Beware of drunken bears

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1. Two blondes were walking through the woods Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said “These look like deer tracks.” The other said, “No, they look like moose tracks.” They argued and argued and were still arguing when the train hit them....
2. Talking on a plane The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight. As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. “Coming up on the right, you can […]...
3. Man Comes To Realize His Puppies Aren’t Puppies After All A farmer in China bought two “good-looking pups” from a man who said they’d make good watch dogs. For two years he raised the little black puppies, grooming their coarse hair and feeding them ample quantities of food. Their appetites were huge and getting larger by the day… One weird thing about the dogs was […]...
4. Значение идиомы the tracks [the tracks] {n.} The line between the rich or fashionable part oftown and the poor or unfashionable part of town. The poor childrenknew they would not be welcome on the other side of the tracks. Mary’s mother did not want her to date Jack, because he came fromacross the tracks. – Often used in the […]...
5. A drunken blonde goes into a bar A drunken blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, “Gimme a beer.” The bartender then asks, “Anheuser-Busch?” To which she replies, “Fine thanks, and how’s your cock?”...
6. A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this whistle – Whooee da Whoee! – but doesn’t know what it is. Predictably, he’s […]...
7. Значение идиомы cover one’s tracks [cover one’s tracks] or [cover up one’s tracks] {v. phr.} 1. To hide and not leave anything, especially foot marks, to show where you have been, so that no one can follow you. The deer covered his tracks by running in a stream. 2. {informal} To hide or not say where you have been or […]...
8. Значение идиомы in one’s tracks [in one’s tracks] {adv. phr.}, {informal} 1. Just where one is atthe moment; abruptly; immediately. The hunter’s rifle cracked andthe rabbit dropped in his tracks. Mary stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and ran back home. Syn.: ON THE SPOT, THEN ANDTHERE. 2. See: FOLLOW IN ONE’S FOOTSTEPS....
9. Перевод слова corn Corn – зерно, зернышко, кукуруза Перевод слова Corn bread – хлеб из кукурузы, маисовый хлеб corn chowder – похлебка из злаков corn of salt – крупинка соли Corn doesn’t grow here. Кукуруза здесь не растет. All our chickens are fed on Corn. Всех наших кур кормят кукурузой. The Corn is ground into meal. Зерно перемалывается […]...
10. Beware of dog! Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep, that’s him,” […]...
11. Beware of IRS The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000.00 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the […]...
12. Lilly – The Hero Pit Bull That Saved Her Owner From An Oncoming Freight Train A dog’s loyalty to humans is truly unique and quite often awe inspiring. Take this story of an incident that took place back in 2012. A Pit Bull named Lilly risked her life to pull her unconscious owner from the path of an oncoming freight train. Lilly saved her owner, Christine Spain from certain death. […]...
13. Значение идиомы track [track] See: COVER ONE’S TRACKS, IN ONE’S TRACKS, INSIDE TRACK, JUMP THE TRACK, KEEP TRACK, LOSE TRACK, MAKE TRACKS, OFF THE BEATENTRACK, ON THE TRACK OF, THE TRACKS....
14. Find out about the cat The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides. During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in […]...
15. Перевод слова story Story – рассказ, повесть, сюжет Перевод слова Short story – рассказ, новелла funny story – анекдот the main thing in a novel is the story – самое главное в романе – это сюжет His Story rings true. Его рассказ звучит правдоподобно. He told us the Story. Он рассказал нам эту историю. I accredited his Story. […]...
16. Problems during flight The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight […]...
17. Перевод слова ton Ton – тонна; масса, множество Перевод слова Ton weight – масса в тоннах tons of people – масса народу tons of time – уйма времени tons of equipment – тонны снаряжения ton-mile cost – стоимость тонно-мили Did you kill many pirates? – Tons. Вы убили много пиратов? – Кучу. This suitcase weighs a Ton. Этот […]...
18. Значение идиомы make tracks [make tracks] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go fast; get a speedy start;hurry. Man, it’s time we made tracks! The boys made tracks forhome when it began to get dark. Compare: GET GOING, MAKE HASTE....
19. This dog loves people The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A normally sweet Great Dane Psil has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers. While walk Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man. Struggling to […]...
20. Alaskan tourism If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service announcement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country. The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc.), but be careful because they don’t scare Grizzly Bears. Tourists are cautioned to […]...
