After years of psychotherapy

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1. Перевод идиомы up in years / advanced in years / along in years / on in years, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: up in years / advanced in years / along in years / on in years Перевод: старый, пожилой Пример: Although our grandparents are up in years they still have much energy. Хоть наши дедушка и бабушка уже пожилые, они все еще полны энергии....
2. A young boy, about eight years old, was at the cornerA young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner «Mom & Pop» grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. «Oh, no laundry,» the boy said, «I’m going to ... Читать далее...
3. Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty yearsEd and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. «So, how’s life been for you?» Ed asked. «Not too good,» Ted replied. «My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son’s in prison for ... Читать далее...
4. Want some chicken?A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken ... Читать далее...
5. For many years, the border between Poland and RussiaFor many years, the border between Poland and Russia was volatile. Due to a political shift, a farmer found that he was no longer a Russian, but had become a Pole. Thrilled, he told his Wife, «Thank God! No more of those freezing Russian winters.»...
6. Two Scotsmen met 25 years after their last get-togetherTwo Scotsmen met 25 years after their last get-together. They hugged and slapped each others back and tears formed in their eyes as they renewed their old friendship. «Let’s have a drink like we did in the old days,» the first Scot winked at his mate. «Aye,» his mate replied. «And don’t forget it’s your ... Читать далее...
7. Humor about Ireland 2Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. «Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.» «Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’?» asked the other. «Ah, he’s gotten so thin. You’re thin enough, and I’m thin — but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is ... Читать далее...
8. Bad Bernie was in prison for seven yearsBad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, «F. F.» His wife turned to him and answered, «E. F.» Out on the highway, he ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова grainGrain — зерно, крупица Перевод слова The advanced price of grain — увеличенная цена на зерновые to grow grain — выращивать зерно grains of gold — крупинки золота not a grain of truth — ни крупицы истины Grain is shipped by water. Зерно перевозят водным транспортом. The Grain had spilled onto the road. Зерно просыпалось ... Читать далее...
10. Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one askedDown in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, «Do you ever get to feeling horny?» «Yes,» her friend replied. «What do you do about it?» «I usually suck on a Lifesaver.» After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, «Well, what beach do you go to?»...
11. Значение идиомы against the grain[against the grain] {adv. phr.} 1. Across rather than with the direction of the fibers. He sandpapered the wood against the grain. 2. So as to annoy or trouble, or to cause anger or dislike. — Usually follows «go». His coarse and rude ways went against the grain with me. It went against the grain ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова wheatWheat — пшеница Перевод слова Wheat bread — хлеб, сделанный из пшеничной муки wheat field — пшеничное поле wheat germ — пшеничный зародыш to grow wheat — выращивать пшеницу They are now long on Wheat. Сейчас они играют на повышение цен на пшеницу. The tares overgrew the Wheat. Пшеница заросла сорняками. I must twitch and ... Читать далее...
13. Little MermaidThree fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?» She replied, «no sir!» So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, «Did you like that?» «Oh, indeed I did, ... Читать далее...
14. Course of actionOne Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the water cooler at the office. «Veronica, I just don’t know what to do,» Gloria said to her friend at work. «That good-looking Alex in accounting asked me out on a date for Saturday night. Should I go?» «Oh, my God!» her friend exclaimed. «He’ll wine you, ... Читать далее...
15. Not raising hogsMy friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wellsburg, Iowa, received a check for $1,000.00 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want to go into the «not raising hogs» business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on and ... Читать далее...
16. Ne day, this man, Tony, diedOne day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could ... Читать далее...
17. Trust thy friendThe sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge. «Was it my friend Sam», he demanded. «No!» his weeping wife replied. «Was it my friend Jim then?» he asked. «NO!!!» she said ... Читать далее...
18. A company in the Foreign Legion had spent three yearsA company in the Foreign Legion had spent three years in the Sahara desert never having seen a woman. They finally decide to send one private on vacation to the nearest town to spend some time with a woman and tell them all about it. After a week the private comes back all happy and ... Читать далее...
