Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ Bill Clinton Statue Committee

Bill Clinton Statue Committee

1040 Waffle Street

Little Rock, Arkansas 72208

Dear Friend;

We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raising of $5,000,000.00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame in Washington, D. C.

This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was not wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.

We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest democrat of all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know where he was, and returned not knowing where he had been. And he did it all on borrowed money.

Over 3,000 years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, «Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land.» Nearly 3,000 years later Roosevelt said, «Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses and light up a camel — this is the promised land.»

Now, Bill Clinton is going to steal your shovels, kick your asses, raise the price of camels and mortgage the promised land. If you are one of the fortunate people who has anything left after paying taxes, we expect a very generous contribution to the worthwhile project.

Fraternally,

Bill Clinton Statue Committee

P. S. It is said that BIll Clinton is considering changing the Democratic Party emblem from a donkey to a condom, because it stands for inflation, halts productivity, covers up a bunch of pricks, and it gives a false sense of security.



Мини сочинение о рыбалке на английском.
Проект по английскому какое будет лето.

Related topics:

  1. Hillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and Bill Clinton are sittingHillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and Bill Clinton are sitting in a helicopter and Bill starts to think. He sits there for about 15 minutes and finally Hillary asks why he is looking so sad. He says, «I just was wondering what I could do for the poor countries.» «Well » says Chelsea, «you could throw ... Читать далее...
  2. Candidate Clinton vs President ClintonCandidate Bill Clinton: Cut taxes for middle class President Bill Clinton: Wants to raise them Candidate Bill Clinton: Vowed not to tamper with Social Security President Bill Clinton: Wants to tax more SS benefits Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed energy tax cuts President Bill Clinton: Wants energy tax increases Candidate Bill Clinton: Claimed he had the ... Читать далее...
  3. Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunchBill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, «Are you ready to order?» Clinton replies, «Yes, I’d like a quickie.» «A quickie?!?» the waitress replies. «Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don’t think that is ... Читать далее...
  4. Bill Clinton’s haircutBefore his infamous haircut on the tarmac, Clinton asked his stylist Christophe, «How long will this take, how much will it cost, and how good will this look?» Christophe replied just ten minutes, cost $20, and look marvelous. An hour and fifteen minutes later, Clinton looked into the mirror in horror and Christophe handed him ... Читать далее...
  5. Перевод слова committeeCommittee — комитет, комиссия Перевод слова Executive committee — исполнительный комитет steering committee — руководящий комитет political committee — политический комитет They formed themselves into a Committee. Они объединились в комитет. The bill has been referred back to Committee. Законопроект был возвращен комиссии. They set up a Committee. Они учредили комитет....
  6. Биография Билла Клинтона на английском языке. Biography of William Clinton / Bill ClintonDuring the administration of William Jefferson Clinton, the U. S. enjoyed more peace and economic well being than at any time in its history. He was the first Democratic president since Franklin D. Roosevelt to win a second term. He could point to the lowest unemployment rate in modern times, the lowest inflation in 30 ... Читать далее...
  7. Перевод слова statueStatue — статуя, изваяние, памятник Перевод слова To unveil a statue — торжественно открывать памятник to carve a statue — вырезать статую to cast a statue in bronze — отливать статую из бронзы The Statue was mounted on a marble base. Статуя была установлена на мраморном основании. He sat still as a Statue. Он сидел ... Читать далее...
  8. Clinton countryA guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go’s on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, «There’s a horses ass» A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary Clinton came on he said ... Читать далее...
  9. A new statue for the bedroomA woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. «Hurry!» she said, «Stand in the corner.» She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. «Don’t move until I tell you to.» she whispered. «Just pretend you’re a statue.» «What’s ... Читать далее...
  10. Clinton is in HeavenPresident Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. «Who goes there?» inquired St. Peter. «It’s me, Bill Clinton». «What bad things did you do on earth?» Clinton thought a bit and answered, «Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. And I lied, but I didn’t commit ... Читать далее...
  11. Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells himSaddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, «Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.» «What did it say on the banners?» Clinton asks. Saddam replies, «Allah is god, god is Allah.» Clinton says, «You know, Saddam, I ... Читать далее...
  12. Clinton died and was standing at hte Pearly GatesClinton died and was standing at hte Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. «Who goes there?» inquired St. Peter. «‘It’s me, Bill Clinton.» «And what do you want?» asked St. Peter. «Lemme in!» replied Clinton. «Soooo,» pondered Peter. «What bad things did you do on earth?» Clinton thought a bit and ... Читать далее...
  13. Clinton at the paradeThe May Day parade in Moscow is the largest, most important military parade of the year. For 1992’s parade, Yeltsin and Gorbachev invited Bill Clinton to come watch it with them. The parade commenced with a battalion of tanks, followed by a division of infantry, followed by armored personnel carriers and mobile artillery. They had ... Читать далее...
  14. President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball gamePresident Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton’s ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, «Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!». She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks ... Читать далее...
  15. Acronyms for ClintonClinton: (C)razed (L)ow-class (I)diot (N)ow (T)aking (O)ver (N)ation Clinton: (C)razy (L)iberal (I)ntent (O)n (N)eedlessly (T)rashing (O)ur (N)ation Clinton: (C)learly (L)oose (I)nternal (N)avigation (T)echniques (O)ccupy (N)ever-Neverland Clinton: (C)ompulsive (L)iar (I)s (N)ation’s (T)op (O)fficial (N)ow Clinton: (C)omplete (L)oser (I)n (N)ow (T)errorizing (O)ur (N)ation Hillary: (H)ighly (I)nexperienced (L)eft-liberal (A)cademic (R)ighteous (Y)uppies Gore: (G)ennifer’s (O)nly (R)emaining (E)nterprise Gore: (G)reatly ... Читать далее...