21. Choking a girlfriend The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Sunday, November 29, 1992 The Ontario Press Council dismissed a complaint filed by Allan Sorensen against the Toronto Sun, which had reported that Sorenson had choked his ex-girlfriend. Sorensen’s complaint was that […]...
22. Appear on television The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Wednesday, October 21, 1992 In July, Danny Fouts and his wife and her sister, in New York City to appear on the “Sally Jessy Raphael” show to discuss their arrest for shoplifting […]...
23. Set up hidden cameras The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. December 18, 1992 Michael J. Schmidt, 29, set up a hidden video camera at his home near Superior, Wis., because he had been burglarized several times and thought he could catch the […]...
24. Insulting to women The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Bangkok, Thailand A member of the ruling junta who oversees Thai Airways International has ordered the carrier to hire more-attractive stewardesses. “We have received a lot of complaints that our air hostesses […]...
25. Ordering fast food The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. One night, a few co-workers at the computer data centre where I work stayed late and we all started to get hungry. We decided to order in food by phone, but our […]...
26. Annoying phone calls The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking […]...
27. Значение идиомы corn belt [corn belt] {n.} 1. The Midwest; the agricultural section of the United States where much corn is grown. Kansas is one of the slates that lies within the corn belt....
28. Age difference What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her […]...
29. Перевод слова true True – верно, правильный, правдивый, истина Перевод слова True story – правдивая история true friend – верный друг out of true – плохо установленный; неточный Can it be True? Неужели это правда? I affirm that it is True. Я подтверждаю, что это правда. “It will be difficult.”This is True.” – Это будет трудно. – Это […]...
30. Learning to Ride the Subway Donny: Come on, we need to buy our Subway tickets at that Ticket machine. Cayla: Why can’t we just get them at the Ticket window? I’m not sure what the Fare is. Donny: There’s a long line and we need to catch a Train right now. Cayla: I’ve never taken the subway before. I don’t […]...
31. Значение идиомы ring true [ring true] {v. phr.} To have a tone of genuineness; soundconvincing. I believed his sob story about how he lost his fortune, because somehow it all rang true....
32. Перевод слова train Train – поезд, состав; воспитывать, учить Перевод слова Fast train – скорый поезд express train – экспресс to train a child – воспитывать ребенка to train as a typist – учиться на машинистку Is this dog Trained? Эта собака дрессирована? I saw the in Train. Я увидел прибывающий поезд. She missed her Train. Она опоздала […]...
33. Перевод слова northern Northern – северный, арктический Перевод слова Northern lights – северное сияние a northern hardship bonus – северный коэффициент northern celestial hemisphere – северная небесная полусфера Northern Hemisphere – Северное полушарие The smelt inhabits the seas of the Northern parts of Europe. Корюшка водится в морях северной части Европы. The poet’s home was in a Northern […]...
34. Пословица / поговорка let the buyer beware – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: let the buyer beware Перевод: покупатель должен быть внимателен (происходит из латинского “caveat emptor”) Пример: The idea to let the buyer beware is important when you buy something. Когда покупаешь что-либо, нужно помнить, что покупатель должен быть внимателен....
35. Newspaper typing error The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The following appeared on the back page of one of Australia’s more outrageous computer publications, “Computing Australia”, 21st Sept 1987: … Blame it on the computer. An unfriendly computer has been held […]...
36. Bull free in Tokoyo The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Tokyo, Japan: A bull bound for slaughter gave its handlers the slip Wednesday and escaped into Tokyo’s teeming streets. The 1,300-pound bull, shipped in from southern Japan, thundered down the gangplank as […]...
37. Perot corn Two farmers were talking at the general store. One farmer says to the other, “Did you hear about that new variety of corn called Perot corn?” The second farmer replies,”No I ain’t.” The first farmer says, “Yeah, it’s a big yielding variety. The stalk don’t grow too big, but the ears are tremendous!”...
38. Great School Humor “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx 1890-1977 – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
39. Перевод идиомы make a long story short, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: make a long story short Перевод: короче говоря; укоротить историю, рассказ, опустив некоторые детали Пример: I had to make a long story short in order to finish my story and leave to catch my train home. Мне пришлось опустить некоторые детали своего рассказа, чтобы закончить его и успеть на свой поезд....
40. Перевод сленгового выражения wrong side of the tracks, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: wrong side of the tracks Перевод: бедный, неблагоприятный район города Синоним: slum Пример: Chris came from the wrong side of the tracks, but eventually he became a millionaire. Крис родом из неблагоприятного района, но, в конце концов, он стал миллионером....