he soldBill his bicycle. Mary and Tess were talking about the prom, andJoan threw in that she was going with Fred. Compare: FOR GOODMEASURE. 2. To push into operating […]...
31. Dangerous Freeway Driving I do a lot of driving in my job. You would think that driving several hours Each way would Get old really fast, but I have ways of making an Interminable drive seem much more exciting. I like to drive fast on the freeways. I usually Pass all of the slower cars by staying in […]...
32. Перевод слова driver Driver – водитель, шофер Перевод слова Co-driver – водитель-напарник drink driver – водитель, управляющий автомобилем в нетрезвом виде learner driver – лицо, обучающееся вождению He’s a rotten Driver. Водитель из него никакой. He is a careful Driver. Он осторожный водитель. He is a pretty awful Driver. Он довольно ужасный водитель. Происхождение слова driver Образовано от […]...
33. Parks And Recreation’s fake game Cones Of Dunshire is now a real game (kind of) With his love of Game Of Thrones, Star Trek, and everything else the Internet holds dear, Parks And Recreation’s Ben Wyatt has become something of an icon for America’s nerderati. So it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that Mayfair Games, the company that makes Settlers Of Catan, took the time to make an […]...
34. Значение идиомы turn in [turn in] {v.} 1. or [hand in] To give to someone; deliver tosomeone. I want you to turn in a good history paper. When thefootball season was over, we turned in our uniforms. 2. To inform on;report. She turned them in to the police for breaking the streetlight. 3. To give in return for something. […]...
35. These two guys are car pooling home from work one day These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. “Look”, he shouts “What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?” The […]...
36. Значение идиомы main drag [main drag] {n.}, {colloquial} 1. The most important street orthoroughfare in a town. Lincoln Avenue is the main drag of ourtown. 2. The street where the dope pushers and the prostitutes are. Wells Street is the main drag of Chicago, actionwise....
37. Play the Office Game Here’s a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINT Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk. When they’re not looking, pour […]...
38. A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!” The driver of Rolls looks […]...
39. Значение идиомы throw in the sponge [throw in the sponge] or [throw up the sponge] or [throw in thetowel] {v. phr.}, {informal} To admit defeat; accept loss. Aftertaking a beating for five rounds, the fighter’s seconds threw in thesponge. When Harold saw his arguments were not being accepted, hethrew in the towel and left. Syn.: GIVE UP....
40. Перевод сленгового выражения drag queen, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: drag queen Сленговое выражение: drag queen груб. Перевод: мужчина-гомосексуалист, который одевается как женщина Пример: The drag queens on the subway are wearing gold dresses! Гомосексуалисты в метро носят платья золотого цвета!...