Confuse traffic signs

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1. Common Traffic SignsBen: Why are you Squinting like that? Lauren: I left my glasses at the office. Ben: You mean you can’t see?! Lauren: I can see pretty well. What was that yellow Sign we just passed? Ben: It said, «Dead End.» Stop! Turn around. Lauren: I can’t. That sign says, «No U-turn.» Ben: Okay, but we ... Читать далее...
2. Obey the speed limitSitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see’s a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, «This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!»So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are ... Читать далее...
3. Two nuns were driving alone out in the booniesTwo nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline. «I’m sorry, sister,» said the attendant, «but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamber pot. ... Читать далее...
4. Show him your crossTwo nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield. «Quick, quick!» shouts Sister Mary Agnes, «What should ... Читать далее...
5. Soap dispenserTwo priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has some soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод идиомы show signs of something, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: show signs of something Перевод: показывать признаки, симптомы чего-либо Пример: The man showed no signs of life after he was involved in the accident. Мужчина не показывал признаков жизни после того, как попал в аварию....
7. Driving Through a Speed TrapAngel: Why are you driving At a snail’s pace? Georgina: This is an Infamous speed trap. I don’t want to get a Ticket – again. Angel: I don’t see any Squad cars along the road. Are you sure this is the right Stretch of road? Georgina: I’m sure. Those Cops are Crafty. They Hide out ... Читать далее...
8. Cop wants an excuseA man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks «I can outrun this guy,» so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway — ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы speed trap[speed trap] {n.} A place where police hide and wait to catchdrivers who are going even a little faster than the speed limit. Mr. Jones was caught in a speed trap....
10. Confuse Santa Claus1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask ... Читать далее...
11. Two nuns are walking down an alleyTwo nuns are walking down an alley when two guys jump out of the dark. They start raping the nuns and the first nun says, «Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do!» The second one says, «This one does!»...
12. Deaf lady in troubleOne day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his ... Читать далее...
13. The seven dwarves were in RomeThe three dwarves were in rome and went to the nearest nunnery. They got to talk to the mother superior. «Excuse us, but can you tell us where the dwarf nuns are?» «Sorry», she replies, «but there are no dwarf nuns here». «Well, are there any in the city?». «No, there are no dwarf nuns». ... Читать далее...
14. Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie manTwo nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 cucumbers. The guy advises: «Sisters, if you buy 3 crates, that’s 150, you’ll get a 25% discount!» The nuns look at each other, and after a prolonged period of thinking one whispers to the other: «We could eat the 30, ... Читать далее...
15. An old sailing ship is becalmed at seaAn old sailing ship is becalmed at sea with a full complement of sailors. They are stuck there for days and days with nothing to do. One morning the captain decides he is going to lay on some entertainment for the men. He orders a barrel to be placed on the top deck. It has ... Читать далее...
16. This guy unexpectedly got the day off and decidedThis guy unexpectedly got the day off and decided he would spend it on the golf course. After arriving at the club house, he was told that the only way he could play today was if he was willing to play along with three nuns. He agreed and set off with the nuns in tow. ... Читать далее...
17. Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy HospitalMr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. «Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,» said the nun, gently patting ... Читать далее...
18. Nuns First Hot DogNuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, «I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.» «Odd,» her companion replies, «but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.» Nodding emphatically, the ... Читать далее...