19. A couple married forty years were revisiting theA couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman said, «Sweetheart, let’s do the same thing we did here forty years ago.» The guy stopped the car. His ... Читать далее...
20. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy manA lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, «There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.» «No problem,» ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы along in years[along in years] or [on in years] {adj. phr.} Elderly; growing old. As Grandfather got on in years, he became quiet and thoughtful. Our dog isn’t very playful because it is getting on in years....
22. What kind of a woman«Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?» asked John «Yes, I will.» Paula replied. «Would you do it for one thousand?» he asked. «Well maybe, or maybe I’d do something else for you.» she answered with a wink. «How about a blowjob for $20?» responded John. «Hey! What kind of women do you ... Читать далее...
23. Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up andCharlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he went to see him. ... Читать далее...
24. Criminal steals lumberA man with a nagging secret couldn’t keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. «What did you take?» his priest asked. «Enough to build my own house and enough for my son’s house. And houses for our two ... Читать далее...
25. A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’reA couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, «What’s the matter?» He says, «Thirty years ago I couldn’t wait to eat it. Now it ... Читать далее...
26. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadowA horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s ... Читать далее...
27. Forty years later, they’re in the same hotel roomForty years later, they’re in the same hotel room they spent their honeymoon in. She takes off her clothes, lies down on the bed, spreads her legs… Her husband looks at her and he begins to weep uncontrollably. She says, «What’s the matter?» He says, «Forty years ago, I couldn’t wait to eat it, and ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы a friend in need is a friend indeed[a friend in need is a friend indeed] A genuine friend on whom one can always depend. — A proverb; often shortened to «a friend in need…» When John’s house burned down, his neighbor Jim helped him and his family with shelter, food and clothing. John said, «Jim, a friend in need is a friend ... Читать далее...
29. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversaryA man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, «When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?» The husband replied, «All I wanted to do ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова chickenChicken — курица, курятина Перевод слова Casseroled chicken — запеченный цыпленок chicken manure — куриный помет chicken coop — курятник Don’t be such a Chicken! Не будь таким трусом! We cooked a whole Chicken. Мы варили курицу целиком. We barbecued Chicken and ribs. Мы жарили на гриле курицу и ребра....
31. They are stopped by the policeJohn & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, «I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.» Just ... Читать далее...
32. An extremely loyal fanThere was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself «what a waste» he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, «Is ... Читать далее...
33. The Big ScareLee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason for his haste he shivered and replied: «I’m afraid that if I should ever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try to repossess me.»...
34. Значение идиомы chicken feed[chicken feed] {n.}, {slang} A very small sum of money. John and Bill worked very hard, but they were only paid chicken feed. Mr. Jones is so rich be thinks a thousand dollars is chicken feed....
35. World’s oldest man, a Holocaust survivor in Israel, to celebrate bar mitzvah 100 years lateJERUSALEM (JTA) — The world’s oldest man, 113-year-old Yisrael Kristal, a Holocaust survivor living in Israel, will celebrate his bar mitzvah. Kristal’s daughter, Shulimath Kristal Kuperstoch, told the DPA news agency that about 100 family members will gather in Kristal’s home city of Haifa in the coming weeks to mark the rite. «We will bless ... Читать далее...
36. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have childrenAfter a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. «Don’t worry,» he said, «Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.» So he went home feeling ... Читать далее...
37. It finally dawned«How did it happen?» the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg. «Well, doc, 25 years ago…» «Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.» «Like I was saying…25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I’d gone ... Читать далее...
38. I have a questionA father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, «How does this boat float? The father replied, «Don’t rightly know son.» A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, «How do fish ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы no spring chicken[no spring chicken] {n. phr.} A person who is no longer young. Even though she is no spring chicken anymore, men still turn theirheads to look at her....
40. Jokes about Ireland 2Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. «What’s wrong, Seamus?» Joey-Jim asked. «Well didn’t ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?» said Seamus. «Ah, praise the Almighty!» he replied with relief. «I thought I’d ... Читать далее...