Beware of drunken bears

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1. Appear on televisionThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Wednesday, October 21, 1992 In July, Danny Fouts and his wife and her sister, in New York City to appear on the «Sally Jessy Raphael» show to discuss their arrest for shoplifting ... Читать далее...
2. Find out about the catThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides. During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in ... Читать далее...
3. Problems during flightThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight ... Читать далее...
4. Set up hidden camerasThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. December 18, 1992 Michael J. Schmidt, 29, set up a hidden video camera at his home near Superior, Wis., because he had been burglarized several times and thought he could catch the ... Читать далее...
5. This dog loves peopleThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A normally sweet Great Dane Psil has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers. While walk Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man. Struggling to ... Читать далее...
6. Choking a girlfriendThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Sunday, November 29, 1992 The Ontario Press Council dismissed a complaint filed by Allan Sorensen against the Toronto Sun, which had reported that Sorenson had choked his ex-girlfriend. Sorensen’s complaint was that ... Читать далее...
7. Insulting to womenThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Bangkok, Thailand A member of the ruling junta who oversees Thai Airways International has ordered the carrier to hire more-attractive stewardesses. «We have received a lot of complaints that our air hostesses ... Читать далее...
8. Annoying phone callsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking ... Читать далее...
9. Ordering fast foodThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. One night, a few co-workers at the computer data centre where I work stayed late and we all started to get hungry. We decided to order in food by phone, but our ... Читать далее...
10. Bull free in TokoyoThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Tokyo, Japan: A bull bound for slaughter gave its handlers the slip Wednesday and escaped into Tokyo’s teeming streets. The 1,300-pound bull, shipped in from southern Japan, thundered down the gangplank as ... Читать далее...
11. Newspaper typing errorThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The following appeared on the back page of one of Australia’s more outrageous computer publications, «Computing Australia», 21st Sept 1987: … Blame it on the computer. An unfriendly computer has been held ... Читать далее...
12. Drinking and drivingThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The «Environmental Engineering News» published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries. In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, ... Читать далее...
13. Strange headline newsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A bird dropped a snake over a California power station, short-circuiting a line and causing a two-hour blackout. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
14. Phone keeps ringingThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Phone Won’t Stop Ringing? Here’s What You Do Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова storyStory — рассказ, повесть, сюжет Перевод слова Short story — рассказ, новелла funny story — анекдот the main thing in a novel is the story — самое главное в романе — это сюжет His Story rings true. Его рассказ звучит правдоподобно. He told us the Story. Он рассказал нам эту историю. I accredited his Story. ... Читать далее...
16. Marines and the policeThe following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles. The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to «cover» him as he approched the store (to police, «cover» means to point your weapons ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова funnyFunny — забавный, смешной, странный Перевод слова Funny story — анекдот, смешная история extremely funny — чрезвычайно смешной, уморительный funny face — забавный вид That’s one Funny boy. Он очень забавный. What’s that Funny smell? Что за странный запах? I see this as diabolically Funny. По-моему, это ужасно смешно....
18. Перевод слова surprisingSurprising — удивительный, неожиданный Перевод слова Rather surprising result — довольно неожиданный результат this is scarcely surprising — этому едва ли можно удивляться the surprising thing is that — удивительно, что That news is hardly Surprising. Вряд ли это неожиданная новость. The austerity of their lifestyle was Surprising. Аскетизм их образа жизни был поразительным. With ... Читать далее...
19. Two blondes were walking through the woodsTwo blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said «These look like deer tracks.» The other said, «No, they look like moose tracks.» They argued and argued and were still arguing when the train hit them....
20. Beware of dog!Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, «Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?» «Yep, that’s him,» ... Читать далее...
21. Beware of IRSThe local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000.00 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы the tracks[the tracks] {n.} The line between the rich or fashionable part oftown and the poor or unfashionable part of town. The poor childrenknew they would not be welcome on the other side of the tracks. Mary’s mother did not want her to date Jack, because he came fromacross the tracks. — Often used in the ... Читать далее...
23. A drunken blonde goes into a barA drunken blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, «Gimme a beer.» The bartender then asks, «Anheuser-Busch?» To which she replies, «Fine thanks, and how’s your cock?»...
24. Daddy is going to warThe following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred during the war. During the Persian Gulf War, I was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia. As I was saying good-bye to my family, my three-year-old son, Christopher, was holding on to my leg and pleading with me not to leave. «No, ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы cover one’s tracks[cover one’s tracks] or [cover up one’s tracks] {v. phr.} 1. To hide and not leave anything, especially foot marks, to show where you have been, so that no one can follow you. The deer covered his tracks by running in a stream. 2. {informal} To hide or not say where you have been or ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод слова strangeStrange — незнакомый, странный, необычный Перевод слова Strange malady — странная болезнь in strange lands — в чужих краях strange tongue — незнакомый язык He had a Strange way of talking. У него была странная манера говорить. She behaved in a Strange fashion. Она вела себя очень странно. I don’t like Strange people coming into ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова cornCorn — зерно, зернышко, кукуруза Перевод слова Corn bread — хлеб из кукурузы, маисовый хлеб corn chowder — похлебка из злаков corn of salt — крупинка соли Corn doesn’t grow here. Кукуруза здесь не растет. All our chickens are fed on Corn. Всех наших кур кормят кукурузой. The Corn is ground into meal. Зерно перемалывается ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы in one’s tracks[in one’s tracks] {adv. phr.}, {informal} 1. Just where one is atthe moment; abruptly; immediately. The hunter’s rifle cracked andthe rabbit dropped in his tracks. Mary stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and ran back home. Syn.: ON THE SPOT, THEN ANDTHERE. 2. See: FOLLOW IN ONE’S FOOTSTEPS....
29. Значение идиомы track[track] See: COVER ONE’S TRACKS, IN ONE’S TRACKS, INSIDE TRACK, JUMP THE TRACK, KEEP TRACK, LOSE TRACK, MAKE TRACKS, OFF THE BEATENTRACK, ON THE TRACK OF, THE TRACKS....
30. A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condomA man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there’s no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it’s a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы make tracks[make tracks] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go fast; get a speedy start;hurry. Man, it’s time we made tracks! The boys made tracks forhome when it began to get dark. Compare: GET GOING, MAKE HASTE....
32. Перевод слова OctoberOctober — Октябрь Перевод слова In October — в октябре October days — октябрьские дни from mid September to mid October — с середины сентября до середины октября the tenth of October — десятое октября It was as chilly as if it had been October. Было прохладно, как будто на дворе октябрь. He was foully ... Читать далее...
33. Man Comes To Realize His Puppies Aren’t Puppies After AllA farmer in China bought two «good-looking pups» from a man who said they’d make good watch dogs. For two years he raised the little black puppies, grooming their coarse hair and feeding them ample quantities of food. Their appetites were huge and getting larger by the day… One weird thing about the dogs was ... Читать далее...
34. Alaskan tourismIf you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service announcement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country. The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc.), but be careful because they don’t scare Grizzly Bears. Tourists are cautioned to ... Читать далее...
35. Tour near glaciersThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions. Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking ... Читать далее...
36. Talking on a planeThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight. As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. «Coming up on the right, you can ... Читать далее...
37. Fake two dollar billOn my way home from the second job I’ve taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a ... Читать далее...
38. Battles on the seaThe following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company. THE U. S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain’s saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel’s business and entertaining would take ... Читать далее...
39. Please show the I. DThe following supposedly a true story. This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы corn belt[corn belt] {n.} 1. The Midwest; the agricultural section of the United States where much corn is grown. Kansas is one of the slates that lies within the corn belt....