Deadly disease

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1. Little girl walks into the bathroomA little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks «What’s that?» Her sister replies «That is my possum, sis!» The young girl replies «Oh, OK» The next day she sees her mother get out of the ... Читать далее...
2. An old retired man goes to his wife one dayAn old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, «I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.» The wife says, «No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.» Husband replies, «Our savings are all gone and you ... Читать далее...
3. A gruesome murderA highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, «Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?» A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked ... Читать далее...
4. Значение идиомы girl friend[girl friend] {n.}, {informal} 1. A female friend or companion. Jane is spending the night at her girlfriend’s house. 2. A boy’ssteady girl; the girl or woman partner in a love affair; girl;sweetheart. John is taking his girl friend to the dance. Contrast:BOYFRIEND....
5. A FightGinger: I can’t believe it. You’re late again! Fred: I got Caught up at work. What are you so Worked up about? Ginger: I’ve Had it up to here with your Excuses. If you knew you were going to be late, why didn’t you call? We’ve Been over this a hundred times. Fred: There wasn’t ... Читать далее...
6. A little old lady gets onto a crowded busA little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, «If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.» The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. ... Читать далее...
7. The woman who can smell Parkinson’s diseaseMeet the woman from Perth whose super sense of smell could change the way Parkinson’s disease is diagnosed. Joy Milne’s husband, Les, died in June, aged 65. He worked as a consultant anaesthetist before being diagnosed with Parkinson’s at the age of 45. Joy first detected the odour on her husband Les, who was diagnosed ... Читать далее...
8. A little girl and a little boy were at day careA little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, «Hey Tommy, wanna play house?» He says, «Sure! What do you want me to do?» The girl replies, «I want you to communicate your thoughts.» «Communicate my thoughts?» said a bewildered Tommy. «I have no ... Читать далее...
9. Buying Computer AccessoriesGinger: It’s really nice of you to come with me to buy my computer. This is the Desktop I’m thinking about. Kevin: This is okay, but if I were you, I’d buy a Laptop. It’s more Versatile. You can travel with it. Ginger: I’m not sure about getting a laptop. The Screen is so small. ... Читать далее...
10. Buying Computer AccessoriesGinger: It’s really nice of you to come with me to buy my computer. This is the Desktop I’m thinking about. Kevin: This is okay, but if I were you, I’d buy a Laptop. It’s more Versatile. You can travel with it. Ginger: I’m not sure about getting a laptop. The Screen is so small. ... Читать далее...
11. Barbie and G. I. JoeA little girl is in line to see Santa. When it’s her turn, she climbs up on Santa’s lap. Santa asks, «What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?» The little girl replies, «I want a Barbie and G. I. Joe.» Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, «I ... Читать далее...
12. Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wivesTwo buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. «Does your wife ever… well, you know… does she… well, let you do it doggie style?» asked one of the two. «Well, not exactly,» his friend replied, «She’s into the dog trick aspect of it.» «Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?» «Well… not exactly. More like ... Читать далее...
13. Reducing Household ExpensesRoland: If we want to save enough money to buy a house, we need to get serious about our Finances and do some Financial planning. I think the first step is to create a Household budget. Ginger: Okay by me. You know that I’m All about the Bottom line. Roland: Yeah, right. I think we ... Читать далее...
14. Rabbi’s anniversary presentA Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid. When he walks into his hotel room, there’s a beautiful girl, nude, lying on the bed. She says, «Hi, Rabbi, I’m a little something extra that the president of the ... Читать далее...
15. Three girls died and were brought to the gatesThree girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, «Before entering you must answer this simple question.» «Which is…?», they replied in unison. «Have you been a good girl?», he asked the first girl. ... Читать далее...
16. While enjoying a drink with a mate one nightWhile enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he’d like to come back to her place. The pair jump into ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова angryAngry — сердитый, недовольный, раздраженный Перевод слова Angry voices — сердитые голоса to be angry — сердиться angry mob — озлобленная толпа angry mood — сердитое настроение He was beginning to get Angry. Он уже начинал сердиться. ‘Please don’t be Angry with me,’ she said. — Пожалуйста, не сердитесь на меня, — сказала она. Joey ... Читать далее...
18. Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tellsLittle Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. «Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,» she asks, «will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?» Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says «No, I don’t think ... Читать далее...
19. A poor little girl was begging in the streetA poor little girl was begging in the street. A man passed by and the girl mumbled, «Please, sir, give me some money for a fix.» The man answers, astonished, «Good heavens! But, how old are you, little girl?» «I’m eight, sir.» «Oh, my God, and how long have you been into drugs?» «Since I ... Читать далее...
20. Man walks into a supermarket and buysMan walks into a supermarket and buys : 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner The girl at the checkout looks at him and says «Single are you?» The man replies very sarcastically «How did you ... Читать далее...
21. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы tell off[tell off] {v.} 1. To name or count one by one and give somespecial duty to; give a share to. Five boy scouts were told off toclean the camp. 2. {informal} To speak to angrily or sharply; attackwith words; scold. Mr. Black got angry and told off the boss. Bobby kept pulling Sally’s hair; finally ... Читать далее...
23. Two mates are having a chat over a beerTwo mates are having a chat over a beer. «Do you like sheilas with bad body odour and bad breath?» one bloke asks his friend. «No way!» his mate replies. «Well,» says the first bloke, «do you like pussies you could hide a watermelon in?» «Fuck no!» his mate replies. «Well,» says the first bloke, ... Читать далее...
24. Help the lonely childSandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова deadlyDeadly — смертельный, убийственный Перевод слова Deadly poison — смертельный яд deadly boredom — смертельная скука deadly serious — в высшей степени серьезный We sat in Deadly silence. Мы сидели в мертвой тишине. I am pushed for money, Deadly. Мне позарез нужны деньги. His face had a Deadly paleness. Он был бледен как смерть. Происхождение ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы get a rise out of[get a rise out of] {v. phr.}, {slang} 1. To have some fun with by making angry; tease. The boys get a rise out ofJoe by teasing him about his girl friend. 2. {vulgar}, {avoidable} Tobe sexually aroused Jim always gets a rise out ofwatching adult movies....
27. Three guys were sitting in a bar talkingThree guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; «You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the ... Читать далее...
28. A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet themA girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. «What’s your name?» she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers «My name’s Huey and I’m having a great day going in and out of puddles.» She goes up to the second dog and asks «What’s your name?» The ... Читать далее...
29. Dealing With a Contagious DiseaseIsabelle: You can’t walk through that door with all of your clothes on! Linus: What?! I’ve just come off of a 12-hour flight. I’m tired and I want to get into my own house and into my own bed. Isabelle: I know, but you’ve just returned from McQuillanland and I’ve just read that anyone who ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова diseaseDisease — болезнь Перевод слова Complication of disease — осложнение в процессе болезни diminished resistance to the disease — ослабленная сопротивляемость заболеванию acquired disease — приобретенное заболевание The Disease is resistant to cure. Болезнь не поддается лечению. Hate is the new Disease of our time. Ненависть — это новая болезнь нашего времени. He has some ... Читать далее...
31. Assault with a deadly weapon: Florida man charged with throwing alligator into Wendy’sAuthorities in Florida have arrested a man accused of throwing a live alligator through a restaurant’s drive-through window. Investigators identified Joshua James, of Jupiter, Fla., as the man who tossed the 3½-foot reptile into a Wendy’s last fall, according to a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission incident report. He faces three charges related to ... Читать далее...
32. 3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, «When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, «I would like to hear them say that I ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы give the bounce[give the bounce] or [give the gate] {v. phr.}, {slang} 1. or [givethe air] To stop being a friend or lover to ; separate from. Mary gave John the bounce after she saw him dating another girl. Bill and Jane had an argument and Bill is giving her the gate. 2. or[give the sack] also ... Читать далее...
34. A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial IndiaA British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. «Sergeant-Major!» the colonel shouted.»Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave.» «Yessir,» the Sgt. Major replied. A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. «Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate ... Читать далее...
35. True loveThree men were drinking at a bar — a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, «For her birthday, I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me ... Читать далее...
36. A hundred dollarsA man comes home drunk in the wee hours of the morning to find his wife angry and waiting for him at the door. «Out drinking again!?» she says. «How much money did you spend this time?» «$100,» answers the man. «$100!» she shouts. «That’s ridiculous, spending that much in one night!» «Easy for you ... Читать далее...
37. A hearty breakfastA man goes into a greasy spoon-type cafe and he says, «I would like one of your special full English breakfasts». «No problem.» Comes the greasy little fat girls reply from behind the counter. «But I want it MY way.» says the man. «What do you mean your way?» comes the reply. The man says, ... Читать далее...
38. An elderly man goes into a brothelAn elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. «I’m 90 years old,» he says. «90!» replies the woman. «Don’t you realize you’ve had it?» «Oh, sorry,» says the old man, ... Читать далее...
39. An old rabbi is talking with one of his friendsAn old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, «I gladdened seven hearts today.» «Seven hearts?» asks the friend. «How did you do that?» The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, «I performed three marriages.» The friend looks at him quizically. «Seven?» he asks. «I could understand six, ... Читать далее...
40. An old sailor goes to a brothelAn old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins. «How am I doing?» He asks. «Three knots,» she replies. «Three knots? What’s that mean?» «You’re not hard, you’re not in, and you’re not getting your money back.»...