  16. One day there were these three boys walking downOne day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: ‘HELP! HELP!’ When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first boy how he could ever repay him. ... Читать далее...
  17. Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physicalHillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator of New York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: «How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on ... Читать далее...
  18. Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf gameBill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play. Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now? Bob: Darts? Bill: Nah. Bob: Shoot some pool? Bill: Nah. Bob: Cards? Bill: Nah. Hey, I’ve got an ... Читать далее...
  19. Перевод идиомы fill the bill / fit the bill, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: fill the bill / fit the bill Перевод: быть приемлемым, подходящим; быть тем, что надо; удовлетворять требованиям Пример: I think that the new equipment should fill the bill for us. Мне кажется, что новое оборудование должно быть как раз тем, что нам нужно....
  20. Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game ofBill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, «No, Mr. President! I said, Throw the first PITCH!»...
  21. Million-dollar bill user pleads ignorance, blames TreasuryA woman who tried to use a fake $1 million bill to buy $1,675 worth of merchandise at Wal-Mart said it was all just a misunderstanding — she thought the bill was real. The United States Treasury does not make $1 million bills. «You can’t keep up with the U. S. Treasury,» said Alice Pike, ... Читать далее...
  22. Hillary ClintonDuring the 1992 presidential campaign, Hillary Rodham Clinton observed, «Our lives are a mixture of different roles. Most of us are doing the best we can to find whatever the right balance is… For me, that balance is family, work, and service.» Hillary Diane Rodham, Dorothy and Hugh Rodham’s first child, was born on October ... Читать далее...
  23. One day Clinton goes to the bathroomOne day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor says, «I cant figure out what it is. So I’ll give you some medicine, and if it doesn’t work, ... Читать далее...
  24. Visiting a Construction SiteBill: Ma’am! ma’am! Estelle: Yes? Bill: Ma’am, you’re not supposed to be here. This is a Construction site and you’re not allowed. Please don’t step on that Scaffolding. It’s dangerous. Estelle: Oh, I just wanted a quick look to see how the building is Coming along. Look at all this Lumber and Brick. The Foundation ... Читать далее...
  25. Helping this countryOne night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked, «George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?» «Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,» advised George. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the ... Читать далее...
  26. Ghosts in a White HouseOne night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. «George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?» Clinton asked. «Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,» advised George. The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. «Tom, ... Читать далее...
  27. Clinton is vacationingLast summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary’s high school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way. ... Читать далее...
  28. Статуя Свободы/ The Statue of LibertyНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык THe Statue of Liberty Статуя Свободы The Statue of Liberty is one of the main sights of New York City and the symbol of freedom of all Americans. It’s the statue of a graceful woman with the flare in her hand, which enlightens the world. The structure of ... Читать далее...
  29. President Clinton, returning from a campaign stopPresident Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip — a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute. «I’d salute ... Читать далее...
  30. Here is a free puppyThe President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had. He goes up to the girl and says, «Little girl, I think that it’s wonderful that you’re doing such a good thing.» The little girl says, «Thank you, Mr. Clinton. ... Читать далее...
  31. THE LAND OF OZDan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest, when suddenly a tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they come down and pull themselves from the vehicle, they realize they’re in the land of OZ. Naturally, ... Читать далее...
  32. Перевод слова billBill — счет; законопроект Перевод слова Payable bills — счета, подлежащие оплате private bill — законопроект, имеющий местное значение hotel bill — счет за проживание в гостинице The Bill was carried. Законопроект был принят. The Bill runs to $100. Счет составляет 100 долларов. The Bill is in abeyance. Обсуждения этого законопроекта приостановлено. Примеры из жизни ... Читать далее...
  33. Значение идиомы fill the bill[fill the bill] {v. phr.}, {informal} To be just what is needed; begood enough for something; be just right. The boss was worriedabout hiring a deaf boy, but after he tried Tom out for a few weeks, he said that Tom filled the bill. I thought I would need a specialtool, but this wrench fills ... Читать далее...
  34. Значение идиомы pad the bill[pad the bill] {v. phr.} To add false expenses to a bill; make abill larger than it really was. The salesman padded the bill forhis traveling expenses by exaggerating his food expenses....
  35. Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinnerSome time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff ... Читать далее...
  36. Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationshipProsecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? … Ain’t nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I’ve ever had....
  37. In light of the latest allegations against President ClintonIn light of the latest allegations against President Clinton, Woodward and Bernstein of Watergate fame are in negotiations with publishers to write a new book about the scandal. Working title: «All the President’s Women.»...
  38. Fake two dollar billOn my way home from the second job I’ve taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a ... Читать далее...
  39. Statue of Liberty — Статуя СвободыThe Statue of Liberty National Monument officially celebrated her 100th birthday on October 28,1986. The people of France gave the Statue to the people of the United States one hundred and seventeen years ago in recognition of the friendship established during the American Revolution. Over the years, the Statue of Liberty has grown to include ... Читать далее...
  40. Значение идиомы foot the bill[foot the bill] {v. phr.} To cover the expenses of; pay forsomething. The bride’s father footed two-thirds of the bill for hixdaughter’s wedding. Compare: PICK UP THE TAB....

Bill Clinton Statue Committee