Balls

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1. Значение идиомы base on balls[base on balls] {n.} First base given to a baseball batter who is pitched four balls outside of the strike zone. He was a good judge of pitchers and often received bases on balls....
2. Buying some golf ballsA blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro askes her what she wants. «I can’t find any green golf balls,» the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are ... Читать далее...
3. Значение идиомы have someone by the balls[have someone by the balls] {v. phr.}, {slang}, {vulgar},{avoidable} To have someone at a disadvantage or in one’s power. The kidnappers had the company by the balls for six long weeks....
4. Значение идиомы break one’s balls[break one’s balls] {v. phr.}, {slang}, {vulgar}, {avoidable} To do something with maximum effort; to do something very difficult or taxing. I’ve been breaking my balls to buy you this new color TV set and you aren’t the least bit appreciative! Compare: BREAK ONE’S NECK....
5. IBM Memo about Peripheral ReplacementIBM Memo about Peripheral Replacement This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us may find it rather funny. Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) Mouse balls are now available as FRU. ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы ball[ball] See: BASE ON BALLS, CARRY THE BALL, FLY BALL, FOUL BALL, GET THE BALL ROLLING, SET THE BALL ROLLING, START THE BALL ROLLING, GOPHER BALL, GROUND BALL, HAVE A HALL, HAVE SOMETHING ON THE BALL, JUMP BALL, KEEP THE BALL ROLLING, LONG BALL, ON THE BALL, PASSED BALL, PLAYBALL....
7. It finally dawned«How did it happen?» the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg. «Well, doc, 25 years ago…» «Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.» «Like I was saying…25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I’d gone ... Читать далее...
8. Broken leg«How did it happen?» the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg. «Well, doc, 25 years ago…» «Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.» «Like I was saying… 25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I’d ... Читать далее...
9. A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleagueA prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She’s worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I’m worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well she’s 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been ... Читать далее...
10. A young couple gets married, and the groomA young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000. She confronts ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова ballBall — мяч, шар; бал Перевод слова To catch a ball — поймать мяч ball lightning — шаровая молния meat balls — фрикадельки He killed the Ball. Он срезал мяч. She rolled the Ball. Она выкатила мяч. The Ball fell short. Мяч не долетел. Интересные факты ‘Ball’ является частью множества составных слов, означающих игры с ... Читать далее...
12. A blonde with two red ears went to her doctorA blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, «I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang — but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.» «Oh Dear!» the ... Читать далее...
13. One doc operated on a person for a herniaOne doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis and took the balls out and kept it on the table. At the end of the operation he wanted to put his balls back into the pouch of testis. He searched operation theatre but could not find the balls of the patient. ... Читать далее...
14. A man went to the doctor for a check upA man went to the doctor for a check up. «How do you feel?» asked the doctor. «Fine.» he replied. After a few more general health questions the doctor asked, «How many times do you have sex per month?» «About two or three.» the man replied. «You should be doing better than that.» the doctor ... Читать далее...
15. Best kind of sexA man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely active sex life. He said He had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated, and had wet dreams all the time. The doctor asked which he liked best. He Replied, » Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of people in them.»...
16. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problemA young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front ... Читать далее...
17. A woman visits her physicianA woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it’s finally her turn. She enters the doctors’ office and sits down. The PhD asks her: «Well, what can I do for you madam?». The patient blushes and the PhD sees that apparently she is embarrassed so he says: «You can discuss any matter with ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова woodenWooden — деревянный; безжизненный Перевод слова Wooden fence — деревянная изгородь, частокол wooden smile — деревянная улыбка wooden stare — неподвижный взгляд She bought a small Wooden carving of a Buddha. Она купила небольшую деревянную статуэтку Будды. Bobby had perched himself on a tall Wooden stool. Бобби уже уселся на высокий деревянный табурет. She is ... Читать далее...
19. Eat oystersA lady went running to a doctor with a badly spoiled stomach. «What did you eat for dinner last night?» asked the doctor. «Oysters,» she said. «Fresh oysters?» asked the doctor. «How should I know?» said the lady «Well,» asked the doctor, «couldn’t you tell when you took off the shells?» «My Gosh,» gasped the ... Читать далее...
20. The meaning of lifeA man asked his doctor if he thought he’d live to be a hundred. The doctor asked the man, «Do you smoke or drink?» «No,» he replied, «I’ve never done either.» «Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?» inquired the doctor. «No, I’ve never done any of those things either.» «Well ... Читать далее...
21. The general went to the doctor for a physicalThe general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor asked him the standard questions — age, height, weight, and then he asked when was the last time the general had sex. ‘Oh,’ he mused, ‘It was 1945.’ ‘Isn’t that a long time to go without sex?’ the doctor asked. ‘I ... Читать далее...
22. Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming weddingTwo Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding… «I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.» His buddy replies, «Oh, there’s an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, ... Читать далее...
23. A mute was walking down the street one dayA mute was walking down the street one day and chanced upon a friend of his, also a mute. In sign language, he inquired how his friend had been doing. The friend replied (vocally!) «Oh, can that hand-waving shit. I can talk now.» Intrigued, the mute pressed him for details. Seems he had gone to ... Читать далее...
24. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors officeA couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, «What can I do for you?» The man said, «Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?» The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, «There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.» And he then charged ... Читать далее...
25. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologistA beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, «Do you know what I’m doing?» «Yes,» she replied, ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод слова ironIron — железо; сила, твердость; утюжить, гладить Перевод слова Muscles of iron — стальные мускулы to rule with a rod of iron — править железной рукой the iron years of war — суровые годы войны to convert iron into steel — обращать железо в сталь the shirt is already ironed — рубашка уже выглажена Have ... Читать далее...
27. Two ears burnedA guy burned two ears… so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened. He said, «I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang… so instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear…» «But how the heck did you burn the other ear?» The doctor asked. «How ... Читать далее...
28. A serious conditionA well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. «We need a fourth for poker,» said ... Читать далее...
29. Working as a Street PerformerGiancarlo: Whoa, where are you going? I thought we were going To hang out. Alana: I’m going to work. Giancarlo: Work? I didn’t know you got a job. Alana: I’m Busking on Main Street. Giancarlo: You mean you’re Panhandling? That’s not working. Alana: I’m not panhandling. I’m working for Tips. I perform, try To draw ... Читать далее...
30. A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors officeA woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, «If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die». 1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. 2.At lunch time, make him a warm, ... Читать далее...
31. Just in case«Mr. Chilton,» the analyst said, «I think this will be your last visit.» «Does that mean I’m cured?» he asked. «For all practical purposes, yes,» she said. «I think we can safely say that your kleptomania is now under control. You haven’t stolen anything in two years, and you seem to know where the kleptomania ... Читать далее...
32. Definite laws of golfLAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime. LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed ... Читать далее...
33. Crazy people talkA doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient ... Читать далее...
34. A man comes to a doctor andA man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, «Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?» «Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!» announces a proud physician, «They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You ... Читать далее...
35. A man enters a barber shop for a shaveA man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. «I have just the thing,» says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. «Just place this between your cheek and gum.» The ... Читать далее...
36. An Other oneThree old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’ Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’ A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s ... Читать далее...
37. Scared sleepingShakey went to a psychiatrist. «Doc,» he said, «I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. «you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!» «Just put yourself in my hands for two ... Читать далее...
38. A golfer hit his drive on the first holeA golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back ... Читать далее...
39. A dubious remedyA man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, «When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.» That same day the man went to the store ... Читать далее...
40. An elderly patient needed a heart transplantAn elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, «We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd ... Читать далее...