A suitable transplant

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1. An elderly patient needed a heart transplantAn elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, «We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова suitableSuitable — подходящий Перевод слова Suitable date — подходящий день clothe thoughts in suitable language — облекать мысли в соответствующую форму suitable clothes for cold weather — подходящая одежда для холодной погоды Would it be Suitable to discuss this matter at lunch? А удобно будет обсудить этот вопрос за обедом? The most Suitable season for ... Читать далее...
3. Значение идиомы stone[stone] See: CAST THE FIRST STONE, HAVE A HEART OF STONE, KILL TWOBIRDS WITH ONE STONE, LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED, PEOPLE WHO LIVE INGLASS HOUSES SHOULD NOT THROW STONES, ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS....
4. A Routine ProcedureJulia: Aren’t you nervous about your Surgery next week? Hugh: No, it’s a Routine procedure. I don’t even need To be admitted overnight. Julia: But aren’t you going under General anesthesia? It’s not the same as Local anesthesia, you know. Hugh: Yes, I know. This is an Out-patient procedure. If the doctors don’t think I ... Читать далее...
5. Controlling your spouseThere were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, «Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your ... Читать далее...
6. A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleagueA prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She’s worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I’m worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well she’s 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been ... Читать далее...
7. The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospitalThe medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues. In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg’s physician comes into his room and says, «Sol, I’m happy ... Читать далее...
8. A woman walks into her accountant’s office andA woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, «Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.» He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, «What is your occupation?» The woman replies, «I’m a whore.» The accountant balks ... Читать далее...
9. A wonderful exerciseA neighbor of mine, Myron, in his mid-50’s, had a relatively minor heart attack, and while he was in the hospital, he complained to his cardiologist that he thought that his sex life was over. The cardiologist said, «Not true, Myron. Sex is wonderful exercise for your heart. After you get home, you should have ... Читать далее...
10. Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want adFresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. «I need someone with an accounting degree,» the man said. «But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы heart[heart] See: AFTER ONE’S OWN HEART, AT HEART, EAT ONE’S HEART OUT, BREAK ONE’S HEART, BY HEART, CHANGE OF HEART, CROSS ONE’S HEART, DOONE GOOD or DO ONE’S HEART GOOD, FIND IT IN ONE’S HEART, FROM THEBOTTOM OF ONE’S HEART or WITH ALL ONE’S HEART, FROM THE HEART, GET TOTHE HEART OF, HAVE A HEART, ... Читать далее...
12. A man had a flat tire on a very cold winter dayA man had a flat tire on a very cold winter day. He told his girl friend he’d have it fixed in no time. However as it was very cold his hands kept getting cold. He asked his girl if he could put his hands between her knees to warm them. She said that would ... Читать далее...
13. This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little JohnnyThis guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter’s hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog’s ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова hospitalHospital — больница, госпиталь Перевод слова Mental hospital, hospital for the insane — психиатрическая больница hospital attendant — санитар больницы hospital bill — счет за лечение в больнице She works at Hospital. Она работает в больнице. Hurry them to the Hospital! Быстро отправьте их в больницу. She phoned the Hospital daily. Она звонила в больницу ... Читать далее...
15. The modest man is in the hospital for a series of testThe modest man is in the hospital for a series of test. One of the last test has left his system upset. Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom he decided the latest was another. He completely filled his bed up with human waste and was embarrased beyond anything he could possibly face. Losing ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы on one’s knees[on one’s knees] {adj. phr.} 1. Pleading; begging very hard. Theboys were on their knees for hours before their parents agreed totheir camping plans. The Jacksons won’t contribute to the RedCross unless you get on your knees. 2. In a very weak condition; nearfailure. When the graduates of the school heard that it was on ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова flowerFlower — цветок, цветение, цвести Перевод слова Flower market — цветочный рынок to burst into flower — распуститься, расцвести his talent flowered very early — его талант расцвел очень рано What is this Flower called? Как называется этот цветок? She Flowered into young womanhood. Она превратилась в прелестную молодую женщину. Roses start to come into ... Читать далее...
18. ParalyzedA big fat housewife is on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor, when she suddenly yells to her husband, «Come here quick, Charlie! I’m paralyzed! I can’t get up!» He comes in, takes a look, and says, «Stand up, you silly old bat. You’re kneeling on one of your tits.»...
19. Перевод слова stoneStone — камень, каменный Перевод слова To cast a stone — бросить камень stone wall — каменная стена a road covered with stones — дорога, покрытая камнями He aimed a Stone at me. Он запустил в меня камнем. He must have a heart of Stone. Должно быть у него каменное сердце. The Stone has a ... Читать далее...