19. The answer to the eternal questionA man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when ... Читать далее...
20. Charged for speedingA man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away ... Читать далее...
21. Showing Signs of AgeJulian: What is that, another Gray hair?! My hair is already Thinning on top. I don’t need more gray hairs. Vera: I think Salt and pepper hair looks great on men. It makes them look Distinguished. Julian: It makes them look old. Thank God I don’t have a Receding hairline – yet. Vera: When you ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы snap one’s fingers at[snap one’s fingers at] {v. phr.} To show contempt for; show norespect for; pay no attention to; scorn; disregard. John snappedhis fingers at the sign that said «Do not enter,» and he went in thedoor. The highway sign said «Speed limit, 35 miles per hour,» butwhen a driver snapped his fingers at it by going ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова slowSlow — медленный, неторопливый; туповатый, отсталый Перевод слова Slow speed — тихий ход slow train — почтовый поезд he is slow to make up his mind — он не скор на решения slow child — отсталый ребенок Play was very Slow. Игра шла очень медленно. Slow down, I need to catch my breath. Сбавь скорость, ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова limitLimit — предел, граница, лимит; ограничивать Перевод слова Age limit — возрастной предел to limit one’s desires — ограничивать свои желания limit of elasticity — предел упругости to exceed a limit — выходить за пределы, переступать границы That’s the Limit! Это переходит все границы!, Это уж слишком! Seating is Limited to 500. Количество мест ограничено ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова highwayHighway — шоссе, магистраль Перевод слова Highway engineer — дорожный инженер express highway — скоростная трасса limited-access highway — дорога с ограниченным проездом Cars whooshed along the Highway. Автомобили мчались вдоль шоссе. Тhe Highway was lined with signboards Шоссе было размечено дорожными знаками. The great sea on the west is the natural Highway of commerce. ... Читать далее...
26. Знаки зодиака/ Star SignsНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Star Signs Знаки зодиака Astrology is studying the Zodiac signs. Astrologer consider that the position of the Sun, Moon and planets in relation to the zodiac signs have influence on various events in the world. However, there are not any scientific evidence for this state. It is also ... Читать далее...
27. Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open marketThree nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day. They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that they were 4 for a dollar. The nuns said okay. The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when there were only three of them. A nun answered back, «Well, ... Читать далее...
28. A Snail buys a fast New CarA snail buys a fast new car. There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail ... Читать далее...
29. Дорожное движение, вождение автомобиля, лексика и слова по темеA driver – водитель A passenger — пассажир Highway patrol – дорожно-патрульная служба A traffic warden – инспектор ДПС a pedestrian – пешеход A driver’s license – водительские права A car insurance — автостраховка An alley – узкий переулок An avenue – авеню, проспект A boulevard — бульвар a bridge — мост a roundabout (a ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы look out for[look out for] {v. phr.} To watch out for; be on the alert. There were signs along the highway warning drivers to look out fordeer crossing....
31. Hope never diesA man driving outside of Baltimore, Maryland was southbound on Interstate 95 in the far right hand lane traveling at 55 mph, minding his own business. He noticed in his rear view mirror that a Maryland State Trooper was right behind him. A mile later nothing changed, except now he’s driving at 65 mph, the ... Читать далее...
32. Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinnerTwo nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner. They notice Rocky Mountain Oysters on the menu and wondered what that was. They ask the waiter who replies «Oh Sister, those are nuts.» She answers «Do you mean like the kind you crack with a rock?» «No. The kind you rock on a crack.»...
33. Radar Gun ErrorAn off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы sky is the limit[sky is the limit] There is no upper limit to something. «Buy methe fastest racehorse in Hong Kong,» Mr. Lee instructed his broker.»Spend whatever is necessary; the sky is the limit.»...
35. The Speed of Time by Age0-9 Extremely slow. Even a trip to the store with Mom seems like going to Albania — by covered wagon. Most common phrase: «Is it Christmas yet?» 10-19 Still slow. Scientific evidence seems to show that school clocks actually move backwards just before the bell rings. 20-29 Alternately fast and slow. Weekends seem shorter and ... Читать далее...
36. Now he’s in troubleA police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, «what’s the problem officer?» To which the policeman responded, «I stopped you for running that red light behind you.» Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and ... Читать далее...
37. Four nuns arrived at the gates of heavenFour nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the inspection. The first one says:»I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand.» St. Peter says:»You see the bowl of holy water, wash your hand and go in.» The second says:»I have to confess, I held mans penis in both hands.» ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы against time[against time] or [against the clock] {adv. phr.} 1. As a test of speed or time; in order to beat a speed record or time limit. John ran around the track against time, because there was no one else to race against. 2. As fast as possible; so as to do or finish something before ... Читать далее...
39. In case of emergencyA car breaks down along the expressway one day, so the driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the highway. He jumps out of the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in trench coats. The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start exposing themselves to the oncoming ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова confuseConfuse — смешивать, путать, смущать Перевод слова Confuse a pupil by difficult questions — смутить ученика трудными вопросами confuse an issue — внести путаницу в проблему confuse the leads — перепутать провод I always Confuse him with his brother. Я всегда путаю этого человека с его братом. These questions Confuse even the experts Эти вопросы ... Читать далее...