20. Cow on Train TracksA passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. «What’s going on?» she yells out the window. «Cow on the track!» replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы lose heart[lose heart] {v. phr.} To feel discouraged because of failure; tolose hope of success. The team had won no games and it lost heart. Contrast: TAKE HEART....
22. Перевод слова fellowFellow — человек, парень, тип; товарищ, собрат Перевод слова A fellow can’t work all day long — не может же человек работать весь день jolly fellow — веселый малый fellows at school — товарищи по школе Oh, isn’t he a duck of a Fellow? Не правда ли, он просто прелесть? A tight Fellow! Хороший парень! ... Читать далее...
23. A nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlementA nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a cell with a huge evil looking guy. The big guy says, «I want to have some sex. You wanna be the husband or the wife?» The accountant replies, «Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод идиомы bring to one’s knees / bring someone or something to their knees, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: bring to one’s knees / bring someone or something to their knees Перевод: поставить на колени; победить кого-либо или что-либо Пример: The strike by the teachers quickly brought the school district to its knees. Забастовка учителей быстро поставила школьный округ на колени....
25. Значение идиомы break one’s heart[break one’s heart] {v. phr.} To discourage greatly; make very sad or hopeless. His son’s disgrace broke his heart. When Mr. White lost everything he had worked so hard for, it broke his heart....
26. A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desertA fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this whistle — Whooee da Whoee! — but doesn’t know what it is. Predictably, he’s ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы lose one’s heart[lose one’s heart] {v. phr.} To fall in love; begin to love. Shelost her heart to the soldier with the broad shoulders and the deepvoice. Bill lost his heart to the puppy the first time he saw it....
28. Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asksPappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks, «Where ya going boy?» The son smiled and replied, «I’m a-going courting Peggy-Sue.» The Father said, «When I went a-courtin’, I didn’t need me no dang lantern.» «Sure Pa, I know.» the boy said. «And look what you got!»...
29. Childhood DiseasesChildhood Diseases Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed together for the first time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored. «What happened to you feet?» his wife asked. «I had a childhood disease called tolio.» «Don’t you mean polio?» «No, tolio, it only ... Читать далее...
30. Purchasing new brainsA mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I. Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate. ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы bring to one’s knees[bring to one’s knees] {v. phr.} To seriously weaken the power or impair the function of. The fuel shortage brought the automobile industry to its knees....
32. Перевод идиомы leave no stone unturned, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: leave no stone unturned Перевод: приложить все усилия, сделать все возможное, использовать все возможности, испробовать все средства Пример: The police left no stone unturned when they were looking for the lost girl. Полиция приложила все усилия, когда они искали пропавшую девочку....
33. This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a buildingThis guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign «Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.» «Hans Olaffsen?», he thinks. «How in the world does that fit in here?» So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, «How in the world did this place ... Читать далее...
34. So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a buildingSo this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building and this white dude sees him. After the Mexican is done the white guy asks him, «How come you Mexicans don’t wash your hands after you pee?» And the Mexican guy replies, «Because we Mexicans don’t piss in our hands»...
35. ProctologistsOf all the professions we fear, one stands out. No, it’s not «mortician;» by then it’s too late. This is a word that makes a certain part of our anatomy pucker in anticipation. Yes, the word is «proctologist;» the dreaded p-word! The mere mention of the word strikes terror deep inside most of us. 9 ... Читать далее...
36. What is your nameWalking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, «Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.» «Hans Olaffsen?», he muses. «How in hell does that fit in here?» So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind ... Читать далее...
37. A vacationing penguin is driving through ArizonaA vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. ... Читать далее...
38. Can you throw yourself against the wind — Можешь ли ты броситься наперекор ветруI was everywhere and wasn`t anywhere as usual. I was walking along all roads and paths, was caressing stray cats, was licking new green leaves. It was spring and I just have shaken off my winter cold, my mood was free, warm and new as those leaves. But suddenly something broke off my accustomed condition. ... Читать далее...
39. A crowd had gathered around a whore andA crowd had gathered around a whore and they were about to stone her. Jesus stepped in front of her and said: «Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.» From the back of the crowd came this stone which hit Jesus on the head and knocked him down. Jesus turned and looked ... Читать далее...
40. An amazing forebodingFellow 1 : «Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too.» Fellow 2 : «Wow, that’s Incredible. How did he ... Читать далее...